If We Had Hearts
by BriRy18
Summary: (FEM-SORA AU) After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go, her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.
1. The Name

If We Had Hearts: After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

Author's Note: This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.

 **Chapter 1: The Name**

 _Wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I..._

 _I need more affection than you know…_

Emptiness… that's the best way she could describe herself. She was just empty. She had no memories, no connections, and no emotions. She wasn't sure what all those thing even were. Eyes clouded over blue, blonde hair that rivered down her back in curly spikes the empty girl watched the people walk around her, full of life and light and she in essence became their shadow, lingering in the dark, observing, and staying distant.

She saw merchants selling stock, saw workers hefting items over shoulders or onto carts. She saw kids her own age running through the wide open streets of the square, dodging the lil trolly that circled around. Her feet felt heavy as she began to walk, aimlessly with no real direction in mind she just walked and walked. Something was stirring in the air, something was pulling at her but she didn't know what.

She heard the buzz of the square die as she walked through the hole in the wall and into a forest of green trees. The scent of air was fresher here… sweet with nature, and flowers. The wind felt cool and calm against her cheeks. Still she walked not really knowing where to go. She found herself standing in front of a large mansion, eyes wide and dazed she took in the grand structure. It seemed abandoned, and yet so well preserved.

She felt the darkness, felt the presence of them pile up around her. She turned and saw the dark creatures surround her. What were these shadows? One leapt up, and her body reacted before she could comprehend what to do. Her hand flew up and a shimmer of silvery light blocked the attack.

The presence of the keyblade was so familiar to her. The weight, the power, the grip of the handle. She could see herself using it… could see how to destroy the dark. She slice and beat back the dark creatures, calculating and almost cold. Fatigue waned her body and she slumped to the ground once the foes had disappeared.

She lay on the ground a moment, wondering what this fluttering sensation in her chest was. She didn't recognize it as surprise or fear. She wasn't sure how to respond to it. The keyblade had vanished from her grip the moment the threat was gone, but she knew she could call upon it again when the need arose.

Images flashed in her mind. Images of many battles like the one she'd just been in. Images of the shadows in various shapes and sizes. Images of a figure much like her own wielding the keyblade and vanquishing them, sending free the light. Was she remembering who she was? Who was she? Where had she come from? What was she doing here?

" _You seek answers."_ A voice disturbed her thoughts. Her eyes wandered and she stood to watch a portal of darkness open in front of her and a figure stepped out. He was neither human nor shadow, but a disturbing mix of both. He was tall and cloaked, but had the same scent of darkness the shadows had.

"You Seek Answers…" He repeated to her. His face shrouded by the dark cloak. She stared at him blankly. Her body reacted before she could understand. Her head nodded forward in an agreeing motion. He flashed his hand out, the name Sora spreading across and she narrowed her eyes on it. Was this who she was?

"You feel nothing. Nothing is real… but I can give you purpose."

Was that true? She wondered and watched the letters spiral now. They spun and they spun mixing their order til the stranger thrust his hand out again. A large X speared in the middle now creating her identity.

"Roxas…"

"That is right… the new you."

Roxas… finally something she could cling onto. Something she could comprehend. Her name was Roxas. The dark man turned his head as another stepped through the dark portal.

"Ah, Axel… good timing. I'd like you to meet our newest member. Number 13 Roxas, the Key of Destiny."

"Nice to meetcha," Axel offered casually his hood discarded and his hand waving friendly like. When he got no response he let out a low whistle. "Not much of a talker is she?"

"She's still new, not yet established in the world. We'll have to guide her carefully."

"If she's so new then why did you bring her aboard?"

"Because she is the nobody of the keyblade's chosen one."

"Are you serious?" His eyes whirled onto the girl again. She didn't seem to be paying much attention to their conversation and was just staring at her own hands as if wondering what they were capable of.

"I got a preview of her power just moments ago. She's just what we need to help us collect the hearts. Make her feel welcomed. Show her around, and bring her back so we can introduce her to the rest of the council." Xemnas turned around and Roxas stepped behind him as if to follow but Axel rest a hand on her shoulder.

"Easy there, shortie. You're coming with me for now." He wraps an arm around her and guided her back towards town. "Let me show you the ropes. I'm Axel, by the way."

"Axel…" She murmured it softly her big blue eyes staring soft and somber. The look had something in Axel's stomach tightening and he fidgeted a bit beside her at the discomfort.

"That's right… got it memorized?"

Her face remained soft and puzzled. Axel gave a sigh and ruffled her hair trying to get her expression to change some. Man the newbies were always like this, fresh from the cut of their heart, and numb to all emotions. Eventually memories slip in, and the form takes on the personality… but Axel knew that these first few days were gonna be rough.

"Okay so Xemnas wants me to show you the ropes, but I imagine that'll take only about ten minutes. So why don't I show you something even better?" He took her by the hand and guided her through the town. Roxas paused momentarily to glance back at some kids eating blue ice cream.

Axel caught the look, smiled. "Sorry I don't have any munny to pay for Sea Salt ice cream… next time, I promise." He pulled her closer in by the shoulder. Roxas made a little sound of surprise by the motion and tensed up. His brow raised and he glanced down to see the slightest of blushes on her cheeks. Ah, so there WAS something in there… he'd have to poke at it more later.

He took her up to the clock tower, those lifeless blue eyes suddenly filling with light and staring out into the setting sun. He watched her rub a hand over her chest as if to steady the heart that wasn't there.

"Pretty, isn't it?"

She nodded and walked forward. Axel had to yank her back from the edge as she almost toppled forward.

"Easy, you can't walk on air, Roxas. Here, sit." He moved himself to sit on the edge then sat her down beside him. "Enjoy the view. It's best from afar like this anyway. The closer you get to it the less beautiful it becomes."

Those eyes turn up towards him again. What did it say about a nobody that felt stirring emotions from such doll eyes?

"Um… After we sit for a bit, I'll tell you about the organization. We'll go back to headquarters so you can get your coat and room. Okay Roxas?"

"Roxas… Number 13…"

"That's right." He leaned in and flicked a finger down her nose causing those cheeks to flush again. "Roxas."

 **~Day 7~**

For those first few days the name Roxas, and the number thirteen were all she had to hold onto. With no real memories of who she was or where she'd come from she was left at the mercy of Organization 13. She became acquainted to the names and faces of all her counterparts, but as to who they really were or what they were trying to do she had no idea.

Axel was the only one who really gave her any notice outside of missions. He'd ruffle her hair, send her thumbs up and winks before going out on missions. He came back once to take her back to the tower and give her the ice cream she'd been promised… but that had been her second day and she couldn't even remember the taste or color of the ice cream.

She did her best acquainting herself with everything. The castle she lived in was big and she often got lost. While others went on missions she made herself walk the castle to memorize where everything was. As she walked, in her head she went over and over the names and faces of the other organization members.

Number 1, The Superior, Xemnas

Number 2, Xigbar

Number 3, Xaldin

Number 4, Vexen

Number 5, Lexaeus

Number 6, Zexion

Number 7, Saix

Number 8… Axel.

She lingered over that name a bit wondering why her face got warm every time she thought of him or was close by him. She'd have to ask the next chance she got. Shaking her heart she continued her steps down the hall murmuring the names now.

Number 9, Demyx

Number 10, Luxord

Number 11, Luxiana

Number 12, Larxene

Number 13…

"Roxas!"

Her feet stopped in the hall and her eyes lifted up to see Axel running up and waving a hand in greeting.

"Glad I found you. We've got a meeting. Apparently there's yet another member joining the ranks. Come on." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and had her cheeks going hot again.

Today, on her seventh day, she was no longer the newest member. As Roxas sat on her perch in the audience chamber, she found herself staring down at yet another person that would join the organization... Number XIV, Xion. A new number a new name, and a new face for her to memorize.

The hood was pulled up so Roxas couldn't see the kid's face, but just below the shroud she could see lips that smiled in her direction. Surprise came over her face as something clicked in her mind… a brief flash of another smile, another person… but it was gone before could register who it was or where she'd seen it before.

 **~Day 8~**

After the meeting had adjourned Roxas had gone straight back to her room to sleep. It was made aware that she would be starting her first mission come morning and it left her a bit shaken. She wasn't entirely sure what to do or what was going on inside her, something just felt dislodged. Thankfully sleep overtook her and she forgot to be nervous when morning came.

She was grateful it was Axel who'd be leading her through the first mission. Out of all the organization members he was the most patient with her, teaching her, helping her understand everything that was going on.

Saix was in charge of handing out missions, so the two of them stood in front of Saix. The basics of the mission was to get her feet wet with a little treasure hunt mission. She was to get out on the town, learn to search and use her body to scout out treasure and valuables. An easy task, but one that she had to go through.

"Teach her well, Axel." Saix told him with his calm and unamused expression.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure she makes the grade." Axel assured and glanced over to see Roxas staring at the newcomer. The kid was silently staring, just watching what all was taking place. "What is it?" Axel asked leaning down beside her ear. "You worried about the new kid?"

"Mmm" Roxas gave a nod. She wasn't sure what she felt about the newcomer… but worried seemed to fit. She'd been in their shoes only days before, and wondered if they were having the same thoughts as she.

"What was that name again?" Axel asked Saix.

"Number 14, Xion."

"Xion…" Roxas spoke quietly. The eyes were blue under the hood… she noted. Eyes that stared straight into her.

"You have it memorized, ROxas?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah? How about my name?" Axel continued to poke. It surprised her a lil that she had an urge to smile.

"Axel."

"And what about our boss' name?"

"Xemnas."

"No way you can forget that, right?" Axel assured and pat her shoulder. He stroked it and pulled her close to him so they could step through the dark portal together.

It didn't take long for her to get the hang of wandering. She enjoyed looking at the town, slipping in and out like a shadow to just watch what all was going on, and finding little hidden treasures. She jumped and climbed and felt an ease with it… and when they finally found the treasure box she opened it and admired what was inside.

"Mission Complete." Axel said with a smile and helped her back to her feet. "Time for a reward."

"A reward?" Roxas blinked in confusion. "Aren't we supposed to go back?"

"Nah, our job's done. Let's go enjoy our little victory. I'll buy you some ice cream."

"Ice Cream…" Yes, she wanted that. She wanted to remember the sight, the smell, the flavor of it and hoped he would buy it more often so she could memorize all those things. So he took her up onto the clock tower, she sat in her normal spot admiring the view and took the blue bar he handed her.

"The icing on the cake." Axel said grinning at her. "You remember what this ice cream is called?"

No, she didn't… and why that made her feel bad she didn't understand.

"It's um…"

"Sea Salt Ice Cream. I already told you before. Get it memorized." Axel pointed to his temple with a smirk.

Roxas nodded and bit into it. Her eyes widened at the chill and salty sweet flavor.

"It's salty… but sweet."

Axel couldn't help himself. He laughed.

"Roxas, you said the exact same thing the other day."

"I did…" Her eyes looked at him wide and confused. "I don't remember."

"So what has it been, a week since you joined the organization?" Axel asked taking a bite out of his own ice cream.

"I guess it has." She nibbled on the ice cream then let it rest in her hands as she stared down at the town her mind trying to collect all the wandering thoughts.

"You guess, c'mon you got to remember that much at least." He pat her shoulder. "Look at you now, here in the field working for the organization, right?"

"For the organization?" That distinction triggered something and she turned her eyes to his face. He was still looking out at the sun his bar gripped in one hand over his lap.

"You might even say..." He said turning to use his free hand to brush back a strand of blonde hair that fell in her face. "...that this is where it all really begins for you."

"Where it all begins…" She repeated slowly and letting those words sink in. She still wasn't sure what he meant by her working for the organization, or what these missions and field work was for… but what she did know is that this place he'd shared with her, the ice cream he bought her… she'd memorize every piece of it, and treasure it

 _In you and I, there's a new land… My Sanctuary, My Sanctuary._

 _ **Yay! First chapter of "If We Had Hearts." What do you guys think? Tell me your honest opinions and I'll get you the next chapter as soon as I can.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: The Heartless Mission**_


	2. The Heartless Mission

If We Had Hearts: After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

Author's Note: This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.

 **Chapter 2: The Heartless Mission**

 _My Sanctuary… Where fears and lies melt away… Music inside._

 **~ Day 10~**

The room she'd been given was stark white, and looked out at the square of dark city buildings where she knew the heartless roamed freely. She wasn't sure what kept them from coming inside the castle, but Saix and the other organization members assured her that the Superior would never allow a breach.

Heartless… The creatures that had come after her in Twilight Town finally had a name. Luxiana, who had been put in charge of her the day before, had explained to her that heartless were creatures that were manifested in the darkness, whether by nature or design. A pureblood heartless were hearts that succumbed to darkness on their own and usually resembled something of a shadow, Emblemed Heartless had been created by a machine and took shape of creatures of the world they inhabited.

Her keyblade was the proper weapon to destroy them. With her weapon the hearts could be freed and collected for the purpose the organization had in store for them. Kingdom Hearts. Roxas still wasn't sure what that was or what even a heart was. She'd have to ask Axel, if anyone could tell her he could. Nevertheless she'd finally found her purpose, and she would do her job, she would do her job well.

The stink and sweat of the day was proof of that. The smell of her clothes made her nose wrinkle and she unzipped the coat letting it fall to the floor before stepping into the bathroom connected to her room. She eyed the shower carefully trying to remember the steps Larxene had shown her and shuddered a bit remembering the shock the blonde nymph had given her the moment her fingers touched the water.

This time however she was alone, and when she touched the water she felt the heat, and smooth ripple of water against fingers. She stepped in letting the water beat against her and sighed. Something tight inside her released like a lock and she collapsed into the stall just staring blankly up as the water pelted on her.

Her mind wandered to her lesson earlier that day. Her guide for today had been Zexion, and he'd done his best to explain that every member of Organization 13 was a nobody. Nobodies lack hearts, and therefore are incomplete. With the help of Kingdom Hearts they could become whole and complete.

"Nobodies don't exist…" she muttered to herself, the water soothing and softening her muscles, making her relax and slump onto the tile. Roxas wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but once awake she no longer felt the hot water. Instead she felt the cool chill of air. Someone was calling her name, and as she blinked open her eyes Axel's familiar face came into view. He had a look in his eyes she didn't recognize, one of concern and then relief as she stirred

"Thank goodness, for a minute I thought I'd have to get Saix or Vexen in here. That wouldn't have been pleasant." He tucked the towel tighter around her as she shuddered and lifted her up. "Hold on, I've got you."

"Axel… what are you doing?" Roxas' tone was sleepy and confused, but she recognized neither feeling, nor did she sense Axel's embarrassment.

"I'm getting you to bed, you can't fall asleep in the shower, Roxas, or you'll drown."

"Drown...oh… the water." She glanced back sleepily at the shower. "How did you know I was in there?"

"I knocked on your door to check up on you, but you weren't there, and I heard the water going. I called out but you didn't answer, so I walked in and… well… found you passed out on the shower floor."

"I didn't even know I fell asleep. The water was warm, and it was… nice. I liked it and I wanted to stay like that."

"You gotta be careful, a nice hot shower is fine but don't get carried away. Five minutes tops for a shower, relax, wash off the ick then get out. Otherwise like I said you're liable to drown." He set her on the bed and handed her her cloak. Roxas eyed it with a frown and just lay down on the bed in only a towel.

"Hey, come on get dressed. You're gonna catch a cold if you lay in bed damp and naked." Red tinted Axel's cheeks.

"I like being naked, that cloak is heavy, and…" she tried to think of the world but failed to comprehend what she wanted to express.

"Uncomfortable?" Axel offered and sat on the side of the bed. "I know, it's a little weird but you can't just lay naked. What if someone sees you?"

"So?" She rolled onto her back, those sleepy blue eyes looking up soft and yet somehow intensely at him. "You're seeing me now, aren't you? It doesn't bother me."

Axel's fingers tightened to fists and he rolled over top of her, their faces getting so close Roxas could taste his breath.

"It should bother you. I'm a guy, you're a girl. I shouldn't have to spell it out for you."

"We're nobodies, Axel. Things like sex, attraction, and lust don't apply to us. Zexion told me that."

Bullshit, Axel thought with a frown. That's such bullshit. He clenched his fists in her hair, the fresh scent of her shower stirring something in his gut. He may be a nobody but he remembered what attraction felt like, and it hit him hard in the gut.

"Want a bet?"

He nearly closed the gap, his mouth just brushing the bottom lip when a knock on the door had him jumping up as if he'd been splashed with cold water.

"Axel, if you're in there, Xemnas wants you and Larxene to go run a quick errand for him." Saix's voice made him grunt and he sat straddling Roxas on the bed his eyes hard and his breathing still rapid.

"Yeah, yeah, i'm going." He looked down at Roxas who hadn't moved an inch, but he saw her face had gone flush and her eyes a little wide. "We're not done here, not by a long shot." He jumped off her and strolled out the door. "Put some clothes on Roxie, don't be an open target."

Roxas watched him leave before sitting up in bed. She touched her face which had warmed from the intimacy, and her own breath was punching out. There was this twisting sensation in her gut and a tickling along her skin that made her shiver.

"We of the organization were born without hearts." She spoke to herself, repeating Zexion's lesson in her mind again. Her eyelashes fluttered and she touched her lips and chest. "So...if we don't have hearts… does that really mean we don't exist?" Her eyes lowered and despite knowing she couldn't feel and shouldn't be bothered by it… Roxas tugged on the cloak and laid down to sleep.

 **~Days 11 thru 14~**

Over the next couple of days Roxas learned a great deal about her purpose with the organization. It helped to have missions to concentrate on everyday, and take things a step at a time. She found her own strengths and realized her weaknesses. She would travel back and forth between worlds, using portals of darkness that they as organization members could use to break through the roads that were blocked from world to world.

She hadn't really seen or heard from Axel because he'd been on his own missions. Roxas wondered why she was a bit disappointed in that, or why she missed seeing him. The last time they'd spoken he'd made her…

… made her what, exactly? She couldn't quite describe it. It was a new sensation, one she was sure a nobody shouldn't be able to express but it was there, clawing its way through to her belly and out of every pore in her body in a terrible heat.

She stepped out of the darkness portal and into Twilight Town… the sight of Axel made her eyes widen and without thinking she ran straight to him and grabbed the back of his cloak. His head turned and he flashed a smile.

"Hey, I was hoping I'd see you today." He turned and took the hand she'd grabbed hold of. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes." She said honestly catching him a bit off guard. He dropped her hand and scratched his cheek laughing.

"Blunt, aren't you." He glanced over as three kids ran past them laughing and shoting at each other. Roxas' eyes followed them, her lips pursed and eyes wide and taking in every movement.

"Who were they?"

"Probably just some kids who live here."

"Does everyone act that way?" She turned those wide blue eyes up at Axel.

"Like what?"

"You know, chasing each other, making all that noise." She turned her glance back to where the kids had disappeared down the street.

"Well yeah, if they have hearts, I suppose that's what they do." Axel replied a bit weirded out by the conversation.

"Hearts…" Roxas' expression turned sour. Axel eyed her and his lips twitched a bit. She looked pissed off.

"C'mon, let's get some ice cream." Axel suggested wanting to lighten her mood.

"Why?" She turned that cool blue gaze on him now.

"Why? Uh, well, cuz… cuz we're friends."

"Friends?" Her brow rose in confusion. "What's that?"

"Friends, eat ice cream together, and laugh and talk about stupid stuff… like those kids we just saw." He watched her gaze soften and widen and glance back at the direction of the downtown noise.

"Friends… huh." Roxas whispered and felt her lips curve a lil. She felt Axel take her hand and pull her along the street. He bought them a couple of ice cream bars and they took their usual spot on the clock tower. Below them the kids from before played and ran around, and the cry of the gulls and ocean echoed around them creating a soothing music to the ears.

Roxas pondered over everything she was experiencing, including the taste of the salty sweet ice cream on her tongue, and the warmth of Axel's body brushed up right next to her. His free hand still touched hers, his fingers drawing lazy circles over the back of her hand in a move neither of them gave much thought to. It just seemed… right.

"Hey Roxas…" Axel spoke up licking ice cream from his lips. "After your next mission, let's meet up for ice cream again." He waited til her gaze met his before continuing. "No fun just going back and forth between the castle and work, right?"

"Hmmm, yeah, right….we're friends, huh?" Roxas smiled softly and stared out at the sunset. It's warmth, and Axel's spread around her and she closed her eyes enjoying the sensation of it. She took a deep breath before biting down into her ice cream again. She felt Axel's fingers lock with hers and for the first time since before she could remember… Roxas was content.

 **~Days 15 Thru 22~**

Axel kept an eye on Roxas when he could. She set out on missions every day, going through them easily, collecting hearts as she was purposed to do. He kept his promise and met up after every mission to eat ice cream and just talk. She'd ask questions, mostly about the world around them… or she'd just sit and contently listen to him as he griped about his own work.

She'd become a real true companion, and the friend he'd said they were. Still he couldn't get the image of her laying half naked in bed underneath him out of his mind. He'd done his best to just ignore the twists and tingles but something about her… the way she looked, the way she smelled, it all seemed familiar and intriguing. He flirt with her… but she was still a novice in that particular game. Most of the time she gave him a blank stare, or just a small smile of amusement to his compliments or teases.

He wondered what he'd have to do, to get her to respond to him a little better. Would he have to coach everything? Perhaps so… and even then would she be open to it?

He turned the various ideas over and over in his head before walking up to Saix after his latest mission. Marluxia and Larxene had finished for the day, and Axel was due to meet Roxas for ice cream again.

"Before you leave," Saix addressed all three of them. "You all have been assigned to Castle Oblivion detail. The superior is becoming impatient with the lack of progress we're making so he wants you three as well as Vexen, Zexion, and Lexaeus to spend a few weeks there and try and speed things up."

"Fun…" Axel groaned and raked fingers through his hair. "When do we have to leave?"

"Tomorrow… so I suggest you tell your little "friend" that you won't be meeting with her anymore." Saix grunted and turned his back on him. Larxene gave a wry laugh.

"Friend? Don't tell me he's talking about Roxas? Have you gone sweet on her, Axel?"

"That's really none of your concern, now is it Larxene?" Axel smirked back at her.

"She's a kid, Axel. Don't expect much out of her, she doesn't remember nearly as much as we do when it comes to the emotions of a heart."

"You make it sound as if you had one before… here I thought you'd always been heartless." Axel snorted and strolled out, his eyes narrowed in the darkness. The darkness suited him… it was empty, brutal, and it fit his brooding mood just perfectly. The longer he stayed, the more he wanted to just drift there, let it consume him.

Still, the light was too bright to ignore, though it stung his eyes he walked to it… stepping through dark and reaching his hands out to touch the light on the other side. The first thing he saw was Roxas' face, her eyes lit when she saw him and she flashed a smile at him. That smile was new, and growing on him more and more. The longer they were together, the bigger her smile got.

"Axel, i bought the ice cream today!" Roxas held out the bar to him. "Come on, the sun's already setting!" She took his hand and squeezed it tightly. Axel wondered why the movement also squeezed his chest too. He followed her all the way up to the clock, sat with her as he always did… and nibbled on his ice cream as he watched her take huge smiling bites.

"I'm gonna miss you…" he whispered and caught her attention. Her mouth still on the ice cream she gave him a wide blinking stare.

"Hmmm?"

"I said, I'm gonna miss… this ice cream thing we do." He cleared his throat and took a bite to give him a minute to respond. "I can fill you in since we're friends. I've been assigned to castle Oblivion."

"Castle Oblivion?"

"Yeah, the organization has a second castle in the lanes between. It's called Castle Oblivion. Got it memorized?" He touched his temple smirking. She answered his smirk with one of her own, but it quickly fell when his words sank in.

"I wish people would tell me these things… when are you leaving?" She clutched the ice cream bar in both hands watching the rest start to drip off.

"Tomorrow, first thing. I won't be able to meet up with you, at least for awhile." He scooted closer and tugged on the ends of her hair. "I'll be back though."

"Mmmm," She turned to him, their faces close again and his hands still in her hair playing with the ends. "I'll miss you." She admitted, not realizing her cheeks had flushed from the close contact.

"I know you will… but hey… how about I give you something to hold you off til I get back."

"Give me something?" Roxas tilted her head a bit in confusion. "Like what?"

"Close your eyes." He instructed, and waited for her lids to close before scooting in all the way. "Keep them closed." He whispered and with a quick inhale kissed her. Roxas' breath backed up into her lungs as the sensation of his mouth on her sent all those tingles fluttering through her. She nearly dropped her ice cream in the excitement and confusion of the kiss.

Axel had only meant to give her a peck, but the sensation of it was so… perfect. He parted her lips with his tongue let it deepen and he heard her gasp and murmur. His free hand stroked over her face and through her hair and he took big greedy gulps, helpling himself to her flavor and touch.

When he finally broke away they were both breathing a little heavily, Roxas' eyes finally opened and she stared at him confused, and stirred up. Those blue eyes were wet with arousal, though she couldn't adhere to the unfamiliar sensation, and her mouth trembled and was plumped from the contact.

"That should do it." Axel whispered and stroked her cheek before standing up. "Well I better be getting back and getting ready. Nothing but fun, fun, fun." he strolled past her, pausing briefly to glance back and see she was staring at the ground, flushed and so obviously bemused. His lips curved and he touched them with his fingertips laughing a bit. "Time for you to give this a thought."

 _ **Weeeee! Second chapter up. I wonder if I'm going through the days too fast… how did you guys like the flow of this? Let me know if you'd like any changes.**_

 _ **Next Chapter:**_ **Absence and Fulfillment**


	3. Absence and Fulfillment

**If We Had Hearts:** After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

 **Author's Note:** This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.

 **Chapter 3:** **Absence and Fulfillment**

Roxas lay on her bed staring up at the ice cream stick she'd held onto tafter her last meet up with Axel. He was gone now, off to castle oblivion, and left her with a thousand question racing through her head, not to mention this uncomfortable twisting sensation in her chest that made it hard for her to sleep, or even breathe.

These...feelings… because she had no other way to describe what she was experiencing, were confusing and unsettling. She even approached Saix about the change in herself, and the man simply stared blankly, and spoke in his usual monotone.

" _Don't put too much thought into this nonsense, Roxas. Nobodies do not have hearts… therefore nobodies do not have emotions. However, those of us in the organization are different, because all of us remember what it's like to have hearts. We may not remember what our true names were, but the memories of them live deep in our psyche, allowing us to think and act in irrational ways. What you're experiencing isn't truly your emotions, but the memory of the emotions of your former self."_

"My former self…" Roxas whispered and tightly gripped the stick before setting it aside. "What former self… why is it when I ask a question, instead of a straight answer I just end up asking more questions." She sat up and ruffled her hair til the long tresses covered her face. She groaned and rocked herself. "If these feelings aren't mine then where are they coming from… why does my chest hurt whenever I think of Axel… and why do I get all these strange urges to-"

She thought of that time she lay naked under him on the bed, his eyes sharp as he studied her with a disapproving frown. She could remember the scent of his skin, the touch of his fingers in her hair, the sound of his rich voice.

Fiery tingles prickled against her skin and an uncomfortable ache pitched in her let out a gasp and rolled onto her side covering her mouth. Her face had gone bright red and her body started to trembled. What… what was that? What was that sensation? Her breathing went ragged and she wiped sweat away from her face and temple.

"Axel…" she whimpered and curled up into a ball. "What have you done to me?"

 **~Castle Oblivion~**

Axel let out a large sneeze and rubbed his nose with a sniffle. Larxene and Marluxia gaved him a puzzled look.

"What was that?" Larxene scolded. "I've never seen or heard a nobody sneeze before. Were you poking fun just now?"

"Hmmm? No, I honestly don't know where that came from. Must be something in the air of this place… or maybe I'm just allergic to your company."

"Ha, ha, very funny." Larxene hissed out and tossed her pixie blonde hair in a huffing motion. "You know…" she continued after a moment. "You seem pretty intrigued in this Sora kid." She referred to the guest they'd pulled in who was wandering the rooms of Castle Oblivion downstairs.

Axel's eyes went cool and he leaned back against the wall. He'd met the young keyblade master for the first time. Roxas' former self… or better put, her other half. It was a rare and phenomenal feat for a person and their nobody to coincide with each other. Yes, he was very intrigued.

"Are you telling me you're not Larxene?"

"I haven't decided yet." Larxene laughed wondering what sorts of tortures she could ensue on the new toy. "I think what intrigues me more is, what you see in her."

"There was a time when she became a heartless… and when one becomes a heartless-"

"-they lose their minds and their feelings and are consumed by the darkness." Larxene finished, thoroughly bored with the explanation already.

"Right… but not Sora. She was able to hold onto her feelings even as a heartless. There's only one other person who's been able to do just that."

"It's the strength of her heart." Larxene deduced, her eyes suddenly sharpening with realization and interest. "That's what interests you… why the keyblade chose Sora's heart."

"To unlock the mysteries of the heart. Is that not the Organization's mission?"

Yes, Larxene thought with a laugh, but that's not the reason you in particular are interested. Larxene knew, just by looking at him, that his interests were purely selfish.

"Could you imagine what sort of calamity would ensue if Roxas were to meet her other half? Just imagine the twisted look on her face. It would be…. Delicious."

Axel's eyes went fierce and he turned his back on Larxene.

"That's not gonna happen… the organization needs those two separated."

"For the time being anyway…" Larxene crooned and watched Axel vanish into the dark abyss of his portal.

 **~Day 23: Twilight Town~**

For the next couple of days after Axel had left, Roxas tried to ignore the stir in her body and complete her missions. She was put in charge of Xion, and guided the newbie through basic training and simple tests. She originally thought Xion was a female, and found out he had more of a masculine presence and structure hiding under that cloak. He wasn't tall and lean like Axel, but petite and athletic. He was young, probably the same age as her, or close enough to it. He was about her height too, just inching over her by a nose.

His constant quiet presence made her a bit uneasy, and he wasn't much help during the missions. He pretty much watched and ascertained what was going on, and let Roxas handle the dirty work. Which was probably for the best seeing as the guy couldn't even speak.

They finished up the mission for the day, and Roxas stretched out before turning to Xion.

"I've got somewhere to be again today. You go on ahead without me."

Everyday since Axel left she'd bought ice cream for herself, and gone to the clocktower. Even though Axel wasn't there to enjoy it with her, she made a secret promise to herself to continue to go even alone. She hoped that one day Axel would pop up, and things would get back to normal. She was tired of having all these fake emotions racing through her, making her think strange thoughts.

She missed him, Roxas had realized that after the first day. Real feelings or not, there was no denying she wanted to see him, no denying she wanted to hear his voice, his laugh, see his smile. If anyone could give a straight and clear explanation to what was going on inside her it was him, so she hoped he could come back soon, and they could talk out what was happening between them.

She started to walk away from Xion… but a sound made her stop.

"R-Roxas."

"What?" She turned around, her blonde hair kicking into her face at the fast motion. She watched Xion turn to face her, his blue eyes piercing from under the hood.

"Roxas is your name." Xion spoke, for the first time to her.

Eyes wide as saucers she fully faced him and nodded.

"Y-yes, it is."

She held out a hand as Xion turned and left through the portal. She had wanted to hear more from him, but it was obvious Xion had said what he had wanted to say… as minute as it was. Still it left her fuzzy and warm to know that Xion's first word had been her name. For some reason, it made her smile. Perhaps she was becoming an influence on him the way Axel had been on her.

"Roxas, huh?" She laughed a bit and set off to get her ice cream.

 **~Castle Oblivion~**

Axel watched Sora through the viewing globe. The further in she went, the more memories she lost… until Namine had emerged into her memories. It was Marluxia's plan to warp and toy with Sora's memories, putting the rift between her and her friends, and making her a puppet for the Organization… the organization Marluxia intended to overthrow.

He didn't have proof yet that Marluxia was the traitor… but considering the man had used his current hiatus from missions and grunge work to thoroughly take over Castle Oblivion, made Axel suspicious. Saix had told him to find the traitors hiding in the ranks and dispose of them… but just how many were in on it?

"Everything's going according to plan."

"You had your fun on the first floor, now it's my turn."

Frowning, Axel flicked a card to Larxene, pressing a kiss to it she sauntered over and grasped his chin teasingly.

"I'm not just going to give it to her."

"Don't break her," Axel warned with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Do I detect a soft spot?"

"We need her," Axel quickly shot back and the sudden protectiveness in his voice surprised even him.

"Relax, I'm not gonna break the toy. I'm not stupid."

"Sora is the key, we'll need her if we're going to take over the organization." He grunted when Larxene pressed a finger to his lips.

"I know you're in on it too… but keep it under your hood. At least until the time is right." Larxene laughed and strolled off. Axel smirked as he watched her leave. So, Larxene was in on it too.

"You would have been wise to have done the same, Larxene."

 **~Day 25: Twilight Town~**

While Xion wouldn't get the chatterbox award, it was nice to finally hear his voice. Roxas thought his quiet persona suited him well, and wondered what she could do to let him open up just a little more each day. She taught him what she could, and let him observe and collect items while she took care of the heartless foes. Twilight town didn't seem to have a large abundance of heartless, but it was enough to keep her busy, and a good teaching tool for Xion to learn the ropes.

"Roxas..." Xion suddenly spoke up, his voice soft and soothing not quite a man's or child's, but that young teenage gruff. He lifted his hood, and for the first time since he'd joined the organization Roxas saw his face.

He had long black hair that tickled around his wide shoulders, eyes a cool ocean blue, and the muscles in his face were lean and princely. He offered up a smile that would turn normal girls to puddles at his feet.

"Best of luck today."

"Y-yeah," she returned the smile, the momentary surprise of his revealing calming down. What was it about him, Roxas wondered, that reminded her a bit of Axel. The two were nothing alike, in looks or personality, but something about both of them just put her at ease. The thought of Axel made her briefly look away, there was a flutter in her chest which she recognized as the sign of missing him. He liked to creep up on her like that, she noticed, and wished she could put all of these feelings back where they came from. Turning her attention back to Xion she reached out and took his hand. She didn't noticed the surprised look on his face as she started to tug and yank him behind her, or the careful study his eyes were taking of her.

"Come on, let's get to work."

 **~Castle Oblivioin~**

Perfect… now he had two distinctive traitors among the group that was sent to the Castle. The ones left to decipher whether or not numbers 4 through 6 were also amongst the traitors Saix had warned him about.

He very much doubted Lexaeus' involvement, the man had a moral code even as a nobody… and Vexen hated Marluxia with every fiber of his non-existence. Zexion was the most likely to be somewhat aware if not involved. He didn't much care to dirty his own hands, but he was the kind of person who watched others stack the dominoes, and laugh when they fall.

"Now then, how do I go about this? Hmmm perhaps it's best if I just wait, and see where this road leads before I decide to block it off." Axel talked to himself and rubbed his chin, grimacing from the traces of Larxene's grip still lingering. He really did dislike that woman.

He turned his eyes to the viewing globe again, watching Larxene play her game with the pretty young keyblade master. Sora's face, particularly the expressive eyes made him think of Roxas. Thinking of Roxas made him think about the kiss.

He touched his lips with his gloved fingers. He wondered what had possessed him to do such a thing. He just remembered seeing that look on her face, one of worry, and loneliness. He wanted to give her something to think about, something that would erase the sadness. What he probably did was just confuse her… and himself.

Roxas was the only organization member he actually enjoyed spending time with. Because he'd been so involved with her training and initiation he'd gotten the chance to mold her a bit, make her see the world differently from the other organization members.

He worried that his absence might change all that. What would happen if Xigbar, Xaldin, or god help him Demyx were to get their claws in. He had to hurry and finish this mission so he could get back to her, he wanted to see her, wanted-

"Whoa!" Axel jumped and backed away from the globe to run a hand through his hair. "Where'd that come from?" Hurry back to her? Wanted to see her? Just what sort of nonsense put those kinds of thoughts into a guy's head?

It troubled him, more so than he would have liked to admit, that he missed her. Calming himself down Axel lounged back on the wall and took a deep breath. Ever since he'd met her his own head was messed up by the flooding emotions she'd make him remember. When she was around, it was like he had his heart back and it was thriving and beating in his chest.

Before Roxas had come along Axel had been fine just dilly dallying with his missions and work… but now that she was here, he hated work, hated missions, hated being involved with anything that took him away from her.

What was she doing to him?

He was pondering over that very thing as Larxene popped back up wiping her forehead.

"Whew, throwing that fight wore me out."

"Heh, looked to me like you just plain lost." Axel poked fun enjoying the way her face screwed up and her temper flared.

"What? How dare you? You don't understand the nuances of-"

"-an ungainly effort." A new voice popped up and Vexen appeared from a cloud of darkness. "How could you be humbled by someone of such limited significance? You shame the organization." Vexen lectured Larxene, fanning the flames of the Pixie's temper.

"How can we help you, Vexen? It's not often we see you topside."

"I've come to offer you my help. You seem to think that this Sora is someone of significance, but I remain unconvinced. I think an experient is in order to see if she really is of any value to us." Vexen smiled wickedly.

"Here we go again, this is all just an excuse so you can run your little experiments." Larxene hissed.

"I'm a scientist, experimenting is what I do."

"Whatever, you can do what you want. However, I think testing Sora, is just an excuse for testing out your valet." Axel eyed the Riku copy that stood off to the side silent in the corner of the room.

"Valet? He is the product of pure research."

"What he really is, is a toy."

That, Axel was forced to admit, was the truth. As they argued over what to do with the new Riku, Axel found himself feeling a bit sorry for the puppet. The Riku replica begged and pleaded as his heart was warped and his memories changed to make use. His fellow organization members carried on without a sign of remorse or sympathy. Axel was forced to try and do the same. After all, in the end a tool was all the replica would ever become. No matter what kind of feelings and memories Namine put into the boy's head they were all just lies hiding the fact he was an empty soul.

And that sentiment… Axel thought with a sneer… hit just a little too close to home.

 _ **Yay another chapter done. I plan on including more Chain of Memories storyline into this since the two run in tandem, but I still don't know if I'm going to do a full on CoM FemSora fic yet. I've been playing with the rough draft I started and I'm still not happy with the results yet. We'll see what happens.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Two friends, and a Keyblade**_


	4. Two Friends and a Keyblade

**If We Had Hearts:** After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

 **Author's Note:** This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.

 **Chapter 4** _ **: Two friends, and a Keyblade**_

The Town was surprisingly quiet today. The usual gang Roxas would see roaming around were nowhere in sight… in fact Roxas didn't really see anybody. She looked to Xion who was wandering beside her, his eyes wide and taking in everything. He'd been to the town several times before, but this was the first time Roxas remembered seeing him really observe anything but her. She smiled.

"It's quiet, but a nice town all in all don't you think?"

"Huh? Oh, yes," he looked to her confused at first but then nodded in agreement. "Very nice town." He repeated flushing a little and looking down at his hand. He still hadn't quite recovered from her gentle grip. It was just a small touch but it triggered so many things inside him.

They met a few smaller heartless along their walk

"Saix said that there was supposed to be a large heartless somewhere in the town. I don't see a huge heartless, or even any people."

"Which direction do you think we should go?" Xion wondered aloud.

"I say let's go high, from the station we'll be able to see the whole town. We'll be sure to spot it." Roxas cut through another small heartless as it leapt from the shadows. "Let's go!"

As they climbed the hill to the station, Roxas immediately saw their target. The massive black form stood tall and menacing, and it must have been his influence that had scared off the locals. Roxas let her keyblade form in hand and eyed Xion who was poised for attack.

"You ready Xion?"

"Yeah!"

"Then let's get him!" Roxas leaped up, the form wasn't fast, but he had incredible strength. He could summon smaller heartless that leapt up from the darkness. They scratched and clawed at her legs, Xion let loose magic keeping them off her while she concentrated on the large mass.

Still the fight wasn't easy, the hits weren't quite doing the trick, it was only wearing the creature down. She needed to get higher, needed to slice across the chest. She jumped up gasping as its arm shoved at her, batting her away like a fly. Her keyblade went flying. She skidded to the ground rolling until she got to her feet.

She lifted her head just in time to see Xion summon the blade into his hand, he made the jump and slice the black mass clean through to finish it off. Her eyes went wide and she stood up running over to him laughing.

"Xion! I didn't know you could use the keyblade!"

Xion glanced down at the blade, his eyes wary and he smiled.

"You know, neither did I."

The two shared a laugh together, and with this bond created Roxas decided he'd earned a reward.

"You've earned, the icing on the cake." Sora took his hand again. They wandered back into town, things running normal with the presence of the black mass gone. She bought two ice creams keeping her hand in Xion's until they made the climb up the station tower.

"This is such a great spot, how did you find it?" Xion sat beside her watching the sunset. He clutched his hands in his lap rubbing the palm that had been clasped in Roxas' and tried to make sense of what was going on inside him. He looked to the side and Roxas held out the blue ice cream she'd bought out to him.

"Here yah go… Sea Salt Ice Cream… go on, try it."

Xion looked down at the ice cream, his eyes blinking and he opened his mouth taking a nibble.

"Mmmph, it's sweet… and salty."

"It's good right?" Roxas' smile was bright and happy as she bit into her own ice cream. "Axel and I always meet here for ice cream after work. This flavor," she held out the blue bar smiling at it affectionately. "It's Axel's favorite."

"Sounds like it's yours too." Xion commented watching Roxas smile and talk. She looked like she was enjoying herself, and there was a contentment there that he'd never seen on any of the others in the organization. It was that look that had drawn him in the first time they'd met, and made him study her, watch her, and want to interact with her.

"Axel took me here on my first day with the organization, and then again after my first mission. He called it the icing on the cake."

"Like you just did for me…"

"Yeah!"

"You and Axel," Xion looked back at the sunset his ice cream melting in his hand. "You guys must be really close."

"Well yeah," Roxas thought about it… and had to nod in agreement. She was closer to him than anyone else. Wasn't that the reason she'd been so churned up since he'd left. Why his kiss had both delighted and confused her to the point of keeping her up at night? She couldn't wait to see him again, she wanted desperately to see him, to ask him why he'd done that… and why it suddenly felt like she had someone banging drums in her chest whenever she thought about it. "We're friends."

"Friends…" He turned towards her, watching her face, and sparkling eyes. "Do you think I could be a friend?"

"Of course…" Roxas' eyes lit up as an idea hit. "Hey when Axel gets back, we can all have ice cream together!"

"I'd like that." Xion agreed and the two turned their heads back to the sunset, and ate ice cream.

 **~Castle Oblivion~**

Sora ran into the next room and stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes went wide and her heart galloped at the sight of Riku walking straight to her.

"Riku!" She ran to him, "it is you! What are you doing here?" She held out her arms and engulfed him in a hug. She buried her face in his shoulder shaking a bit.

Riku's replica stood still as a statue, his eyes narrowed as he glanced down and pulled back from the trembling female. He saw the tears, saw the relief, and had to snarl a bit.

"Spare the tears, Sora. I'm pretty sure you'd all but forgotten about me."

"What? That's not true. I came all this way looking for you!" Sora wiped at her tears.

"That's not the reason anymore though is it? He growled. "Now it's only Namine that you're concerned about." He crossed his arms. "You don't care about me… just like you never cared at all about her feelings."

"Namine's feelings?"

Axel watched from the viewing globe as Riku's replica twisted and manipulated Sora's heart. Vexen's experiment was doing well to cause her confusion, letting her emotions run hot and heavy, making her easier to control. Marluxia's plan was working… but at what cost?

Sora was a keyblade wielder. The ins and outs of her heart could be the clue they all needed to become real again. If this deception kept up they may damage Sora's heart beyond repair.

He looked back at the globe, Sora had continued the chase cornering Riku again forcing him to look at her.

"Don't you remember what you did when we closed the door? Don't you remember what you said to me?"

"I remember… but you never shared my feelings. I realized that when I came here. All those faces on the island, I've forgotten them all, and remembered only what's important." He pushed her back and clutched the star shape around his neck, Sora eyed it and something triggered.

"That…"

"Thanks for finding it for me, Namine gave this to me before she left the island… and you gave it back to me at the door. I said those words to you... but they weren't for you, they were for her. I love Namine!"

"That's not true!" Panic raced through Sora's mind and heart. She'd said it so suddenly it'd shocked even her. The disbelief in her voice frightening and motivating. "You and I both care about Namine, but our bond is special Riku. It always has been." She remembered them as kids, fighting each other with wooden swords, laughing and playing. She hadn't forgotten anything about him. Her fingers reached up to hold the stars clinking on her braid. "It's not true, none of it is. You only forgot… I'll prove it. I'll jog your memory." She let her keyblade free and the two battled.

Axel touched the globe, seeing the look on Sora's face as she fought. It was time, he thought, time to finish this, and go back to who he cared about. He returned to the group, watching, calculating on how he could finish his mission. He needed Marluxia to admit his treason, but how?

It was Vexen who gave him his opportunity. Like him, Vexen saw through Marluxia's plan, and decided to tip off the keyblade master. While battling her, Vexen formed a card of Twilight Town, not her memory, but one from Roxas who resided on the other side of Sora's heart. The two were connected, and the memory far more real than any facade's Namine was feeding Sora. They all knew if Sora became too aware of what was going on, she could disappear into the lanes between, and out of the organization's grasp.

"If Sora disappears," Axel casually commented. "That would mess up the organization's plans."

"I trust you know what to do." Marluxia scowled, furious with Vexen for butting into his master plan.

"Haven't a clue, really, perhaps you should spell it out for me."

"Vexen has clearly committed a treasonous act against the organization. You must eliminate the traitor."

"No taking that back later." Axel smirked and vanished into the dark.

Sora stood in front of the old haunted mansion, her eyes wide with wonder as this trembling in her heart caused stirrings and emotions racing. There was something, nostalgic about this place, about the grounds, and the old gate. She swear she could hear whispers of voices from the past, see shadows in front of her… and a name that was just on the tip of her tongue. R...R...Rox-

"So! Feeling nostalgic?" Vexen appeared and startled her. She whirled around to face Vexen her eyes hard and teeth set in a snarl.

"Sora, a question, your memories of Namine, or you feelings here, which of the two are more real? I wonder."

"Namine, of course!" Sora was convinced, and on full alert. No way she would trust anything these people handed to her. The longer she talked to Vexen, however, the more her heart began to waver. The things he was saying her were making a sickening sense, and left her trembling with anger and confusion.

"It is your heart that remembers." Vexen said coolly, confidently.

"You're wrong!" Denial, and frustration swelled up, fueling Sora's anger. "I don't know this place!"

"If you remain bound by the chain of memories, and refuse to see what is truly in your memories, then throw them away. You're not a keyblade master, just a slave to twisted memories. Yes… exactly like my Riku. Your existence is worth nothing!"

"Like your Riku… worth nothing?" That did it. Convinced, Sora growled between grit teeth. Trembling with fury she let her blade loose. "That's enough! You're the one who changed Riku! Every word you said is a lie!"

Sora clutched her chest feeling the beat and response. "I'd never throw away my heart. I'm going to beat you, and save Riku and Namine. That's what's in my heart!"

Such a passionate girl, Axel mused watching from the shadows. Her fight with Vexen was filled with such hate and personal vendetta. It was a sight worthy of the icky reason for him being here. Then again he'd never been a big fan of Vexen to begin with. The guy was pompous, arrogant, so proud of his number and status in the organization when really he was a throw away. His research and experiments did nothing to further the Organization's ideals, and it was clear by his orders, that everyone here in Castle Oblivion, including himself, was expendable.

His own anger swelled at the thought of being so easily tossed aside. He'd show the higher ups that he was worthy of keeping around! He watched Vexen collapse and waited for just the right time to make his entrance. Just as Vexen got to his feet he let his Chakram fly, the fire blazing along the blades and scorching the already crumbling scientist.

Sora gasped and whirled around, her long braid twisting over her neck and whipping into her face. "Axel!"

"Yo, Sora!" Axel greeted cheerfully. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Axel... Why?" Vexen slowly got to his feet, his body shaking, his voice gruff and filled with pain from the attack. Sora looked between the two men, caught in the middle and thoroughly confused.

"I came to stop you from talking too much…" Axel explained. Unlike Vexen who was shaken up, Axel seemed calm and cool. He stared at Vexen with a look that sent chills running through Sora's blood. "...by eliminating your existence."

"What?" Vexen gasped, and Sora stood shocked. "No, don't do it!"

"We are just nobodies who have no one to be, and yet we still are. Now you can be just nothing instead of just a nobody. " He smirked. "You're off the hook."

"No, please, don't do it!" Vexen backed into the gate, no where to run, no where to go. He tried calling the darkness to escape but he could already feel the pull of death.

"Goodbye." Snapping his fingers Axel set Vexen's body aflame, scorching him from the inside out. Sora's eyes went wide and she shook with disbelief at what just happened.

"What…. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE?!" Sora whirled around again to face Axel, gasping a little when she found he'd closed the distance and was admiring her face closely. She backed up a few steps and grunted when he grasped her chin.

"You know…" He stared into her eyes.. The same beautiful blue her and Roxas shared. He leaned in tempted to kiss those lips, much as he had done to Roxas… but couldn't find the heart...heh… to do it. "I wonder about that myself."

He let the black rise up and around him, phasing away from Sora and back to the meeting. With his initiation complete, Axel now had it in with the true traitors of the Organization. Whether by his hand, or whether by the keyblade master's... Marluxia and Larxene would meet their ends. Once he had a moment alone he sent a message to Saix and slipped back into his role as spy.

 _ **Yay! Another chapter up! This took me awhile to edit out, i thought I was including too much Chain of Memories, but I really wanted to combine the two and get a better grasp of the timeline between the games.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: First Taste of Grief**_


	5. First Taste of Grief

**If We Had Hearts:** After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

 **Author's Note:** This story centers on Roxas and her life with Organization XIII and while Xion will make an appearance I'm focusing more on our two favorite nobodies Roxas and Axel.

 **Chapter 5: First Taste of Grief**

 _The first traitor has been eliminated. Before the week is out, all who betrayed the organization will be dealt with. You should know, both Sora and Riku are wandering around the castle, and are being used in one form or another by the other organization members. I think it best if I halt my reports for the time being._

 _Axel._

Saix stared at the message, absorbing the information before disposing of it. So the first step was taken, but Axel's need to halt the reports spelled trouble. It would mean that there was more than one person who antagonized the Organization's goals and needs. Gritting his teeth he returned to the Mission room.

Xigbar lounged back on the couch, but at the sight of Saix immediately stood up. "Xemnas went off to his special place, he said you can report to him when he gets back. Any news from the Loser Castle?"

"I just received word from Axel… he's eliminated the first traitor… but has explained he can't send any more messages for some time. Which means it's begun."

"I wonder which one of them got the ghost first. My Money's on Larxene, annoying little harpy." Xigbar grunted. "I hope she went screaming."

"Who knows… but that's not all he reported. It appears both Sora and Riku are in Castle Oblivion."

"You're kidding!" Xigbar had to laugh. "Oh man, what are the odds? Are you sure it was Axel who eliminated the traitor?"

"Who knows… but with both key bearers there, it may come to pass that none of the organization members that were sent to Castle Oblivion will survive."

"So what?" Xigbar grunted and waved a hand in the air. "Who cares if those losers are dead? I say good riddance!"

"Saix!" Xigbar turned to see Roxas standing just inside the door. Her eyes narrowed and confused. "I… I just heard from Demyx that Organization members are being wiped out.

Saix and Xigbar exchanged looks before looking back to the younger member. Both of them remained silent as she approached.

"So is it true then… about Castle Oblivion?"

"That's none of your concern." Saix said quickly, seeing the hysteria forming.

"What about Axel?" Something about the look in Saix's eyes had her gut twisting and she desperately wanted to be sick.

"Gone…" He said after a moment deciding it best she was distanced from Axel. "He may have disappeared for good."

"What?" Her blue eyes go wide with shock. There was pain, in those eyes, something sharp and aching that brought fire into her chest making it hard to breathe. The older organization members stepped away leaving her alone in the mission room to cope.

She stared at her hands, seeing them shake. Her entire body felt strange… She'd never known such pain… wounds she understood, fatigue she understood… but this kind of pain was like being attacked from the inside. She held her chest and stomach falling to her knees.

That's how Xion found her, curled up on the ground trying desperately to breathe.

"Roxas!" Xion ran to her kneeling beside her and lifting her up to cradle. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I…" She whimpered and looked up. Xion was taken aback as he saw those beautiful blue eyes spill over with tears. "I don't know…"

 **~Hours later~**

Roxas had never cried before. She didn't know what it was or why she had done it. It was a terrible experience, unable to breathe, unable to speak, her body just reacting in ways she just couldn't understand. Xion had stayed with her, sat with her in her room til she'd calmed down. It had helped, a great deal, to have him there.

Still the organization wouldn't wait. They both had missions to go on, and today they'd be separated for the first time since Xion started missions. Still she was confident in him, she knew he had the skills to handle missions on his own… and it was time she concentrated on her own.

Today she was with Xigbar, it had been awhile since she'd shared mission space but seeing as they were going to a new world, a place called Agrabah, Saix thought it best that she was accompanied.

She lingered on even after collecting her quota. She destroyed another heartless, watching the creature vanish to smoke, and the heart rise from its blackness to be collected.

"Hey… what happens to heartless when they're destroyed?"

"The hearts remain…" Xigbar explained, glad she was back to her curious and questioning self. He hadn't like the idea of being stuck with a whimpering girl. "Then those hearts are gathered to create the great Kingdom Hearts."

The bodies of the heartless are destroyed… Roxas thought… but the hearts, their essence, live on.

"So...can you tell me what remains when a Nobody is destroyed?"

Xigbar grunted, knowing exactly where this was going. Still he spoke the truth… or as much of it as he knew.

"What's there to leave behind? We were never supposed to "be" in the first place."

"Then, what happened to the organization members at Castle Oblivion?" Roxas stepped closer, the ache in her stomach and chest returning. She could feel the tears wanting to well up but she pushed them back. "Where'd they go?"

"Nothing is left of them." As far as he knew anyway… Xigbar tapped his fingers on his thigh impatiently.

"Which means… I'll never see them again?"

"That's right." Not wanting to see the waterworks that were surely on their way Xigbar turned his back. "You coming?"

"Axel…" Roxas slowly opened her eyes, waited for the calm to come… The memories and images of Axel filling her up, threatening to spill the tears again. "Damn it I hate this…" She stubbornly wiped them away. Roxas stood in the hot sun, sweating under her black coat, but feel cold right down to the bone. She cradled herself shaking out a breath to calm the tears. She would NOT cry again. She would NOT feel this way!

"Why do I-" The shock of pain in her head shook her out of the crying fest. She held it, and looked around as her vision blurred. Xigbar turned, shocked at how pale she'd suddenly gone, those blue eyes of her going blank.

"Kiddo? Oi!" He rushed back to catch her as she collapsed to the ground. "Damn it, what the hell?" He picked her up and brought her through the portal. Saix and Xion looked up as them slipped in.

"Xigbar, what happened?" Xion rushed over to them grunting as Roxas' limp body was tossed into his nearly making him topple backwards. "Roxas?"

"What did you do?" Saix accused narrowing his eyes at Xigbar.

"Nothing! We finished the mission and were heading back and suddenly she just collapsed."

"Xion… take Roxas to her room and lay her down. I will find Xemnas and inform him of what's happened."

"She'll be alright, won't she, Saix?" Xion looked hopeful but only got silence in return. He shifted Roxas in his arms so her head cradled in the crook of his neck. He could feel her breathing, slow and steady… still alive.

He did as he was told, putting her down on her bed and stood watching her lie still as death…. But alive… he told himself. Roxas was still alive.

He felt the uncomfortable twist in his gut… and wondered if this was the pain Roxas had been talking about before. When he'd found her in the Mission room hours before she'd looked so ill. He knew he should have convinced her to stay at base… he probably could have convinced Saix to let her take a day off… let her relax so she could get better.

She hadn't wanted to, she'd wanted to continue her job… wanted to keep going. He admired that about her.

"I'll work twice as hard for both of us, Roxas. I'll take on your missions as well as mine if I have to. Just get better…" He took her hand, squeezed it. "Get better soon."

 **~Day 49~**

Days had passed but Roxas continued to sleep. Xion worked tirelessly, exploring worlds and eliminating heartless, and collecting as many hearts as he could get. It was strange… the more Roxas slept, the stronger Xion felt… it was as if his inner self was telling him to fight hard to protect her.

After every mission he'd return to Roxas' side, and watch her sleep for a time. He'd found a beautiful world, a place by the beach. He loved the sound of waves splashing across the sand, the sweet and salty scent of the sea, and the gentle touch of the breeze on his cheeks. He wanted to show it to her. Wanted to sit on the sand and watch the sunset much as they did in Twilight Town.

He pulled the shell from his pocket, the pretty patterns catching to the eye, a beautiful semblance of the land he'd discovered. He set it down with the others he'd placed on her bedside, admired the rainbow of colors they made against the stark gray sheets of her bed.

"I hope… you can join me next time."

 **~Castle Oblivion~**

Uneasy, and a little scared Sora stood in front of the giant egg shaped dome. While the explanation Namine had given her made some sense.. She still worried if she'd retain all the memories she'd lost. More so, she worried about the memories she'd gained… all those of Namine.

"You sure about this?"

"Yes… Your true memories are too important, Sora. Your connection to the people most important to you, are a big part of who you are. You love Riku, don't you?"

Blushing Sora turned her back to her and clutched her chest.

"Yes… Yes I do love him."

"Then you shouldn't have any doubts about his love either. When two people share the same love, it's special… and should never be tampered with. I'm sorry for that."

"Namine don't…" Sora turned back and placed her hands on her shoulders. "It wasn't your fault. I know that. In the end you did the right thing by telling me the truth."

"I know…" She touched Sora's hand smiling. "Putting your memories back together may take a little time… but I'll be sure to take care of you… of all of you." She looked around at Donald and Goofy.

"Gee, when we wake up… we won't remember who you are anymore." Goofy said with a sad voice and expression.

"And then how are we gonna thank you?" Donald asked with big wide eyes. His bill turned down in a pout.

"I got it… I'll write a message here in my journal." Jiminy pat the book he always carried. "It'll say Thank Namine."

"Oh good, that makes me feel better." DOnald smiled and looked to Goofy. He nodded in return then waved at Namine and Sora.

"Well Good Night then Namine."

"Goodnight Goofy." Naimine laughed a little. She looked to Sora and smiled. "You too, Sora."

"Alright…"

"This may have all started with a lie…" Namine clutched her hands together. "However, I really am glad I was able to meet you."

"Me too… when I first met you… and when I remembered your name. I was happy. Those feelings Namine, those weren't a lie. I can promise you that."

"Mmmmm…" Namine smiled. "Okay… Goodbye."

"No, not goodbye." She turned to her fully and took her hand closing both hers around it. "When I wake up, I'll find you. Then you and I will be friends for real. Promise me that, okay?"

"You're gonna forget making that promise" Namine said with amusement.

"If the chain of memories is broken, the memory will still be there, right?" Sora explained using Namine's own words to prove her point. Sora watched the flicker of emotions across Namine's face until they rested on a smile.

"Okay, then. It's a promise."

Sora let go of her hands only to hook her pinky around Namine's. The promise sealed and the two new friends smiled at each other. Sora climbed into the pod and turned around as the doors closed around her.

"Sora...some of your memories lied deep in the shadows of your heart. I won't be able to find them… but don't worry, because you made other promises to the two people who matter most to you. They are your light. Remember them and all the memories lost in the shadows will come into the light."

"The people who matter most to me…"

"Look at the charms… I tampered with their appearance and background when I changed your memories. However when you thought about them just once, they returned back to the way they were. Hold them… and remember."

As the sleep began to take hold she cradled the stars on the end of her braid and the pieces of an unfinished charm in her hands. The two most important people in her life…

" _It's a charm… so long as you have it I'll always be with you. So promise me we'll each each other again!"_

Riku the person she loved more than anyone…

" _Promise me you'll find him...and both come back to me."_

...and the other whose friendship she coveted more than anyone.

"Kairi!"

 **Yay! I so happy I finally finished this chapter. I'm so happy I got he chance to do any writing at all actually. Sorry this took so long!**

 **Next Chapter: Familiar Face**


	6. Familiar Faces

**If We Had Hearts:** After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

 **Author's Note: I realized a little too late that I keep switching Marluxia and Luxiana's names. Marluxia is a girl in this series of stories, Ailuna is her true name and Luxiana is her nobody name. I will be making the necessary corrections in the story once I've posted this chapter. If you guys notice any other name mix-ups let me know so I can make the necessary corrections! Thanks!**.

 **Chapter 6: Familiar Face**

 _ **~Day 50~**_

Roxas woke up, her head pounding and her body stiff from the long slumber. She slowly rose up touching her temple and looking around at her own room. When had she gone to sleep? How long had she slept?

She glanced to her bedside and saw the shells, picking one up she admired it and it's colorful shell. Her smile was soft and she barely noticed it had spread. It was the first time she'd smiled since she'd heard about Axel.

Axel…

Fresh pain twisted her insides and she clutched her chest. Running outside and down the halls she slowed her pace to a walk as she entered the mission room… and found no one.

"What did I expect?" she sighed and opened a portal for herself to Twilight Town. She grabbed ice cream, and stepped to her usual spot atop the clock looking out at the sunset. She'd just finished her stick when she heard Xion's voice.

"Roxas?"

She looked up saw Xion's relieved smile.

"Xion… what happened to me?"

"You were asleep for a long time," he started and crossed over to sit beside her. "Saix said there was no telling when you'd might wake up… but I'm glad you did."

"I kinda feel like a zombie though," she laughed a little and gasped some as he held out a shell to her. She took it in hand smiling.

"So you're the one leaving shells by my bed…"

"Mmmm, that's right. I've been picking one up on every mission. Hold it up to your ear." He suggested and pressed it to her ear. It felt good to touch her again, to see her awake, hear her voice. He watched her face as she closed her eyes and listened, watched the calm smile spread over those lips, and the urge to meet them push at his brain.

"I hear the waves… it's beautiful, Xion, thank you." She tucked the shell into her pocket and looked back out at the sun. "Too late for missions today… but I guess I'll be back on roster tomorrow."

"If it's too hard for you, I'm sure we can arrange for you to rest some more."

"No," She shook her head. "I don't want to just lay in bed… there's too much to think about in the quiet."

Xion nodded and scowled. His hands fisted over his black pants and he wished there was something he could do to give her back that spark of life Axel had taken away. He got up and stretched out a hand to her. She took it and let him guide her back, with her fingers curled possessively in his grip.

 _ **~Day 71~**_

Roxas found out that everyone at the castle had been destroyed. The pain in her chest continued to get worse the more she thought of it so she did her best to keep busy with missions. She had no partners now, left alone to deal with missions by herself. With half the Organization gone she doubted they were gonna leave her and Xion on training wheels.

For weeks she stuck to routine. Heartless, heartless, heartless… the more she destroyed, the more hearts she collected, the worse she felt. She didn't know the people these heartless used to be, didn't know what had driven them into darkness… but the freed hearts, the souls left behind… it all left a bunch of unanswered questions she no longer had someone to talk to about, and that just added to the already choking pain she was experiencing.

Xion was busy with his own missions to even show up for ice cream. Roxas was left by herself for the most part, and she didn't care for it. She'd become accustomed to having her friends around, of having that laughter and companionship. She wished, for just one day… she could be with them again.

Today's mission was relatively easy, some bubbles of dark energy had been spotted all across town and she was tasked with eliminating them. She had no problems searching around town and destroying them, and the fact that the mission was in Twilight Town made it easy to wrap things up here quickly and get ice cream straight afterwards.

She shot a fireball at the last blob and let her keyblade phase from her hand. She heard footsteps behind her… and the voice that spoke had her staring stunned speechless.

"Hey, Roxas, it's been awhile!"

Axel strolled up the long hill to her. He took a moment to assess her face. She'd gone pale and those big blue eyes were wide as saucers. He let himself laugh.

"What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Axel!" She rushed him and hugged him tight. Axel stumbled back, legitimately shocked at her actions.

"Whoa! Easy…"

"I heard… I had heard that everyone at Castle Oblivion had been annihilated!" She pulled back just enough to tilt her face up to his.

"Not me." He grinned and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm tough."

"You had me worried!" The first tear slipped down before she could stop it. Once again Axel look on shocked by this, and he gently cupped her cheek rubbing the tear away.

"Worry? We nobodies don't have the hearts to worry… you know?" He smiled at her, hoping to make those tears stop before they spilled over again. He hugged her again holding her close and just breathing in her scent. Damn he had missed her. "...but, I'm sorry anyway."

"Yeah…" She held on a moment longer before pulling back and letting that free smile spread. "I'll go buy us some ice cream!" She rushed off, the pain and choking sensation released from seeing him, and was replaced by sweet relief and happiness.

They made their way to the top of the clock tower and ate their ice cream slow as to enjoy each other's company as long as possible. Somewhere between the first bite and the second Axel laced his fingers between hers. The movement warmed her and made her smile.

"I missed you."

"Yeah? I told you I'd come back." Axel grinned.

"I know you did… but there's still this… ache whenever you go away. It's been really hard not having you here. When I thought you were gone… I cried."

"You… what?" Axel looked at her shocked. "That's not possible."

"Well I did… I don't know if it's as you and Saix said and I'm just getting memories of what my former self knows… but I don't have memories of my past like that. The only things I have are these sensations I get when I'm around you and Xion."

"Xion?"

"Oh yeah that's right. I started inviting Xion up here. He's my friend too!"

"He? I thought Xion was a girl." Axel let go of her hand long enough to scratch his temple. "I'll have to formally meet him. Still…" He took his free hand and turned her face to his and placed a firm full kiss on her lips.

"You know that your friendship with me is different than his, right? Its special… more intimate."

"Oh… okay… so you don't want him kissing me the way you do. Is that it?" She didn't know why that made her want to smile.

"That's exactly it. If he makes any kind of move on you. I want to know. We'll get along fine so long as that remains clear."

She nearly asked him if he was jealous… but the fact they were nobodies made that seem impossible. Then again everything she was "feeling" was supposed to be impossible.

"Okay. So what should I say if he asks why its different."

"Tell him its because I'm your first friend. And first friends have special privileges."

"Okay...but I'm pretty sure I'm his first friend so…" she laughed as Axel grabbed her by the waist and started tickling her. She laughed so hard her ribs hurt and she fell back on the stones with him panting breathlessly between giggles. "Okay… okay… I get it." She turned in towards him. "i'll tell him you're special to me, because you're the only one I want to be kissed by."

"That's perfect...say it just like that." He stroked her face then held her to him just laying with her in his arms.

"Axel… What are you doing?"

"Its something we special friends liken to call cuddling." He said simply.

"Oh okay…" she paused a moment stroking her hands up his back. "Hey Axel?"

"Hmmm… what?"

"I like cuddling."

 **~Day 72~**

Axel knew he would probably get a lecture for not checking in, but after the adventures in Castle Oblivion he hadn't been up to facing Saix or the Superior. While he had all what he wanted to say written down in his own journal and in the letters he would hand over to Saix, he decided to rerun what he'd seen over in his head.

Number 13, Roxas, the Keyblade's chosen one, was the nobody of Sora. In order to take over Organization 13… Luxiana and Larxene used the powers of the witch Namine to take a part Sora's memories and manipulate her into their puppet. Their plan failed, a combination effort of himself and the young keyblade wielder. All who had betrayed the organization had been eliminated, and the rest were obliterated by the second visitor in Castle Oblivion no one had expected… Riku.

Riku had heard Sora was in the castle, and had made his way up the winding castle, defeating whatever organization member stood in his way. Axel had made sure to steer clear of that one. There was something about Riku chilled his blood, but more he was too focused on Sora. His curiosity in her power and abilities had him looking too deep and seeing too much. Each time he was around her, he felt odd. It was the same with Roxas. He felt compelled to protect and shield them which wasn't in his job description.

He veered off in his thoughts when his door opened, and had to hide a groan when he saw Saix stroll in.

"Why didn't you report in?"

"What, not even one little word of appreciation?" Axel countered, avoiding answering his question,

"All I've heard is that Namine has gone missing."

"There one minute, gone the next. I don't know how she got out." That was half truth. He had an inkling on who was responsible for her disappearance… but seeing as he didn't want to be put in charge of finding her and opening that kettle he bent the truth.

"You know searching every room in that place is impossible." Axel continued when Saix probed further.

"Did you at least find the chamber?"

"Come on, I would have told you that much." The chamber in question was called the Chamber of Awakening. It was a room that held secrets and The Superior was keen on finding what lay hidden inside. Axel had wanted to find it, for his own curiosity of the contents… but for the weeks he was there all he found was room after room of the same white walls and broken memories.

"I gotta hand it to yah, about Luxiana being one of the traitors. You knew exactly what was up from the start."

"I merely sent away those who were getting in the way." Saix said coolly.

"Whoa," Axel whirled and tried to laugh it off. "Was I one of those ones you wanted to erase?"

Their eyes stared for a good few seconds… Saix's bitter and stern face didn't change expression, but something about the eyes pierced Axel making his stomach churn with nerves.

"Good to see you made it back safely." He turned away.

"I disposed of Zexion by the way." Axel admitted, he didn't like having that tension, so he eliminated it by giving Saix exactly what he wanted to hear. Saix had risen in the ranks thanks to the elimination of his superior members. He was getting closer to being more valuable to his lord and leader and would soon be seen as a very valuable asset. When Saix said nothing, and merely walked away Axel frowned and turned his back on the door again.

"I moved things along, just like you wanted." Yet there was no gratitude, no praise… he shouldn't expect or want such things since he was a nobody… but the lack of it annoyed him.

There wasn't much of a punishment as far as his lack of information was concerned. They sent him on a mission with Roxas as a "slap on the wrist," ha jokes on them as he actually liked working with her.

The mission was a simple heart collection that turned into a tailing of a suspicious character. The city of Agrabah itself had originally been closed in by sandstorms, but thanks to a secret passageway they were lead out safely into the desert where they then found a cave shaped like a lion's head.

As they explored the inside, Axel paid attention to Roxas and saw the progress she'd made in ability since he'd been gone. She seemed a lot more calm and focused than the curious girl he'd left behind. She was growing into a strong independent fighter, and he admired it. There was more to her change though… she seemed, happy, cheerful. He'd been attracted to the owlish eyed female he'd left behind, but this new girl, with the quick brilliant smile, and sparkle in her big baby blues… had him by the throat.

He found himself wanting to be closer to her, wanting to spend more and more time with her. The few measly hours they spent on the clocktower eating ice cream just wasn't enough. When they returned to the castle, he stirred restless in his bed and just couldn't find sleep… and hoping to solve the problem he went straight to the source. He opened the door peering inside. Roxas lay on her side facing the window still in her robes but had kicked her shoes off. Her toes wiggled freely and played with the tucked sheet on the end of the bed, and he found himself smiling.

"You awake or do you just fidget in your sleep?" He said softly but caught her attention. Her head jerked up and she looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes blinking sleepily.

"I don't fidget… i just like feeling the fabric on my toes."

"Right…" He saw the shells on the bed, frowned at them. "What're these?"

"Hmmm? Oh they're gifts from Xion. I told you how I'd passed out for several days."

A comment that had twisted his insides.

"Yes."

"Xion would visit me everyday and bring me one from a world he visited." She sat up and picked the last one up. She held it to her ear and closed her eyes hearing the ocean again. "I wonder why he hasn't been by to eat ice cream… I haven't seen him since that day I woke up."

Axel scowled and he picked up the shells setting them in a nice neat line on her desk rather than the bed.

"Since you were out of commission he's probably been working all your missions. He's probably too tired."

"I guess that's true… still I'm awake now… I can handle my own missions. He should be able to come."

"He'll come when he's ready… until then, I'm still here." He sat down beside her and tucked hair behind her ear. "That's good enough right?"

Roxas clutched the shell in her hand, the same sense of worry she'd felt for Axel she now felt for Xion. She looked into Axel's eyes, sighed and smiled. "Yeah… it is."

"Hey, c'mere." He pulled her into his arms and lay down with her on the bed. He stroked her hair and let their legs tangle together. "He's fine. If it helps, I'll help you track him down tomorrow to ease your mind, okay?"

"Promise?" She said sleepily, the soothing sensation of his hand on her hair helping her to drift off.

"I promise…" and this, Axel thought with a soft smile… was what he was missing. He closed his eyes, and easily found sleep himself.

 _ **This chapter took longer to put up than I expected because of some mistakes I made in previous chapters. I plan on smoothing out some plot holes in between the other chapters, but it should be smoother sailing now that I've got it more planned out in my head.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Identity Crisis**_


	7. Identity Crisis

**If We Had Hearts:** After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

 **Author's Note: I realized a little too late that I keep switching Marluxia and Luxiana's names. Marluxia is a girl in this series of stories, Ailuna is her true name and Luxiana is her nobody name. I will be making the necessary corrections in the story once I've posted this chapter. If you guys notice any other name mix-ups let me know so I can make the necessary corrections! Thanks!**.

 **Chapter 7:** _ **Identity Crisis**_

It had been ten days since Roxas had seen Xion. In fact it had been ten days since ANYONE had seen her. All anyone knew was that Xion was on a mission and hadn't returned. Axel promised her that he would help her find him, and he made good on his promise by setting up the arrangements for the two of them to go off hunting.

According to the mission records Xion was suppose to eliminate a heartless boss in Twilight Town. So they went out, searching through the town, eavesdropping on conversations, or speaking directly to the townsfolk. They kept their eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary, and found themselves running in circles to the point Roxas wanted to sit on her butt and pout.

On the bright note she finally learned the names of the three friends who were about the same age as her. She'd often find herself staring after them with a kind of wide eyed wonder, and it was because of them that her relationship with Axel had deepened, because she questioned, and grew in curiosity. Hayner, Pence, Olette, those were names she'd remember along with the those of the organization members.

Pence in particular was very helpful. He seemed to have a vast curiosity like she did, and often wandered the town in search of mysteries and wonders. The most recent wonder involving the forest just outside of town near the haunted Mansion. It was said that those that walked there could feel someone or something watching them despite the fact the entire area had been abandoned for years.

"Well it's worth looking into." Axel suggested and pat her shoulder.

It took some time to find the heartless in question. Using it's cloaking ability the chameleon-like creature hid amongst the trees and brush. Roxas' eyes narrowed, and her ears strained around trying to keep track of its movements.

She gasped as she felt the harsh breeze of something rush by her and heard it's footsteps rush out the forest toward the mansion on the outskirts.

"Hurry! Don't let it get away!" Axel told her and the two of them rushed side by side after it. Roxas released her keyblade and rushed straight into battle. The heartless came out of its cloaking form and lashed out at the two of them.

It's large body stretched out with feet and tail. The whipping strike of it knocking the wind out of her lungs. Roxas puffed out a breath and narrowly ducked the second strike of the heartless tail. She raised her blade ready to strike back… and then saw the cloaked figure rushing out from the forest.

"Xion!" Roxas called out. The boy's head snapped up their eyes meeting briefly before the heartless whipped its tail in his direction. The guy was sent skidding across the ground rolling until he lay still.

"Xion!" She cried out again ready to rush over to him.

"Roxas hold on! We gotta beat this thing first!" Axel jumped back setting his chakras ablaze.

"Oh! Right!" She raised her keyblade up again. Joining together the two of them managed to take down the oversized chameleon, Axel roasting the carcass and Roxas striking her blade true to release the heart. She watched it rise up and be swallowed by the black to be collected. With the job finished Roxas ran to her fallen friend. She knelt by him lifting his head up and patting his cheek.

"Xion! Xion wake up!" She shook him slightly making him groan and slowly opened his eyes. For a moment his features seemed to change. It caught her by the throat as that muscular build seemed to go thin and elegant like a female. Those blue eyes stayed as they were but his hair went long over the shoulders in curtains and his cheeks with sharp feminine cheekbones. She shook her head blinking in surprise but then saw him as she always had.

"Roxas?" Xion groaned and sat up rubbing his head.

"Are you hurt?" She helped him up so he stood over her now. Axel remained silent behind her simply staring with intense concentration.

"No, just my pride." He let out a pathetic laugh. "I failed the mission."

"No, the heartless is down, it doesn't matter who takes it out so long as it's done, right?" She hugged him briefly but long enough to have his body tensed up. "You're okay, and that's what counts."

"Roxas…" He lowered his head. "I don't know… if I'm really okay."

"Why? What happened Xion?"

Axel pat her shoulder pulling her back some.

"Easy… for now let's return to the castle. We'll report in and get ice cream then Xion can tell us the whole story."

 **~The Tower~**

Xion stared down at his melting ice cream. The blue treat didn't look as appealing as it had before. The past few days had been difficult and soured his mood. He glanced over at Roxas, watching her lick her treat and smile at Axel. Their closeness, and Roxas' happiness at being near Axel, left him feeling… alone.

"Xion?" Roxas waved a hand in front of his eyes snapping him from his angry thoughts. "Are you okay. What exactly happened? What's been going on with you lately?"

"I…" He grit his teeth and looked down at his melting ice cream. "I can't use the keyblade anymore."

"Huh?" Roxas stare stunned for a moment. " You can't use the Keyblade? Why not? What happened to you?"

"I don't know… but without it I can't do my job." Xion closed his eyes and gripped the stick of his ice cream tightly in hand. "Without the keyblade I defeat the heartless in one place and they just pop up in another. If I can't collect the hearts… I'll be useless."

Roxas' eyes went sad and sympathetic and she glanced back at Axel.

"Is there anything you can do, Axel?" She asked him, pleading with those big blue eyes.

"I wish there was… but it's just like she said." Axel started to point out and noticed the odd look on Roxas' face. "What?"

"She?" she looked back at Xion who remained stoic in the face "Aren't you a boy?"

"I think so." Xion shrugged. "What's the difference?"

"Huh?" Axel blinked then realized his mistake. "Oh… sorry it's a bit complicated. I'll explain it to you later. At any rate what Xion is saying is right. Without the keyblade he can't collect hearts. Once the superior and the others realize that, they're more than likely going to turn him into a dusk."

"We can't do anything to help?" Roxas held her stomach feeling it twist and wretch at the thought.

"Well, there's nothing I can do but-" Axel shifted his gaze to her and smiled. "There is something you can do for him, Roxas."

"Really?" Her eyes brightened. "What can I do?"

"You can work double duty… Xion, make sure your missions are with Roxas from now on. The two of you can go out on the mission together, he collects the hearts and no one will know that you can't use the keyblade."

"That's it!" Roxas jumped and hugged him her ice cream falling off the stick but she didn't care. "Axel you're a genius!"

"Whoa! Watch it…" Axel complained when he nearly lost ice cream too. "Don't get too excited now. Remember that doing double duty means you'll have to collect twice as many hearts."

"No worries, I can do it!" She turned to Xion who looked surprised and alarmed by this.

"Y-you sure?"

"Friends need to lean on each other now and again," Axel explained and wrapped an arm around Roxas. "Ain't that right, Roxie?"

"Yeah, just leave it to me. I'll take care of it until you can use the keyblade again."

"Friends… does that mean you and I are friends too, Axel?" Xion asked.

"Well yeah, If you're friends with Roxas…" He rubbed Roxas' shoulder gripping it a little possessively before letting go. "Then of course you're my friend."

Xion stared at the man, his blue eyes wide and his smile slowly spreading across his young handsome face. Axel blinked a little in surprise as the female he'd seen before began to blur and shift to the male form before going back to the female. Huh… interesting.

"Thank you, Roxas, Axel."

 **~Later at the Castle~**

"Double Duty huh?" Roxas sighed as her and Axel curled up for the night. "I guess I'll be working overtime for awhile."

"I'd like to go with you, but we can't have three people on a mission. Saix would never go for it. It's bad enough we had to chase after Xion today. Still we can meet up for Ice Cream when you're up to it, and we always have this." He stroked a hand down her hair and back.

"Yeah…" She smiled. "We do." She blushed a little and closed her eyes at the touch. "I wonder what the others would say to us about sharing a bed together."

"Saix might be perturbed by it, but I doubt the other would really care. They all prefer to keep to themselves." Then again… Axel mused. Luxiana and Vexen had been bed mates a time or two. That had been before their relationship soured. Axel referred to it as a relationship because no one else really seemed to be in agreement about what it should be called. Vexen called it an experiment, Luxiana called it a source of entertainment…and Saix called it a distraction. Which is exactly how he would term Axel's "relationship" with Roxas.

"At any rate, it's none of their business anyway what we do outside of our missions, right?"

"Right." She smiled up at him and snuggled in closer. "Mmmm… so how come you called Xion a she? You never explained that to me."

"Oh… well you see when I inquired about Xion, Saix said that he has a unique power that disguises his form. He appears differently depending on the person who's looking at him."

"So… whoever looks at him sees what they want to?" Roxas raised a curious brow.

"Not quite the right description but close enough. Xion's appearance is based on their relationship with him, and how they interact with him. I'm not entirely sure how it works in his case… I just know that when I saw him, it wasn't what you saw."

"What I see," Roxas narrowed her eyes a bit. "What I see is a boy. He's around the same age as me… black hair, blue eyes, shorter than you but taller than me. He seems… familiar somehow."

"Not surprising." Axel murmured letting his eyes droop and the rough day taking its toll.

"Hmmm… when you look at Xion...what do you see?" She lifted her head to stare into his sleepy face.

"I see…" He paused, his fingers running through her hair once. "I see you."

"Huh?" Roxas' eyes go wide. "Me?"

"Sort of… you look like twins… only she has black hair." He explained. He wouldn't point out that it was that black hair that also had him thinking of Sora. The three of them were all melded together in his brain.

"So you see a girl, that's why you call him a she." She sighed a bit remembering the few moments after the fight. "I think I saw it too for a moment… it was just a flash but I could see the female face and form. It didn't click that Xion and I look alike." She bit her lip thinking about that. "Hey what if… Axel?"

She lifted her head, and found he was asleep; his eyes closed and his hands still around her. She sighed again and tucked her tongue in her cheek.

"Guess I'll worry about it later." She closed her eyes and let herself fall to sleep… before she dreamed, she wondered what was this nasty tangle in her belly was… and why it appeared at the prospect of Xion… a female Xion... getting closer to Axel.

"Goodnight, Axel."

 **~Day 75~**

Roxas and Xion's first mission together was to the dessert city Agrabah. They not only had to collect hearts, but also fully explore the cave in which she and Axel had discovered before. While Xion couldn't use the keyblade, he was helpful with battles, eliminating the sudden plethora of heartless that decided to pop up out of nowhere.

The cave itself was massive, with all manner of hidden doors, secret latches, and treasure chests. For some reason Roxas felt as if theyt were being followed and occasionally looked over her shoulder trying to figure out where the sensation was coming from.

"You alright, Roxas?" Xion asked when she stopped suddenly.

"Y-Yeah, just can't seem to shake this inkling that someone's watching us." She shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to rid the spine tingling sensation. "Let's keep going."

"Alright… though I think we've been through the majority of the cavern already." He explained and examined a device on a wall. "Though everytime I think we're done… a new door opens."

The device shifted and started to turn and another gate opens and he laughs a bit.

"See what I mean?"

"Yeah, it may take some time to fully explore this place, but on the bright side there's plenty of heartless around, which means plenty of hearts to reach our quota." She stepped through the gate into a dark room.

"We reached our quote a hundred heartless ago, Roxas. I think you've swung your keyblade enough for both of us today. You're gonna tire yourself out. Remember it wasn't all that long ago you were on in a sick bed."

"Ah don't worry about me, I'm fine. I could do this all day!" She swung her blade around to prove it and gave him a wink. Xion laughed, and gasped touching his mouth.

"Whoa, where'd that come from?"

"You must be in a good mood." Roxas deduced.

"We don't have moods, Roxas," Xion reminded her. "We're-"

"Yeah, yeah I know, we're nobodies… man I'm so sick of hearing that. So what if we don't have hearts? So what if we're not real people? That's all going to change eventually. That's what we're here collecting hearts for, isn't it?. So why can't we act like we do have them, why can't we just… go with it?"

"Roxas…" Xion blinked in surprise at her tirade and Roxas sighed heavily holding her chest.

"Sorry… I don't know where that came from. I've been… off lately." She rubbed her stomach. She tensed a bit when she felt Xion's hand on her shoulder and she turned to face him.

"Don't apologize… You're not wrong, after all. These sensations you're getting… I've been getting them too. I don't know how to explain it, and for the most part I've just been ignoring them, because it's just easier to deal with it that way… but I know when I'm around you, and now Axel, the sensations get stronger, and I don't think I can just ignore them anymore."

"You're right." She smiled softly. "I'm the same… and I think that's why I snapped just not. The reason I've been off is because I keep trying to control what's inside me, instead of just letting it out. From now on I'm just going to act like I do have a heart, I'm going to watch all the people and learn from them. Maybe that's the real key to getting hearts of our own."

"If you think it'll work, then I say we try it. In fact there's something I've been wanting to try." Xion held up a pinky and Roxas raised a brow at it. "I saw those kids in Twilight Town do this. They called it a pinky promise." He hooked his pinky around hers… for a moment Roxas saw Xion change again, a girl again and a smile as warm as the sun and eyes crystal blue.

"Oh uh… what's it for?" She stared at their linked pinkies with a small blush.

"From what I understand, it's a pact. You promise each other something, and the linked pinkies is how you signify it."

"Oh… okay… well then I promise I'll help you learn to use the keyblade again. I promise I won't let you turn into a dusk!"

"Alright… and I promise to work hard and not slow you down." He paused and looked into her eyes, saw the wide curious gaze in them. "I promise to always be your friend."

"Huh?" Her eyes went a bit wide at that and then softened with a smile. "I promise that too… we'll always be friends."

 **~Later~**

After finishing the mission and having ice cream Roxas went back to her room. She thought of everything she went through and wrote it down in her journal. For a moment she paused and lifted up her pinky. She replayed the conversation she'd had with Axel and Xion… about Best friends… and what it meant to be inseparable.

"We're friends… but what makes someone a best friend I wonder." She pulled her legs up to her chest still staring at the pinky. "Being close… even when you're far a part… what's the link that holds best friends together?"

" _So long as they think about me from time to time… then our hearts will be one."_

Roxas gasped and her hands dropped to her side and she clutched her felt a pounding there, painful and sharp and continued to hear the echoes of that voice.

" _My friends are my power!"_

Roxas rolled onto her side holding her head, panting and shuddering as the pain started to increase… but as quickly as it came it quickly subsided. She took long deep breaths, a sheen of sweat forming on her skin and she slowly released her head, shaking like a leaf.

"W-What… what was that?"

 **~Castle Oblivion~**

Namine stared up at Sora as she floated in the glass bubble. Her eyes sad and worried for the girl. She hoped she could piece together the memories quickly… the sooner Sora was back to her normal self again, the better off they all would be.

"How long will it take?"

Namine turned at the voice and looked to Riku who stood in his new black hood that allowed him to travel through doorways of darkness without damage to his body. His choice to straddle the lanes between had given him a new confidence in his ability, and allowed him to forge a new path for himself.

"I'm not entirely sure. Really it all depends on Sora." She turned her eyes up to the girl once more. "Sora… and those who hold pieces of her. She's incomplete, not just because of her disconnected memories… but because of the other fragments of her who wander the worlds with their own purposes."

"Sora's nobody…" Riku deduced and got a nod from Namine.

"I'm going to piece together the parts that I have… but without Roxas, Sora cannot be complete. When the time comes, she'll either have to succumb to her willingly… or be destroyed."

"Diz told you this?"

"Yes… and I know which way Sora would prefer. She has a gentle and welcoming heart. I only hope Roxas can remember enough of her to see that… and accept it." She turned to Riku now her eyes full of sadness. "We nobodies were never meant to exist… but that doesn't stop us from trying. When the time comes Riku, Sora may need your help to be complete."

"When the time comes." Riku formed his blade in hand and lifted it up to eye level. "I'll be there for her."

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 **Briry: *Hiding in Fox Hole waiting for the barrage of angry fans* I know, I know, I took a long time to update… but I promise I'll be more frequent with the KH chapters. Next on my list is "If it Never Happened" and I'll be working on both simultaneously from here on out.**

 **Next Chapter: Experimental Play**


	8. Experimental Play

**If We Had Hearts:** After Sora had selflessly sacrificed herself for Kairi and became a heartless, a nobody was created. Solitary, wandering, not sure how she became or where to go her Nobody walked the streets of Twilight Town only to be found by the Leader of Organization XIII. He gave her a purpose, he gave her a name: Roxas.

 **Author's Note: I realized a little too late that I keep switching Marluxia and Luxiana's names. Marluxia is a girl in this series of stories, Ailuna is her true name and Luxiana is her nobody name. I will be making the necessary corrections in the story once I've posted this chapter. If you guys notice any other name mix-ups let me know so I can make the necessary corrections! Thanks!**.

 **Chapter 8: Experimental Play**

Kingdom Hearts…

The great big heart shaped moon in the sky was awed by everyone in the organization. Even though Roxas and Xion didn't understand why, the importance of this phenomenon was all too apparent. They were the keys to Kingdom Hearts, the driving force that collected the source of power needed to complete it.

...except Xion couldn't use his keyblade.

Mission after Mission the two of them went out together. Roxas defeated the heartless, collecting twice the amount of hearts she'd done before. Xion was helpful with crowd control. When it seemed like she was surrounded or the heartless too powerful, the two worked together to defeat the large masses that would suddenly pop up out of nowhere. Still without his keyblade Xion could do little to help the progress of the mission.

"I feel so useless…" Xion sighed staring down at his hands. "You're working so hard, Roxas, but I-"

"Don't get yourself down, Xion. You just need to keep trying. Here." She crossed to him letting her blade form in her hand. Stepping behind him she put the blade in his hand and forced him to grip it tight. "Get the feel of it again… grip it tight and close your eyes. Remember what it was like, remember the sensation of the power flowing through you."

Xion blushed bright red, his hand gripping tight, but when he closed his eyes all he could feel was Roxas pressed up on him, warm and… inviting.

"R-Roxas…"

"Hmm?" She let go and the blade faded. She walked around to face him fully. "You okay, Xion?"

"Y-Yeah… our mission is done let's RTC and go see Axel." He cleared his throat and hurried to the warp gate. Her brow rose a little but she followed him anyway. By the time they got to Twilight Town Axel was already there waiting for them. Roxas took her spot in the middle, her hand brushing Axel's as they sat close together. Xion scooted a little closer and took the ice cream he was offered.

"Thanks."

"Any progress?" Axel asked the two.

"Not really… and I can tell Saix is getting impatient with us." Xion sighed. "We won't be able to keep up the charade much longer. Both Saix and the superior look anxious to complete our objective."

"All this fighting…" Roxas sighed heavily. Something about the past few days left her weary. "I wonder what it's for."

"Come one, you know what it's for. We have to complete the great Kingdom Hearts." Axel answered.

"Kingdom Hearts…" Roxas said with a frown. "Just what is it?"

"It's the gathering place of hearts isn't it?" Xion affirmed.

"Yeah, it's where the hearts go when you release them." Axel continued the explanation. "When we collect enough, we might finally get hearts of our own."

"Hearts shall be made our own…" Xion repeated the Superior's words. Roxas scowled down at her ice cream.

"Is Kingdom Hearts… really that important?"

"What are you crazy?" Axel looked at her surprised.

"I just… I just don't see why having a heart is really that important." What was the difference, she wondered to herself. She looked down at the kids below running and playing. What made her any different then them?

"You're questioning that now?"

"I don't understand, because I don't have a heart." She bit into her ice cream and sighed heavily.

"Roxas…" Xion shared a look of concern with Axel, the two of them both worried where this line of thinking would get her.

"We'll find out once we have hearts." Axel stroked her back earning a soft smile. "That's why we fight, to find out what it's all about."

"Okay…" She nodded. "I guess you're right."

The sun finished setting and the three of them returned to the castle. Roxas and Axel went to his room and lay down on the bed curling up together. Axel stroked fingers through her hair. She was awfully quiet today… and what she'd brought up at the tower was disconcerting.

"Something happen I should know about?" He asked her.

"Hmmm?" She lifted her head up.

"You've been acting a little strange since the Superior brought us all together for the revealing of Kingdom Hearts. Then you said all that stuff atop the tower today." He caressed her cheek now. "I'm just wondering, is all."

"I'm not entirely sure… everytime I think about Kingdom Hearts there's this…" She sat up and pushed a fist into her gut. "Ache right here… kinda makes me want to throw up."

"Well that can't be good." He sat up with her.

"I don't understand, Axel. What makes us so different from those with hearts? We can do everything they can… but we just don't have the hearts. What are hearts for?"

"I don't have all the answers for you, Roxas. I wish I did. The whole reason the organization even exists is to explore the mysteries of the heart."

"So when we do have hearts… what then? What happens when the organization completes their mission? What'll happen to us?" She let him pull her back to him. She tucked her head comfortingly under his chin and closed her eyes. "I don't… have anywhere else to go. You and Xion...this castle… my missions… they're all I have."

"I don't know what'll happen once we do have hearts… but I promise you this." He pulled back and cupped her face. "No matter what happens, you'll always have me. I won't leave you hanging."

"Axel…" Her eyes went wet and her smile was soft and appreciative. "You promise?"

"I promise… I'll always be here for you." He kissed her sweet and soft and she slipped right into the comfort of it.

 **~Day 95~**

The day's mission in Agrabah had gone smoothly. The three friends gathered together on the tower once more and the topic of the varying personalities of the organization's members came up.

"It looks like everyone in the organization is good at different things…" Roxas leaned back on her hands kicking her feet back and forth. She'd devoured today's ice cream, and now just relaxed between her two close friends.

"That's right, everybody's unique." Axel nodded biting into the last bit of his ice cream.

"Even nobodies without hearts?" Xion questioned.

"Yep.. just because we don't have hearts, doesn't mean we're all exactly the same. Take you for example Xion. You're unique because of your ambiguity. Your appearance, and voice differs depending on who you're communicating with."

"I guess so, though that part still confuses me. I only ever see one face when I look in the mirror." Xion told them.

"That's because you're looking at yourself, and seeing what you want. It's the same concept to everyone else."

"So then… how do you see me, Axel?"

"He sees a girl…" Roxas said with a laugh. "Apparently to him we look like twins."

"Twins?" He looked Roxas up and down… and for a moment Roxas saw the form change… the male form softening and filling out to female and the hair growing longer and flowing black and curly down her back. Roxas felt a bit of unease at the sight and quickly looked back to Axel.

"I wonder why we're all so different. The dusks all seem to have similar forms and powers but we don't." Roxas wondered.

"The member of the organization are different then the dusks and other normal nobodies. We all have memories of our past." Axel explained tapping his temple. "It's what makes us special. We remember what we were like when we were human."

"...but…" Roxas sat up straight looking a bit sad. "I don't."

"Me neither…" Xion agreed.

"Maybe that's what makes you the most unique in the organization." Axel commented meaning it to be more of a tease than a serious comment.

"Hmmm…" Roxas pouted… but then curiosity got the better of her. She glanced up at Axel. "What were you like before you were a nobody?"

"Me?" Surprised by the question Axel rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I suppose I've always been pretty much the same."

"I wish I could remember stuff like that… the only inkling I have are these… sensations I get when I'm around you guys. At least that's what Saix says. I'm feeling all these emotions not because I have a heart… but because I remember what my heart would feel. It sounds so… complicated."

"I get those sensations too…" Xion agreed. "It's always when I'm with you two. I like it, even if I don't understand it." His eyes traveled up to Axel. "Do you feel that way too, Axel?"

"Let's not get into that. Let's just enjoy the time we have together, alright?"

"Oh well now you've got me curious." She teased.

"Curiosity killed the cat, Roxie. Better stick to defeating heartless than asking all these questions." He warned.

"I know but…" Her face went serious. "I honestly want to remember more. I don't have any memories, even from when I was born a nobody."

"All you did was stare into space." Axel teased and Roxas nudged him with her elbow.

"Oh thanks!" She laughed when Axel ruffled her hair. Xion laughed too and pat Roxas' shoulder.

"Don't feel too bad, Roxas… I don't remember much of my past either." Xion put in.

"You two sure do have a lot in common." Axel said with some irritation. Why their commonality irritated him he wasn't entirely sure. Deciding he didn't want to think too much on it he stood up. "Come on, let's head back." He walked away. Xion helped Roxas up and the two of them followed behind him.

"Now I'm the one that's curious…" Xion decided with a small laugh. "Do you think he feels the same way we do."

"I don't have to think…" Roxas said with a gentle smile. She stared at Axel's strong back, and watched every little movement of his body as if to memorize it. "I know he does."

 **~Day 96~**

The jig was up… Roxas wasn't sure if Saix had caught on or if he really was trying to pass out multiple missions, but today he wanted her and Xion separated. Though their protested the guy remained unmoving… until Axel had stuck his neck out.

"You're not gonna send Roxas by herself to Beast's Castle, are you? I was just there yesterday, I saw the heartless and question and I doubt she can handle it alone. You're better off sending both of them."

"If I do that then who's going to handle the heartless in Agrabah?" Saix complained narrowing his eyes on Axel's smirk.

"I will!" Axel beat a fist on his chest. "I'll keep things from going haywire while the two of them take on Beast's Castle, and then Roxas can complete the mission tomorrow."

"Hmmph… very well. Be warned though, this is your last mission together. From here on out the two of you will be working separately." He told them then allowed them into the portal. He then looked to Axel. "Don't think for a minute that little I believed that."

"Believed what?" Axel asked innocently.

"That reprehensible performance…" he said with a growl.

"I don't know what you mean." Axel laughed and shrugged it off. "Whelp, I better get going to Agrabah." He opened the portal himself and exited.

 **~Beast's Castle~**

"Looks like we owe Axel one…" Roxas commented as they stepped out of the portal and into the dungeons of the castle. She glanced back at Xion who sighed heavily. "You okay?"

"I just… I don't know what I'm gonna do starting tomorrow." He looked at his hand trying to get the keyblade to appear but shook his head. "It's no use."

"Don't give up, Xion… here." She let her keyblade form. "Try and use mine… You held it alright before, so maybe if you remember how to wield it like this it'll help you remember."

"Alright…" Xion eyed the blade in his hand swinging it around smoothly. "...but what are you gonna use?"

"Oh I'll be fine…" Roxas looked around for a weapon and found a big sturdy stick and waved it around. "I'll just improvise."

"Roxas…" Xion said trying to stifle a laugh. "That's a stick."

"Hey," with some sass she cocked a hip out holding the stick out to him. "You've managed without the keyblade this far, you don't think I'm up to it?"

Xion couldn't help it. He laughed and shook his head.

"Far be it from me to stop you. Alright… let's find this heartless!" he held up the blade in both hands and took a deep long breath. He would remember… he had to remember, for both of their sakes.

They explored the castle grounds.. Sneaking past the servants and defeating the smaller heartless as they went along. Despite Roxas only having a stick for a weapon she managed to beat back a good chunk of the enemies. It helped that they both had magics they could use to eliminate the more troublesome heartless.

He had to admit, feeling the keyblade in his hand, fighting with it… was helping him get into the feel of the fight. He hadn't held a keyblade in so long that he worried he'd lose his edge… but the abilities and skills he'd picked up before came rushing back to him with ease.

As they walked into the ballroom their target appeared. The large dog shaped heartless barking and snarling threateningly at them.

"Here we go… you ready?" Roxas held the stick her eyes set.

"Yeah, let's do this!" Xion rushed forward. The blade beat back the beastly creature and the power inside him grew. He was remembering, he could actually feel the power in him returning. It was working!

" _You're finally here Sora…"_

The voice, and memory rushed through Xion so fast he had to gasp. He miscalculated and the beast sent him flying across the ballroom floor. Roxas' keyblade fell out of his hands and skidded across the floor to her.

"XION!" Roxas picked up the blade to rush in to help but she was too far away. The heartless leapt up to attack him. "LOOK OUT!"

Xion looked up… fear came first but then determination took over.

" _I need to take back what belongs to me! Let the keyblade choose… ITS TRUE MASTER!"_

He held out his hand calling forth the power… and his blade reappeared. As the heartless leapt on him he slice his blade clean through its body and released the heart from the vanishing mass of darkness.

"Xion!" Roxas rushed forward and leapt up wrapping her arms around him. "You did it! You've got your keyblade back!"

"Y-yeah… I did." He panted a bit looking at his blade then down at the girl hugging him tight. For a minute he forgot who he was, what he was doing. Then he held out the keyblade behind her back and remembered. "I remember."

"I'm so glad! Now things can go back to normal!" She lifted her head up smiling. "You don't have to worry anymore."

"I don't…" He let the blade fade and stepped into Roxas once more hugging her tightly. "I don't have to worry. Thank you, Roxas."

"Hehe, You're welcome." She closed her eyes. "I'm just happy you're back to normal."

"Yeah…" His eyes went distant a moment as another memory flashed. He saw a man, silver hair, cerulean eyes, and a wicked smile. His head bent down to kiss the girl, and collect his reward.

" _You did well to protect yourself Sora… now you just leave everything to me."_

"Roxas…"

"Yeah?" Roxas tilted her face up and found herself being kissed. Her eyes went wide and her body still. For a moment she too felt herself remembering.

 _I love you… Sora._

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she stepped back from the kiss holding her chest as it ached and throbbed. She felt herself getting dizzy, felt her face go hot and she did the only thing that came to mind.

She ran away.

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: Yay! Another chapter done! *booty wiggle* I hope you all like the drama! I can't wait to hear your comments and opinions on this chapter!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Ignorance is Bliss**_


	9. Ignorance is Bliss

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Chapter 9: Ignorance is Bliss**

For the first time since they'd started the tradition Roxas didn't come to the clock tower for ice cream. Xion immediately went there hoping to talk about what had happened… but he only found Axel waiting. The red head glanced up looking irritated.

"Hey… how did it go?"

"I… I got my keyblade back… but I'm pretty sure I upset Roxas." He admitted taking his usual spot and sighing heavily.

"That explains why she isn't here…" Axel though and lounged back. "Wanna tell me what happened? Maybe I can smooth things between you two."

"I'm not entirely sure what happened. After we beat the heartless I started seeing images in my head. I think they were memories from my human life. It all felt so familiar… and there was a name that brought on this sensation of… oh I know that name."

"Hmmm? What name is that?"

"Sora…" Xion didn't look up so he didn't see the surprise on Axel's face. "... in the memory, I kissed a girl named Sora."

"What?" the shock in Axel's voice was apparent. "You sure about that?"

"Yes… and after I saw that memory I looked down at Roxas… for some reason I couldn't control my actions. I kissed her."

"You WHAT!?" Axel sat up and snagged him by the cloak. "Just what the hell were you thinking?"

"That's just it…" Xion grabbed Axel by the wrists. "I don't know. It hit me out of the blue and afterward Roxas ran away from me so I… I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I'm really sorry."

"Tch... " he shoved Xion away from him. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. Roxas will forgive you...but give her some time... think it through. I'm pretty sure she's just as confused as you so you both need space right now."

Liar...Axel told himself. You just don't want him anywhere near Roxas right now.

"Here…" He shoved the ice cream at Xion. "I'm heading back for a long shower. I got my butt kicked in Agrabah thanks to you two." He stood and started walking back.

"Thanks...you gonna stay mad at me?" Xion questioned, halting Axel's movements.

""I'm not mad, I can't be mad or I'm not supposed….gahhhh forget it Roxas is right. Yeah I'm angry, but like you said it wasn't entirely in your control...but be warned. I call dibs." He jerked a thumb to his chest and Xion's brow rose.

"Dibs? On Roxas?"

"That's right… no making moves on my girl unless she says otherwise. Agreed?"

His girl? Why did that phrasing just make Xion angry?

"So if she kisses me it's okay? Good to know." Xion turned his back to Axel and munch in his ice cream."

"That's not what I...oh forget it." He walked off. He'd have better luck with Roxas he we sure.

 **~Roxas~**

 _Sora…_

 _I love you…_

Who knew that just a few words could mess up her mind so badly. Roxas had never been so confused or conflicted before. It didn't matter if Xion had instigated it, the two of them kissed each other. Roxas had promised Axel he would be the only one she'd kiss. He'd been the only one she'd ever wanted to kiss.

Yet when it happened, when Xion leaned in she hadn't been able to pull away. She'd been trapped by the deja vu, caught in memories and emotions that weren't really her own.

"Who's Sora?" That question plagued her the most. "Why do I know that name?"

There knock on her door made her tense up and she was tempted to yell at them to go away.

"Who is it?"

"Roxy it's me."

"Axel!" Oh thank goodness! Axel would be able to answer her questions she was sure. She flung open the door and leapt into his arms. Axel stumbled back some and looked around flustered.

"Whoa, Roxas you crazy what if someone sees?" Axel carried her into the room flustered. "Saix will give us grief if he sees…"

"Axel… Xion kissed me." She confessed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I said I wouldn't kiss anyone else but…"

"I know… Xion told me it's why I'm here. It's okay Roxas I'm not blaming you." He stroked her hair. "He caught you off guard."

"Mmmm Axel...I need to ask you a question." She murmured into his neck holding on even tighter.

"Okay… you gonna let go of me?" Not that he was complaining...but he wanted to see her face. She obliged, her eyes wet and bottom lip trembling. The sight of it had his breath trapping in his lungs.

"Can you tell me...what love is?"

"What?" His voice squeaked out. "Why do you wanna know something like that?"

"I...when Xion kissed me... I heard this voice in my head. It said "I love you." I think it was a memory because I could feel or remember all these emotions just filling me up inside. My chest tightened, I couldn't breathe...it was frightening and exciting and... painful."

Axel's eyes narrowed and he took her shoulders again rubbing them.

"Love is complicated like that. I've never experienced it myself but...I hear it can bring you the greatest joy and the worst pain imaginable. Love is… well…" he let go and nervously rubbed his neck. "It happens when two people really care about each other. When you're together it's fun and exciting, when you're apart it's painful and depressing. You know you're in love when you can't imagine your life without them."

Roxas' eyes were so wide and expressive. Just watching her react, seeing the change in them made him nervous and a bit flushed from his own explanation.

"Is any of this sinking in?"

"Yeah, it is." Roxas took a slow deep breath. Realization had hit her and it was startling. "So...say you're in love with someone...what do you do together?"

"Well… For adults the traditional thing is they stay together, get married, have kids, live long and happy lives etc…" Axel explained waving his hands around as he started listing things off.

"Married? What do you mean get married?"

"Ah its…" Axel rubbed the back of his neck. "It's where you make a life long promise to be together."

"Okay, how come you need to be an adult to do that?"

"Because marriage means…" Axel shook his head and hands trying to shake away all the perverted images in his mind. "Look Roxas…" He sat her down on the bed. "Why do you want to know all this? Even if you are starting to remember stuff like love and other feelings it's all just baggage. It's got nothing to do with you now."

"I'd still like to know...especially since I'm pretty sure I love you Axel."

Axel had been about to sit beside her but her words had him missing the bed and falling on his ass.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Wait what?!" Axel stumbled to his feet, eyes wide in disbelief. "What are you talking about? We're-" he started to bring up the fact they were nobodies but she quickly cut him off.

"Everything you said just now about love...all of it applies to you Axel. It's fun to be around you, it's painful when you leave." She held her chest remembering when he'd left for castle oblivion, ad when she believed he'd been dead. She'd nearly gone back to being a zombie without him. "I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to."

Axel let out a slow breath trying to calm himself. He looked down at Roxas' serious face and started feeling flutters of his own.

"You're serious…"

"Yes…" Her quick smile had those flutters increasing. Axel couldn't contain himself. Roxas' next words were cut off with a kiss. He cupped her face stroking her cheeks with his thumbs and just letting himself indulge in the moment. He heard her give a little sound of pleasure and his lips slowly curved in response.

"Now that you've said it…" He said after the kiss broke. "You can't take it back. It's a rule."

"Axel…" Her eyes lit up and her fingers curled into the fabric of his cloak.

"This makes us more than friends now." He sat beside her again and curled her into his arms. "It makes us boyfriend and girlfriend. I think the politically correct term is lovers, but we may not be ready for that stage yet."

"Hmmm? What stage is that?" She asked curiously.

"The marriage, and making babies stage… we'll need to wait a few years when you're a bit more grown up. By then we'll have hearts of our own and can do everything normal couples do."

"What do you mean til I'm grown up?" Roxas pouted.

"That right there. You're too cute." He grinned and poked her cheeks. She smacked his hands away making him laugh. "Just trust me Roxy… when we have hearts you'll understand."

"Why is having a heart such a big deal… I just don't get it. We're experiencing all these wonderful things without them so why is a heart really needed?" She curled into his arms burying her face in his chest again. "I don't understand."

"We've been over this Roxas. The whole point is we don't understand. It's why we're working so hard to build Kingdom Hearts, to help us understand."

"Maybe… but I don't think we need hearts. So long as I have you, and Xion in my life that would be enough for me." She closed her eyes and cuddled in close. "I don't need anything else."

Axel frowned. If Xemnas or any of the other organization members knew that it could cause trouble. Still he couldn't help but agree. He stroked her hair and lay with her.

"First you'll need to patch things up with Xion. Take some time and figure out what you wanna say to him. If he's important to you, you can't just keep ignoring him."

He felt her tense up but she nodded.

"Yeah… you're right…"

 **~Several days later~**

Roxas took her time approaching Xion… despite her talk with Axel she just didn't feel comfortable around him. She completed missions on her own and would go straight to bed afterward. Still the annoying pit in her stomach wouldn't go away, and she knew she'd probably have this bad feeling until she confronted him.

After her mission was complete she went to the tower and saw Xion sitting alone looking miserable. The pit in her gut got heavier and she lowered her head shamefully before approaching him.

"Xion…"

"Roxas!" Xion's head jerked up and he stood. "You're here!"

"Yeah… I'm sorry Xion. I shouldn't have been avoiding you but… I wasn't sure how to approach you, or how to go about all this."

"No, please, don't apologize Roxas." He took her hands in his and held them firmly to make sure she wouldn't pull away. "I'm the one who should apologize. I don't know what happened, or how to explain it."

"I know," Roxas took a deep breath and stared up. "Can we… go someplace else and talk about this? If Axel comes I don't want him making any comments. I need to get this all off my chest."

"Yeah, sure… let's take a walk into town." He offered and the two of them walked down to the main level and headed down the streets. The group of kids, Hayner, Pence, and Olette ran by them and Roxas gave them a brief glance before turning her attention back to the task at hand.

"So… Axel told me you think we're connected by our memories."

"That's my theory… I was having these visions… and I heard voices that were familiar but I'd never heard them before. You had them too didn't you? That's why you ran away?" Xion asked and got a nod from Roxas.

"Yeah… but I'm not entirely sure who I was in those visions, or where I'd heard them before. I couldn't really picture a face, or even recall a name but I heard a boy's voice. Next thing i know I had this overwhelming sensation… all sorts of feelings… or recollections of feelings... just building up inside me, making my chest hurt and for a moment I couldn't even breathe. It was scary and my body just told me to run."

"I guess I felt the same way… i had the same pain in my chest… but at the same time there was a sense of completion in what I'd done. It was as if I'd unlocked a door and saw what was inside, but I wasn't entirely satisfied with the contents." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be… I really don't think we were meant to do that Xion. W emay have known each other in our past lives and that's why we're connected, but I don't think kissing is something we were ever meant to do."

"I don't think so… I know we have a connection, Roxas. I could tell from the memories." Xion stopped and turned to her. "It could be we used to be like you and Axel in our previous lives. Maybe the real reason I wasn't satisfied is because we're not who we used to be, we don't have hearts and don't understand the differences. I liked kissing you, Roxas."

"It wasn't as if I didn't like kissing you too… it was interesting and it made me remember things and emotions I don't think I would have otherwise. Still I don't want to kiss anyone but Axel. He..." She wasn't sure she could explain love to Xion correctly so she improvised. "He's special to me."

"I see…" Xion lowered his head. He wasn't sure why that statement made him uncomfortable. "If that's the case...then what am I to you, Roxas?"

"A friend," she said immediately and took Xion by the hands gripping them tight. "You're my best friend."

Xion's eyes softened and the weight on his chest began to lift as the image in his mind got clearer. He could see more faces, feel more emotions… a setting sun, a calm ocean, and hear the laughter of a girl. His lips curved into a smile.

"Your best friend… I'm your best friend and you are mine."

Xion's male form wavered… and gave way to the female. Roxas' eyes went wide with surprise as she watched the handsome boy go sweet and soft in the face face. His black hair shortening and eyes rounded and blue as her own. Was this the form Axel saw? Was this cute girl the real Xion?

"Okay…" the voice that paired with it brought on a new sense of nostalgia to Roxas. "I'm more than happy with that. So long as we can be together, right?"

"Y-Yeah!" Roxas smiled and hugged the female now in a tight embrace. "Thanks Xion!"

"No, thank you Roxas...you've helped me understand myself...and I think I'm finally getting a picture of who I was and who I am. We're connected by our memories. It's why we have so much in common and it's that connection that makes us such good friends."

Roxas felt the weight from her own chest lift and her smile went bright.

"Great… now that that's settled let's go get ice cream and meet up with Axel. We can tell him the good news."

Xion nodded and the two girls rushed off side by side. When they returned to the clock tower with Axel waiting Xion got another strong sense of Deja Vu. She looked out at the setting sun, and could hear waves. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the shell she'd collected after the day's mission.

 _Don't forget no matter where you two go, I'll always be with you. We're friends no matter what._

"mmhmmm…" Xion murmured and clasped the shell tightly in hand. " Best of friends"

"Did you say something Xion?" Roxas glanced up and pat the spot next to her. Xion pocketed the shell and sat down.

"No," she shook her head. "Just thinking out loud."

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: I may have rushed this chapter a bit because I've been behind schedule due to kittens and babies and things but I'm on vacation so I'll have more time to write! YAY!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: The Twilight Town Trio**_


	10. The Twilight Trio

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Author's Note: I want to address the questions about Xion's gender. I knew Xion's appearance would cause some confusion so I'll do my best to explain. To put it simply Xion has no set gender, it's flexible based on who is looking at him/her. For Roxas, Xion's appearance changes depending on their relationship. Xion's initial appearance resembled Riku because of the possible romantic connection Xion and Roxas had… but now that Roxas has clarified that Xion is only a friend her appearance is similar to that of Kairi's just like in the original game. This is the same for anyone else looking at them such as Axel seeing Roxas and Xigbar seeing Ven.**

 **Hope that cleared a few things up! Now enjoy the fic!**

 **Chapter 10: The Twilight Town Trio**

 **~Day 118~**

Vacation…

Roxas had never heard of this word before. Apparently it was a day with no missions and you could spend your time however you want. Axel was taking a nap, Xion was training, and the other organization members busied themselves with whatever suited them. This left Roxas with nothing to do and a puzzle to figure out.

How did she want to spend her free time?

She could go nap with Axel, the thought of curling up with him sounded pleasant but she was too restless to sleep. She could work on her abilities and train with Xion, but the thought of spending all day in the simulation room didn't really sound inviting. So what did she really want?

"Ice Cream…" Roxas clarified with a smile and jogged to the mission room. It had been awhile since she'd created her own portal but the sensation of it came back to her quickly enough. She stepped into the dark, walking the path until the light of Twilight Town welcomed her. She looked around the familiar town smiling and strolled calmly across the path.

She had come to this town often on missions, but had never really taken the chance to admire it, and really examine it. She paid special attention to the shops and windows and paused in front of the clothing store. She pressed her face to the window the accessories catching her eye.

"We have a sale going on right now…" the shopkeeper told her with a smile. "Everything in the window is fifty percent off. See anything you like?"

"Well…" she tapped the glass and pointed. "I like that checkered thing."

"interesting choice…" he motioned her inside and pulled the band and rings out of the box. "This is the last one I have, it wasn't a very popular item because it doesn't really enhance abilities so I only made a few. Still the design is quite interesting if I do say so myself and I think it would suit you. That's 50 munny for the full set."

"That's all?" Surprised by the cheap price tag Roxas handed over the munny and took the item. "Thank You."

"I have an outfit that would be a perfect match for it." He motioned to the manican. Roxas eyed the simple tan skirt with a slight blush but admired the checkered print along the stitching of the white vest jacket, and black zipper top. The zipper medallion had an interesting four point shape and reminded Roxas of Axel's chakras. She smiled and touched her chest thinking… yes she wanted this… but when would she really be able to wear it?

After a long debate with herself Roxas walked out of the shop clutching the bag to her chest and closing her eyes. It was the first time she'd ever bought something besides ice cream and synthesis items. It made her… giddy.

"I… think I like shopping." Caught up in her thoughts and surprising euphoria Roxas walked out onto the sandlot not paying attention.

"Hey look out!"

Roxas looked up and let out a yelp as a ball hit her in the face and she stumbled back dropping her new clothes and landing on her butt.

"Ow…" she rubbed her nose and looked up at the people who ran up to her. She recognized them as the trio she'd seen running around all the time… Pence in particular.

"Hey, are you alright?" Pence asked holding out a hand for hers.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She took it and stood up brushing herself off. "Thanks."

"No problem, been awhile since I've seen you in town. Did you ever find your friend?"

"Hmmm? Oh! Yes, I did. Thank you for helping me. You were a big help." she have him a soft smile before looking at the others.

"Is she a friend of yours Pence?" Olette asked curiously.

"Yeah I bumped into her a little while back." Pence explained as Roxas picked up her items from the ground. Olette crouched down helping her gather the scattered items and dust them off before handing her the bag.

"Here you go. My name's Olette, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too." Roxas smiled then glanced over her shoulder at Hayner. "What are you guys doing?"

"Practicing." Hayner said irritability. "I would have broken my record too if you hadn't distracted me."

"Um...I'm sorry?" Roxas raised a brow wondering if that was the proper response.

"Ah don't mind him, he's just grumpy because Seifer broke his grandstand record." Pence explained.

"Grandstand?" Roxas eye the ball.

"Yeah, you hit the ball up in the air and keep it from touching the ground. Hayner is one of the best in town."

"Wow…" Roxas' face split into a smile that had Hayner blushing. "Impressive."

"Ah it's no big deal. Even someone like you could do it." He explained and shoved the bat at her. "Here give it a try."

"Oh… uh…" Roxas set her bag down eying the bat and then the ball. "Okay… I just have to keep hitting it and not let it touch the ground right?"

"That's all there is to it. Easy right?" Hayner smirked crossing his arms. He had a silent bet that she'd stumble after the first few hits.

"Okay," Roxas narrowed her eyes locking onto her target. She treated it like a heartless and the soft bat as her keyblade. Her breathing slowed to calm her nerves and she launched at it. The first smack sent the ball high and she jumped after it.

The trio gawked as she smacked it around over and over, a few close calls nearly making her fumble but she twisted and popped the ball back in the air with impressive athleticism.

"Whoa, she's amazing." Pence murmured.

"Yeah, she might even be better than Seifer!" Olette proclaimed watching giddily.

"Tch, it's not that impressive." Hayner muttered but couldn't help but be impressed by the way Roxas just naturally flowed and followed. After breaking the hundred margin Roxas finally gave up panting and wiping sweat from her brow.

"Wow, that's a lot harder than it looks." Roxas said handing the bat back to Hayner. "Still, it was kinda fun."

"Not bad for a beginner." Hayner took the bat and stepped up to her. "You're a lot tougher than you look. Sorry if it seemed like I was picking on you."

"It's okay… you were just upset, right?" Roxas waved it off and had Hayner shrugging.

"Yeah, but that's no excuse. Let me make it up to you. I'll buy you an ice cream." Hayner jerked a thumb behind him towards the town square where the ice cream shop was.

"Okay, that's where I was headed anyway." Roxas confirmed and picked up her bags. Pence nudged Olette snickering.

"Never knew Hayner could be such a gentleman." Pence teased and had Olette laughing.

"Hey! That's enough from the peanut gallery." Hayner grumbled and had Roxas giggling. "Oh great, even the new girl is laughing at me."

"Come on, let's all go get some ice cream and show the new girl around town." Pence suggested as they walked towards the square. "We can show her our hideout spot."

"Good idea," Hayner gave a thumbs up and looked to Roxas grabbing her hand. "Come on…" he pulled her along before Roxas could protest. They stopped at the ice cream shop and Roxas took the bar with a small frown. She was having fun… but she wondered if hanging out with regular humans was a good idea. She had to keep her job and such a secret… and if heartless popped up she could be endangering them.

"Thanks for the ice cream… I'd really like to go with you guys but I have somewhere I gotta be." She looked down. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay… maybe next time." Hayner suggested.

"Yeah," Roxas offered a smile and took her first bite. "Thanks again." She walked off sighing a little bit. She wondered why she suddenly felt so unhappy. Emotions were so complicated, and she just couldn't seem to understand them.

Taking her ice cream up the tower she ate it while watching Hayner Pence and Olette play a game below. She wished she could join them, they looked like they were having so much fun… smiling, laughing… and the brief time she was with them she felt so welcomed and accepted.

"Must be nice… having a heart." She bit into her ice cream.

"I knew i'd find you here." Axel commented and had Roxas' head snapping up.

"Axel!"

"Man I slept like a log." Axel stretched and then sat next to her. He eyed the bag and peeked inside. "You spent your vacation shopping?"

"Y-Yeah, it was fun." Roxas said with a blush. "I've never bought anything besides ice cream and weapon stuff before."

"You really are a girl…" Axel muffled a laugh and looked down at the twilight trio below. "Hmmm is it Summer Vacation already? Nah it can't be."

"Summer Vacation?" Roxas looked at him curiously. "What's that?"

"It's a dream come true, that's what, where they get a whole month off." Axel explained.

"A Month Off?!" Roxas' eyes went wide. "I wouldn't know what to do with that much free time. I can barely fill a whole day."

"I can think of a couple of things we could do." Axel teased grabbing her chin and giving her a quick peck that had her blushing. "Most kids are given tons of homework, and of course they have to spend time with their friends, so trust me it's over before you can blink."

"Hmmm…" Roxas smiled and leaned into him. "I could deal with seven days, maybe." She giggled watching the trio below.

"Most kids just spend time goofing off with their friends. They save the homework til the very last minute then help each other finish it."

"That does sound like fun…"

"Hanging out with your friends is fun… I'd forgotten all that since becoming a Nobody, I guess." Axel said with a serious frown but then turned to her. "So did you spend all your time shopping?"

"Hey guys…" Xion interrupted walking up and taking her usual spot. "How did I know you'd be here?" Roxas was still getting used to her female form… but the gentle eyes, and quiet voice were helping her become accustomed.

"Hey Xion, where did you go?" Roxas asked pulling from Axel's embrace to be more in the center of her two comrades.

"I didn't go anywhere, how about you two?" Xion asked curiously.

"Axel was asleep all day." Roxas teased her eyes flirting some.

"What's that about?" Xion joined in the tease. "You wasted a day off?"

"Hey! Unlike you two lazybones I work hard so I'm tired okay?" Axel defended.

"Well maybe unlike me and Roxas you are just out of shape." Xion fired back and had Roxas snorting with laughter then all three went into fits of giggles. After the laughter died Axel sighed heavily.

"Tomorrow it's back to work." He said lamently.

"I hope we get another vacation soon." Xion agreed.

"Oh that reminds me." Axel stood up stretching. "I might not see you guys for awhile."

Roxas let out a quick sound of distress her eyes lifting up.

"What? Why not?"

"They're sending me out on recon for a few days." He explained.

"Where?"

"Can't tell." He put a finger to his lips and had a pair of females pouting up at him. He had to laugh. "It's a secret mission."

"But I thought we were friends." Xion complained and leaned up on Roxas who nodded in agreement.

"Hey, I'm not about to tell you all my dark secrets." Axel ruffled Roxas' hair then flicked Xion on the forehead. Xion grumbled and Roxas pulled her legs up pouting into them. "I'm just kidding… I just have to keep my mouth shut or else Saix will get on my case." He rubbed Roxas' shoulders comfortingly. "You know how he can get."

"Yeah… okay." Roxas leaned into him sighing and Xion in turn got closer to add to the comfort.

"Try not to bungle everything while I'm gone, okay?"

"Now why would we do that?" Xion said playfully.

"Well with your guys' track record I just can't count on you."

"Hey!" Xion reached around to swipe playfully at him. "We can handle things just fine, isn't that right Roxas?"

"Yeah." Roxas smiled. "Just wait and see."

 **~Later~**

Axel broke off from the three friends to head towards the mission room. He paused when Saix's voice broke the silence.

"What took you so long?" Saix asked in his usual grumble voice.

"It's my vacation, I can take as long as I want." Axel grunted.

"You're letting yourself get too attached to them, Roxas in particular." Saix warned stepping up to him.

"Yeah, yeah," Axel waved him off not the least bit concerned about his warnings.

"You know, you've changed." Saix shook his head walking off.

Axel stayed where he was a few moments recollecting himself. He didn't care for the way Saix was butting into his free time. As humans they may have been friends once upon a time… but the one who had truly changed was Saix. The longer they'd stayed in the organization, the more driven the man became. He was cutting off all ties of himself, becoming a lifeless drone to the superior, and Axel didn't care for it.

They may be nobodies, they may not have hearts, but they both had their memories and with those memories came the remembrance of what it was like to have fun, be friends, and enjoy life. No matter what their goals were now Axel never forgot the importance of living life to the fullest and making sure everyone he came across remembered him. It… disturbed Axel to think that his once best friend was forgetting him and what they had meant to each other. Maybe that's why he'd let himself become attached to Roxas and Xion. Their naivety, curiosity, and hunger for emotion and fun made them the perfect companions without having to complicate matters too much.

The fact that his relationship with Roxas had deepened, and they'd developed something that resembled love was just another part of enjoying his life. Roxas believed she loved him despite the lack of a heart… and despite knowing he wasn't capable of it, Axel desperately wanted to believe he loved her too.

He walked back to the rooms, knocked on Roxas' door before entering and stopped dead. She'd put on the clothes she'd bought and had pulled her hair up and out of her face. Those bright blue orbs glanced over at him and she turned adjusting the skirt a bit.

"Does it look weird?"

"No…" Axel smiled and closed the door. "In fact I think it suits you really well." He took her hand admiring the accessory she bought. "This is cool."

"Right? It's the first thing I saw in the window." She rubbed it smiling. "Somehow… I could imagine myself wearing it… and when I put it on it was as if it belonged there. Kinda silly huh?"

"No…" He tucked hair behind her ear smiling. "I don't think so. Maybe I should go buy some regular clothes too. Then next vacation you and I can go on a date."

"A date?" Roxas' eyes lit with curiosity.

"Yeah… it's a special outing for a boyfriend and girlfriend. They spend the whole day together without anyone else."

"I'd like that." She blushed and giggled. "I want to spend time with Xion too, but having you all to myself for one day sounds like a lot of fun."

"Good, it's settled then. Next vacation you and I will go on a date…. Then maybe the one after that the three of us can go someplace together. Xion likes the beach so maybe we'll go to the beach."

"Yeah? Okay!" Roxas beamed. "That sounds perfect! Xion would definitely enjoy herself!"

"I've noticed you started referring to Xion as a female. Does this mean I don't have to worry about you two locking lips anymore?" He teased and had Roxas blushing.

"I told Xion I thought of him only as a friend and that you were the only one I'd kiss. When I did Xion's appearance changed to a girl. She hasn't changed back since so…" She fidgeted some. "Yeah I don't think you have to worry."

"Good, then I won't worry about it while I'm gone." He sat on the bed. "Go put your cloak back on. I'll stay here with you tonight."

Roxas fidgeted again.

"Do you really have to go?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. Orders are orders Roxy." He said with a sigh leaning back.

"Then… can you stay tonight?" She gripped the end of her skirt starting to tug it down "Can you stay the whole night so I can wake up next to you? Please?"

Axel's face went serious. She started to undress right in front of him and that brought an uncomfortable heat in his gut. As her skirt fell to the floor he averted his eyes and jolted a bit when he felt something pulse inside him. He gripped his stomach. That was new.

"Well?" Roxas stood in a white slip only and got closer to him. The sight had him sitting upright on the bed staring straight into those honest blue eyes to avoid looking anywhere else.

"Uh… um…" he rubbed the back of his neck trying to think a way to decline… but couldn't bring himself to. The honest truth was… he wanted to stay with her. "Sure. I'll stay."

Roxas' face brightened and she leaped into his arms snuggling in.

"Roxas… your clothes."

"Mmmm leave them…" She snuggled right in sighing happily. "Just leave them."

Axel blushed bright red and kicked off his shoes before bringing the blanket over them just in case. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her letting out a slow breath and relaxing. She was still somewhat dressed, and they would only sleep. They were doing NOTHING wrong.

...Still Axel couldn't resist stroking a hand over her hair and down her back, the warmth of her body making him swallow hard. No way was he going to be able to sleep tonight.

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: I might be pushing boundaries here but I couldn't resist. We'll be getting into some serious chapters here and I want to savor my AkuRoku moments while I can.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: The Imposter**_


	11. The Imposter

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Author's Note: I meant to post this on friday but in order to keep this fic from being monotonous I'm doing some times skips to keep the plot interesting. It proved to be a bit more troublesome than I bargained for. I hope this doesn't cause any confusion and allows for a more interesting read.**

 **Chapter 11: The Imposter**

 **~Day 171~**

Axel wasn't sure what had happened while he'd been gone, but he noticed almost immediately that Xion and Roxas were at odds with each other. When he asked about it Roxas just waved it off, and pouted into her ice cream. For awhile after that she just concentrated on her missions, and though they still met up for ice cream, Axel could tell the separation was getting to her.

As for Xion. he stayed distant, and the few times Axel tried to approach her about it made her irritable.

Women, he thought, were so troublesome.

Roxas finished her mission at Beast's castle with a heavy sigh. She was in such a foul mood, and knew exactly what the cause of it was. Though she wasn't sure what brought on the sudden change in attitude, she knew it had something to do with what Saix had said to her.

" _We never should have wasted time in a mistake like you."_

What happened. Roxas wondered. to make Saix say something so cruel? Was it because she'd failed a mission? Even so that wasn't a good enough reason to call her that especially after all the good they had done.

" _Xigbar said that you and me were pretty special, exceptional even."_

" _Special?" Roxas remembered how pained Xion's face had been at the mention of this. "Isn't that just another way of saying that I'm a mistake?"_

" _You're not a mistake!"_

" _Well You and I may be exceptional, Roxas, but... I don't think we're quite the same."_

At that time, Xion seemed so upset, and doubtful of her own abilities and purpose. Why did Saix have to say something so cruel? It was his fault Xion was acting like this, that she was pulling away from her friends! Xion wasn't a mistake! She worked hard and did a lot for the organization. Saix had no right to say those things to her… and feeling bold, went straight up to him and said so.

"You should apologize to Xion!" Roxas told him when he opened his mouth to give her her mission.

"Apologize for what?" Saix scowled at her demand. This girl really needed to learn her place. What had Axel been thinking tying himself to someone so troublesome?

"You know exactly what. You said those cruel things to her! Now Xion won't even talk to me! She isn't a mistake and she's a vital part of the organization. She hasn't done anything to deserve your bullying. So apologize!"

"No." Said crossed his arms. "You're insinuating that it will even care if I apologize. It won't, therefore it is a waste of my time."

"Xion is not an it!" Roxas screamed at him now catching the attention of the other members.

"Refer to that abomination however you like. It's none of my concern how your relationship is. The point is I won't apologize to that thing. Its making too many mistakes and costing us valuable-"

"Shut up!" Roxas' keyblade was out and ready to strike. She felt arms grab her and struggled against Demyx.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on Roxas, no need for violence. Just ignore him."

"You shut up too, Mr. Lazy! Xion works ten times harder than you! She doesn't deserve this!" She jabbed a finger into Demyx's chest and he rubbed it.

"Ow, that hurt. Look just go talk to your friend. Saix isn't gonna change his mind, and fighting him won't help. It's just gonna get you into trouble." Plus if she messed up, he'd have to start taking on more missions alone, and that sounded like a pain in the ass.

"Put her down Demyx…" Luxord strolled in. "It's not as if it'll do any good. It appears she hasn't heard the news of Xion's failure."

"Failure? What's that supposed to mean?" Roxas wriggled from Demyx and looked to Luxord.

"I'm surprised you haven't't heard. It appears she bungled her last mission, and has been in a deep sleep ever since."

"WHAT!?" Roxas' eyes went wide with shock. She started to turn.

"Just where do you think you're going? You've a mission!"

"And I'll do it, but I'm not leaving until I see my friend!" She shouted back and sent a withering stare over her shoulder. "Just try and stop me, you jerk!" She ran off with Luxord giving a small little applaud.

"She's growing bolder everyday. Must be quite a hassle for you Saix."

"She won't be so brave when that boldness of hers causes her demise." He turned his back to Roxas and went back to his own work.

 **~Day 193~**

Roxas had collapsed beside Xion's bed overcome with guilt. She came back everyday before every mission to hold her hand and will her to wake up. She wasn't the only one worried either, more often than not Axel would come in with her and sit beside Xion's bed so the two of them could talk to her, and watch over her.

Just like Xion had done for her, Roxas brought her seashells. She wasn't sure where the beach was, but the moment she'd stepped onto those sandy shores for the first time Roxas had felt such a familiarity to the place… it was as if she'd been there before.

"It's beautiful, just like you said." Roxas set the latest shell on the pillow sighing. "I'll bring mo-WHOA!" She jumped back as Xion suddenly woke with a start. "Xion! You're awake! You startled me!"

"R-Roxas?" Xion rubbed her eyes looking at her a bit confused. What had happened? The last thing she remembered was cornering an imposter who had snuck into the threshold… and passing out. "Where… Oh-" She glanced down at the pillow and saw the seashells. She smiled and lifted one to her ear.

"Do you hear it?"

"Yeah… the sound of the waves." Xion opened her eyes, looked into Roxas'. Guilt immediately hit her smack in the chest and she sighed heavily. She'd ignored and treated Roxas so badly… but Roxas stayed so kind and thoughtful to her. She couldn't let her doubts and worries impede on their friendship, she just couldn't. "How long was I asleep?"

"About twenty days…" Roxas explained sitting next to her in the bed. "You were sleeping so much, Axel and I got worried."

"Axel too?" Xion held her chest the guilt increasing. She put a hand to her chest "I'm sorry about that… It's kinda weird that we can feel anything at all, without hearts to feel with."

Roxas agreed, but had stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago.

"Hey Roxas, don't you have work today?" Xion asked scooting up on her knees and getting closer.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I was just about to head out." Roxas stood up but Xion grabbed her hand.

"I'd like to tag along, please?"

"What? Don't you need more rest?" Worried she gripped Xion's hand.

"I'll be fine, especially if you're there with me." She smiled warmly, and Roxas couldn't resist. She felt that gap between them close and she helped Xion up and out of bed.

"Okay, but let me handle things. Take it slow, okay?"

"Alright…" She hugged Roxas tight and sighed. "I'm sorry about the way I'd been behaving. I just…"

"You don't have to explain, Xion. Just know that if you need to get something off your chest, you need someone to talk to, Axel and I are here for you." She pulled back smiling. "We're your friends, and we'll always look out for you."

 **~After the Mission~**

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Axel asked Xion sitting at her bedside. She'd collapsed again during the mission, but this time had woken up almost right away. Still with both her friends worrying over her she agreed to stay in bed for the rest of the day.

"About what?" Xion sat up her hands folded on her lap. Roxas had left to go back to her room and shower, but Axel stayed, apparently to interrogate. It bothered her that no matter how close she and Roxas got, there always seemed to be this barrier between her and Axel.

"You know what, Xion. I think it's time you told me, or at least told Roxas why you'd been acting so strangely. You failed two missions, both revolving around this imposter that's been sneaking around and spying on the organization. On top of that you collapsed twice. What's going on?"

"I…" Xion sighed and pulled her legs up to her chest. "I found the imposter both times… but I couldn't capture him. He was just too strong. He… he called me a fraud, and my keyblade a sham."

"A sham?" Axel's brows knit together.

" I didn't understand what he meant by that… I thought maybe it was because I don't have a heart… but when I returned to the castle Saix was so angry with me. He said the organization shouldn't put their hopes on me… that I'm a mistake."

"Well he's wrong…" Axel took her hand gripping it. "You shouldn't let what Saix says bother you, he's just a jerk. You made Roxas and I worry because you wouldn't confide in us. Friends have to be honest with each other. I've told you guys that before haven't I?"

"You have… and I'm sorry. I was just afraid, and a little jealous. Ever since you and Roxas have gotten so close I feel… a bit closed off from both of you. It's made me wonder why I'm even here, why I exist at all."

"I suppose I have to take some of the blame there." Axel admitted. "Still just because me and Roxas are intimate. Doesn't- MMMPH!" Axel jolted when Xion closed the distance and put her lips on his. He pulled back and shook his head. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry! I just… I wanted to know what it was like. When you and Roxas kiss she looks so happy. I want that! I want what she has!"

Axel narrowed his eyes.

"Well you can't. You have to find your own happiness. You can't just take what someone else has."

"But Axel…"

"YOU JUST CAN'T!" He stormed off and slammed the door. He paced the coridoor a few times before deciding to do something with this pent up energy of his. He went to Vexen's room and scrambled through the books. The guy had a record on every member of the organization and hoped he'd get some answers on Xion's background and her connection to Roxas.

Sora, Roxas' human self, had only two friends that were close enough to know about the memories Xion had mentioned. Kairi, and Riku. Namine was Kairi's nobody, and at first Axel believed Xion to be RIku's since he had a male form to start… but the more time he spent with Xion, the more he was starting to realize that there was something different and troubling about Xion.

...and reading through Vexen's journals only confirmed his suspicions.

"So… that's what's going on." He sneered and slammed the book shut. "You want what Roxas has… well you're not getting it. If you want happiness and power you'll have to get it the same way everyone else does."

He reread the book, picturing Roxas' happy face, and Xion beside her grinning. Good times, the best of times… but he had priorities.

" If this really is what you were created to do I will stop you. I won't let you hurt Roxas…" He clenched a fist over his chest feeling the immense pressure there. "...even if it means terminating our friendship."

 **~Riku~**

Riku brushed his fingers over the glass of Sora's sleep cell. Her sleeping face bright on a mix of guilt and relief. He grieved other the fact she had been manipulated by the organization. He had wanted to erase all the tension in their relationship by letting her know he loved her and that he had no hard feelings or resentments towards her.

However, the organization had made a puppet of him, had manipulated the memories to emphasize the hurt and twist those feelings onto Namine. When his puppet confronted Sora it caused all manner of hurt and confusion for her.

"Why is it when I get close to you I just end up hurting you?" He clenched his fist and turned his back to exit the room. He made his way upstairs to where Namine was waiting for him

"You made me a promise," he told her with a scowl.

"Yes, to protect Sora. I'm afraid I haven't been keeping that promise very well." She asked shamefully.

"Can you tell me what's happening?" Riku asked fisting his hands on his knees.

"Some of Sora's memories are missing." Namine explained soberly.

"How can that be?"

"Sora's memories are escaping through her nobody, and being absorbed into a third person." Namine lifted her sketchpad staring at the picture with sad eyes. "Now, they're starting to become a part of her."

Xion, Riku realized with a frown. He had met Xion a few weeks ago at Beast's Castle, unaware of her particular situation he'd been stunned when he'd pulled back the hood and had seen Sora's face. The initial shock, and the obvious connection she had with Sora kept him from destroying her completely. Still the anger inside him wouldn't waver. He called her a fraud, and her keyblade a worthless sham.

After more investigating, Riku had come to realize that Xion, and Roxas and even Axel were striving to become their own people. It was hard to watch, but even harder to ignore.

"Isn't there a way to bring back just Sora's memories?"

"If they're separate yes… but if Xion's memories and Sora's memories become woven together, I'll have to untangle them. That will take even more time, and Diz won't tolerate it."

"So what can you do?"

"If i just jump in, and rearrange the memories, then Sora would wake up only to find that no one remembers him. That's a risk I just can't take." Namine set the sketchbook down and clenched her hands in her lap. "Sora's Nobody, and the one absorbing memories from her… no one thought that these two would fight so hard to be their own person. Unfortunately, the only real solution is for both of them to go away. "

Riku sighed heavily. He'd been afraid of that. If Sora ever found out what it had taken to awaken her… she'd feel guilty and take on the hurt that came with it. He didn't want to think what kind of repercussions that hurt could cause her heart.

"Did you know, that Xion's face was originally like yours at first. The first memories absorbed had all been of you, and the longer he spent with Roxas, the more memories of you he took on… but as his and Roxas' relationship changed, she became more like Kairi. The two of you are important parts of Sora's heart, and now that Xion's absorbed nearly all those memories she's taking on more and more of Sora's attributes, and power. If something doesn't happen, if we don't stop her from absorbing more memories … then Sora will never wake up."

...and that, Riku decided with a frown, was all the justification he needed.

"Alright then… leave it to me."

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: Sorry for the delay of thie chapter. The time skips were a it more complicated than I'd anticipated and I had to go back and rewatch some of the clips in order to get a confirmation on timeline. Hope you enjoyed and are looking forward to more!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Secrets among friends**_


	12. Secrets Among Friends

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Chapter 12: Secrets among Friends**

 **~Day 225~**

Xion was going crazy. It was bad enough there was this whole gender confliction inside her...but now with the dreams and hallucinations adding to it Xion began to question her own identity. Was she male? Female? Who was she before she'd become a nobody and gained these powers? What was her connection to Roxas? To the people she saw in her head? Why did her chest flutter and ache whenever she thought of Axel and Roxas together?

The first memories she had as a nobody were all of Roxas. Going on missions with her, watching her smile, admiring how she wielded the keyblade, the way she spoke, walked, laughed, everything. Xion thought she admired Roxas because they were more than just friends, and that their bond was special...at least to her it was. Roxas had a special connection with Axel and that was what she wanted, but never had Xion considered just taking what Roxas had for her own. Yet... somehow… the words she'd spoken to Axel had just slipped out of her.

The stress of it all, the sudden flashes and images racing through her mind made her feel stiff and uneasy. She'd known Roxas would worry, was happy Axel seemed to be as well… but she hadn't expected Axel to just ignore what had happened between them. He didn't even tell Roxas what she had said… or if he did neither of them were put off by it. Axel even suggested they all go to the beach together. She admitted it sounded fun but…

"Wouldn't you guys prefer to go without me?"

"What are you talking about? You're our friend and this is a vacation with friends! We're all going."

"Oh…" Xion eyed Axel who just shrugged and grinned. There was something in his eyes that told her he was still wary where she was concerned...but Roxas' energetic smile and excitement balanced out the unease. "Okay, let's all go together."

Roxas beamed and began to chatter excitedly. Over her head Axel watched Xion's face and narrowed his eyes on her. It was that look that confirmed he hadn't forgotten what she'd said. Now Xion understood. He'd keep a close eye on her, do his best to stay friendly for Roxas' sake and ease the tension they had with each other.

...but he no longer trusted her.

Xion agreed to go with them… in truth she really wanted to. She needed to rekindle Axel's trust in her, needed to cling to the friendship that had kept her sane through the difficult times. She just wanted to ignore what was happening inside of her and just simply be their friend... but the dreams wouldn't stop, the voices wouldn't silence, and the visions weren't going away.

Xion truly felt like she was going crazy. She needed answers, needed to understand what was going on inside her, what the truth of her origins were. Who had she been in the past? Why was she seeing all these images? Who was Sora?

The higher ups had answers and weren't telling her for whatever reason. If they weren't going to tell her she'd find out on her own. The organization had records, good ones, she'd just have to poke around until she found what she was looking for.

She'd get in trouble for it she knew… but at this rate she wouldn't be able to concentrate on her job and her friendship would fall apart. She'd nearly bungled her last mission because her focus had been on other things, and Axel was already suspicious of her actions. So she'd risk further implication, risk what she had left to get those answers.

Her fingers worked lightning fast on the Oragnization's main computer, searching through files on various events and data… and when she finally found what she was looking for… she let out a small gasp.

"This is…"

 **~Day 254~**

Axel hated Castle Oblivion. Why Saix, and whoever was pulling his strings, decided he was the best candidate to deal with this particular facility was a mystery to him. There were so many rooms, so many ways to get lost, and go crazy from it.

Oh well… a job was a job, and he needed the distraction. Roxas had been plagued by work, Saix giving her extra missions for her erratic behavior and disobedience. It kept her busy, and tired, and frankly Axel was glad for it. Xion's odd behavior was making Roxas uneasy, and work was the perfect way to keep her mind occupied.

Still he hated seeing the sad look on her face whenever Xion didn't show up for ice cream, or when the girl seemed distant and off. If Roxas knew the truth about Xion's origins, her purpose, it would teeter her off the edge. He had to prevent that. He'd find a way to get Xion back to her old self, to keep their friendship from falling apart.

He stepped out the door after packing away the boxes, and let out a choke gasp when he spotted Xion at the door. She was clutching her head, her eyes shut tightly and her teeth clenched.

"My head… hurts…" Xion went to her knees, the vision in her mind so fresh and clear it left her shaken.

"Xion..."

"Axel?" Xion looked up from her place on the floor. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just here on orders, that's all." He explained, his eyes focused on her face, his lips in a forced smile. "There's nothing for you to see here."

"Lies!" She said voice desperate and breath panting out. "This is the place I come from, I just know it!"

"What about your mission?" Axel asked, the smile fading as he walked to her. "Don't be selfish."

"Or what? They'll turn me into a dusk?" Xion said with venom in her voice.

"No… they'll just destroy you." He crouched and held out his hand for hers. She ignored it, standing on her own and turning her nose up at him.

"Is that because I'm useless?"

"That's not it…" though he wish it were. At least then he'd have no reason for animosity towards her. His loyalties were split into three. He knew what the organization wanted from her, knew that Roxas valued her as a friend, and Axel respected Xion for her natural curiosity and need of answers. Still… he had to do what was best. When Xion tried to step around him he grabbed her arm.

"Xion… please… go home." He asked her gently. Xion turned around, those big blue eyes reminding him so much of Roxas that there was a little ache in his chest. He let out a small breath to ease it, but it didn't stop the tension.

"I'm remembering things…" she told him. "I'm remembering things back from when I was a human."

"Well stop remembering, because nothing good will come of it." He started to tell her, gave her arm a little pull but she yanked free and whirled on him.

"I have dreams every night… and you're in those dreams, Axel!"

Axel's eyes widened. She was seeing Sora's most recent memories, the memories of Castle Oblivion.

"Xion that's not-" He shook his head. "If I'm in your dreams then they sure aren't memories. How could I be a part of your past? They're just dreams. That's all."

"You can't fool me!" Xion accused and grabbed his hands. "We've met before! Right here in this castle!"

"No we have not." He took her shoulders leaning down and staring her in the eye. He needed to make her listen, needed to make her understand how dangerous this territory was. He pressed a small kiss to her forehead, felt the tension rise in her. "Let's go home, Xion."

"Axel…" Tears started to well up as the emotions welled up inside Xion and made her heart want to burst. He did care for her… Axel cared for her. She tilted her face up, wanting him to kiss her more… to feel his lips on hers.

"Come on…" Axel pulled back just out of reach and had Xion letting out a shaky breath. "Don't keep Roxas waiting."

What? Xion shook a little and her teeth clenched again. WHAT!?

"Roxas, Roxas, ROXAS!" She took Axel's wrists clamping her fingers down into it. Xion's eyes went hot and defiant and she ripped away from him and ran to the doors.

"Stop! Stay out of there Xion!" Axel made a grab for her but she was already running for the doors. He ran after her… but by the time he reached her she'd already pried the doors open and stepped inside.

Xion looked around, memories filling her. As she desperately searched what was inside, what she found just ended up upsetting and confusing her.

"What? What is… this? You mean that wasn't who I am?"

 _ **~Day 255~**_

Roxas had spent the day on an mission that had more or less confused and frustrated her. Luxord accompanied her to a place known as wonderland where they shrunk, grew, battled heartless of varying degrees, and tried to clue together riddles spoken from a purple striped cat. Needless to say… it had been a tiring day.

She sighed heavily leaning forward with her ice cream in hand and watching the sunset. Neither of her friends had joined her yet, but she was hopeful. Xion had been acting strangely, but that hadn't stopped her friend from coming now and again, even for a brief moment. She saw Axel everyday, and the times when Xion didn't show they'd cuddle together, kiss, and just enjoy each other's company.

Love was so strange and wonderful, Roxas thought. Though they didn't have hearts, Roxas knew Love was exactly what she was experiencing with Axel. There was just no other way to describe this warm and fulfilling sensation whenever they were together.

"You're here early…" she heard him speak and just filled her with such… delight.

"No you're just late." She teased and sent him a flirtatious smile. He sat beside her, pulling her into the crook of his arm. She cuddled in there nuzzling under his chin. For a blissful fifteen minutes they just relaxed there, watching the sunset and eating their ice cream.

"Mmmm… today makes 255."

"What's that about?" Axel asked curiously

"That's how many days it's been since I've joined the organization." She told him… but it was also the amount of days it had been since they'd first met. "Wow, time flies."

"So, you've got the number memorized, huh?" Axel teased and chewed on his popsicle stick. Unlike Roxas who took her time eating the ice cream Axel always devoured his.

"Yeah… gotta hang onto something right?" She sat upright. "It's not like I have any memories before I joined the organization." She looked at him smiling warmly. "Here and now is what's important to me."

"Here and now, then." Axel agreed, taking her chin and pressing his lips to hers. When the kiss broke they smiled at each other and turned eyes back to the setting sun. "Hey Roxas, bet you don't know why the sun sets red."

"Hmmm?" Roxas cocked a curious eyebrow.

"Light is made up of all different colors, but red travels the farthest."

"Heh, know it all." She murmured and elbowed him playfully. The two laughed over the small joke… but as it died down Roxas' smile fell. She glanced over to her left sighing. "Seriously, where is she?"

Axel frowned.

"She's probably not coming. It's not like there's not other things she could be doing."

"I guess you're right but… she's been acting so strangely. I'm worried." Roxas looked down at her melting ice cream and quickly finished it. "I was hoping I could get her to talk to me… tell me what's been on her mind."

"When Xion's ready to talk she will." Axel stood and took Roxas' hand. "Come on, let's go back."

"You go ahead… I want to wait for her just a little longer." Roxas pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin there.

Axel pulled his hand back and he cast his eyes to the heavens. Damn that Xion… she just had to go and mess everything up.

 _ **~Day 256~**_

Roxas had waited until nearly nightfall before giving up. She went to Xion's room, knocked, but no on answered. It could be she was tired and had gone to sleep early, or it could be she was training downstairs, or had yet to return from a recon mission. Either way Roxas just returned to her room, and for the first time in days slept in her own room and bed without Axel.

Something was off, Roxas sensed, and not just with Xion but Axel as well. It was as if both of them were hiding something from her… and it made her uneasy. The following morning, she found she was right to be uneasy.

"Xion is gone." The superior announced after calling together the remaining organization members.

"What?!" Roxas looked up with wide eyes, her chest going heavy as the worry returned. "Why?"

"She's your friend," Saix said with animosity. "You tell us."

Roxas scowled at him, her fingers clenched together.

"Whoa wait, so she like seriously flew the coop?" Demyx asked, lounged back carelessly in his seat.

"How preposterous… what would drive her to choose her own demise?" Xaldin sneered.

Demise? Roxas jerked her head upward at Xaldin. She continued to listen to the meeting, her head racing with thoughts and the pressure in her chest increasing.

"No one is to go looking for Xion without my permission." The Superior proclaimed and had Roxas sitting upright in her seat.

"What? Why Not?"

"Your so called friend will be left alone… or would you prefer we find suitable punishment?"

"Grrr…" Roxas snarled in Saix's direction. "I would PREFER we find her and bring her back!"

"Why would we do that?" Saix continued in a careless, drawl tone. Roxas' fury sparked and before she knew what she was doing Roxas was standing in her seat, weapon unleashed.

"Because despite what YOU think of her, she's a valued member of the organization! She's one of the keyblade's chosen, or have you forgotten that you arrogant bastard!"

"Arrogance is a symbol of pride and vanity which I have none so your statement is invalid. Lord Xemnas has spoken, put your weapon away and obey… or face your end." He told her, not bothering to even look her in the eye.

"Roxas…" Axel eyed her from across the room and waved his hand down. "Let it go."

Roxas narrowed her eyes on Axel then let her keyblade vanish before sitting back down. After the meeting had finished her and Axel walked side by side together, her blood still boiling.

"I wish you wouldn't have stopped me."

"You'd prefer to get punished? You won't be able to look for Xion if your non-existence is eradicated."

"That's not… wait what did you say?" Roxas paused and looked up at him.

"I said you won't be able to-"

"No, no, i heard that, I just…" she shook her head and then went into his arms. "What about our orders?"

"Orders Schmorders... Just give me some time to find some clues. I'll figure out where we can go look for her, and then you and I will bring her home. Okay?" He gave her a small smile and felt relief when Roxas' bloomed on her face.

"You promise?" Roxas asked hopeful.

"I promise." Axel pulled her in and held her tightly to his chest. He didn't want her to see that his face had gone hard and determined. He'd find Xion alright… but whether or not they'd bring her home in one piece was another story.

 _ **~Day 277~**_

This place never changed… Riku thought as he looked out at Destiny Islands. He was glad the little island seemed desolate. None of their friends had come in the time they'd been gone, probably busy with school or other activities. The quiet allowed him to enjoy the peaceful scenery… even as he had his objective sprawled out on the ground at his feet.

Xion lay collapsed on the stone, the memories and illusions inside her spiraling out of control making her lose sense of herself, and of her surroundings. He knelt down stroking a hand over the face that was so much like Sora's.

"Who am I?" He heard her murmur pained. "What am I here for?"

Riku sighed and glanced up. He saw a figure disappear into a black cloud and for a moment his heart twisted thinking it was Sora.

"Not quite…" He told himself with a sigh. Looking down at Xion he remembered Namine's words and shook his head. "… just her nobody."

 _ **~In Xion's Mind~**_

 _Axel… Roxas…_

 _I finally know the truth about myself… or at least enough to know I'm not meant to exist. My fate is tied with Sora, but how it's tied I'm still not sure. How did this happen? How did it all just spin out of control?_

 _All I ever wanted was to have fun, eat ice cream and be with my friends. I want to go to the beach, watch sunsets, and just laugh. I want a special bond like the two of you have with each other that's pure and comforting._

 _I want… I want to be like you, Roxas._

 _Despite not having a heart you have such joy, and cheerfulness inside you. You have kindness, and courage, and a hunger for life. You truly cherish the days you spend with us… whilst I waste them worrying over who I am and what my purpose is._

 _How do I become my own person?_

 _How do I become like you?_

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: We're getting down to the nitty gritty. I really hope you all are enjoying the emotional roller coaster. I spent several days replaying 358/5 days to prepare for what's happening next so *rubs hands together* Get ready!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Betrayal**_


	13. Betrayal

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Author's Note: So… I got this finished yesterday, finited some details and saved it…. BUT FORGOT TO UPLOAD IT! Damn it I wanted both of these to be updated on AkuRoku day… BAD AUTHOR YOU FAIL! YOU MEGA FAIL! DISHONOR! DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY make a note of this… DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW…**

 **Sorry I was really peeved at myself because I worked really hard to get this done yesterday and only just NOW realized I didn't post it when I meant to. Grrrrrr… ANYWAY ENJOY!**

 **Chapter 13: Betrayal**

 **~Day 296~**

"It's no use…" Roxas sighed heavily. For days She and Axel searched for Xion, but she was nowhere to be found. Roxas started taking extra time after her missions to go searching… she even skipped ice cream because it just didn't feel the same without Xion there. At her wits end she walked with Axel to their usual spot on the tower, to pow wow.

"You sure you haven't forgotten someplace."

"I've looked everywhere I know how to get to." Roxas insisited with a heavy sigh, watching him sit casually. "The only place I haven't checked is Castle Oblivion."

Axel let out a short sound of surprise. He slowly glanced up at Roxas who stare down at him, face set.

"It was just the other day that Xion was asking you what the place was like… and on the day before she disappeared, you said she was put on an important mission. Remember?"

"Yeah… but there's nothing there anymore. The entire castle has been emptied out of Organization property."

"Still… Xion might be there." Roxas insisted and had Axel sighing.

"Apparently… Xion comes from Castle Oblivion." He pulled up a leg, resting his arm on it. How much should he tell her? How much could he afford to tell her? "That's probably why she was asking about the place."

"Really? I had no idea."

"Me neither… I only found out a little while ago." He told her with a heavy sigh. He hated keeping secrets from her.

"Castle Oblivion…" that settled it Roxas decided as she settled in beside Axel. Somehow, someway, she'd find a way to get there.

It hadn't taken much effort at all, as coincidentally the next day Saix had mentioned the imposter being spotted inside the castle. Quick on the uptake Roxas volunteered to take the mission. Saix was against her going alone… but like always Axel had her back.

"Then how about I go with her? I know that castle better than anyone."

"Fine… go teach that imposter the price of wearing our coat." Saix said with mock disdain and strolled off to continue his own duties. Axel gave her a thumbs up and she grinned ear to ear.

Axel opened the portal, and stepping through the void they reappeared in front of the castle. The sight of it left Roxas a bit awed… but there was a weird shiver that ran over her skin… as if she'd been here before.

"This is odd… why would this place be familiar to me?" She murmured under her breath and stepped through the doors. She looked up and around. "So this is castle oblivion…"

"Yeah, nothing special, right?" Axel waved a hand around, then slowed his pace to keep his eyes on her. He watched her start to wobble some and his eyes narrowed. "Roxas?"

"I…" She walked forward, looking around… and suddenly felt a sharp pain in her head. Visions rushed through, flashes of people and places she'd never seen before. "What? What's going on? My head!"

"Easy, Roxy. Come on, let's retreat for now!" Axel grabbed her as she started to collapse forward but she shook him off stumbling.

"I'm fine! I gotta… find… Xion!" She fell to her knees and Axel rushed to her holding her to his chest. Her hands were clamped over her ears, eyes shut tight and she grunted and groaned.

"What's going on? There's… so much… rushing into… my head!"

"That does it…" Axel grit his teeth. He knew this was a bad idea. Ever since he saw Xion collapse he knew Roxas would have a similar experience. He had to get her out of here. He picked her up princess style and opened a warp.

"No… not yet…" She couuld almost see… almost remember. There were shadowy figues… names at the tip of her tongue. "I can almost… MNNG!"

Axel rushed through the dark and out into Twilight Town. By the time he saw the light Roxas had passed out from the pain. He knelt down holding her to him and gently patted her cheeks.

"Roxas? Are you alright? Roxas?"

"Mnnng…" Roxas stirred, voices still crammed into her head… and a name that brought both joy and sorrow.

 _Giving up already? I thought you were stronger than that._

"RIKU!" Roxas shot up gasping and Axel kept her from jerking away. "What? Where?" She looked up at Axel confused. "What happened to me?"

"You collapsed as soon as you walked into the castle doors." He pressed his lips to her forehead. She'd frightened him, he realized… somehow he had felt the quick shock of panic in his throat and the worry hit him straight in the gut. She was making him remember all of his former feelings… making him feel as if his heart still rested in his chest. "Don't you remember?"

"I only remember going inside…" Roxas stroked a hand over his chest then pulled back stumbling to her feet and holding her head. "Mmmmph the pain is gone… let's go back."

"Don't push yourself, Roxy." He pulled her back into his arms stroking her hair. "I'll go back and look for Xion."

"I'm going with you… I-" she started to protest but then spotted the figure behind him. "Xion?"

"What?" he whirled around. Two figures stood nearly side by side. One was Xion, the outine of her face clear enough to them. The second was taller and unfamiliar, and said absolutely nothing.

"The imposter!" Xion backed away into the black warp.

"Xion wait!" The imposter stepped between them and her to allow Xion escape. "Out of the way!"

"What's he doing here… Roxas wait!" He shouted at her when the Imposter fled and Roxas went off in pursuit.

"Let's go after him!" Roxas rushed ahead. Axel ran behind her his long legs eating up ground and easily catching up. Heartless started to pop up and block their path, but the two ate through the distraction and to the core. They chased him all through the underground pathways, fighting heartless and trying to catch the guy off guard.

"He's fast!" Roxas panted and skidded to change course and duck down another hallway. "STOP!" She shouted at him and with the tip of her blade sent three rapid fire blizzards in his direction.

The figure dodged and bat away the attacks, his face still shrouded but his body gestures sounding alarms in the back of Roxas' brain. She ran forward and reached out to try and sink into the shadow warp with the imposter, but missed and nearly ran straight into the gate.

"Damn it… he got away."

"I thought the imposter was sighted in Castle Oblivion." Axel questioned as he panted from the sprint.

"It was Xion…" She whispered half in a daze.

"No way was that Xion!"

"The person who ran first was Xion!" She held herself as confusion and hurt overwhelmed her. "...but why run? What's happened to her?"

 **~Day 298~**

"Xion has betrayed us." Saix spoke in his usual monotone voice.

"What!?" Roxas held her chest. "No! That's not-"

"You yourself witnessed her in cohorts with the imposter. Tell me what other explanation makes sense."

"He could be forcing her!" Roxas insisted and looked to Axel to back her up. "We don't know what the circumstances are. Haven't you ever heard of giving someone the benefit of the doubt?"

"Ha! Spare me your repulsive displays of would be sentiment." He sneered and had Roxas bubbling inside. Her fists clenched and she lifted her head. She wanted so badly to take her keyblade and wipe that smug look off his stupid face.

"The imposter has resurfaced in Twilight Town. Go and destroy him, Roxas, like I expected you to do yesterday."

"Tch… fine I will, and while I'm at it I'll bring Xion home and you'll see!" She whirled around and stormed through the warp. She'd take this frustration and irritation out on her mission, and on the guy who was ripping her friendship apart. 

"...and one of these days Saix… I'm going to use your face to relieve my frustrations." She promised with a huff.

 **~Meanwhile~**

Xion walked through Twilight Town, lost in thought and with Riku close by giving her someone to talk to if she needed it. Yesterday she'd seen Axel and Roxas chase after Riku, and had felt extremely guilty that they looked so desperately for her.

"I want to go back… I want to be with my friends… but I can't go back the way I am." She rubbed her arms closing her eyes. Riku touched her shoulder and she looked up at him.

"Xion.." Riku murmured to her. "I won't stop you if you want to go back… you need time to think about your decision, and where you're really needed."

"Needed… not what i really want?"

"Yes… what you decide has to be good for everyone, not just yourself." He told her and paused glancing back towards the Sandlot. "I sense the darkness forming… seems like they're onto us. You may want to hide for the moment. I'll distract them."

"R-Right…" Xion peeked over the edge of the roof. She saw Roxas, keyblade out and eyes fierce. "It's Roxas."

"Get away before she sees you." Riku whispered to her harshly, but it was too late. Roxas' eyes lift and she spotted the cloaked figure.

"You!"

"Busted!" Xion ran from the roof and she and Riku went in opposite directions. Roxas was quick, cutting down heartless that popped up in her path but kept her eyes trained on the figure in black. Despite Riku doing his best to lure her away, confuse her, Roxas focused on Xion and tracked her all throughout Market Street.

"Persistent as always, Roxas." Xion panted and made a dash into an alley, but found herself trapped at a dead end. With no other option she started to open a dark portal but Roxas caught up snatching her hand.

"Wait!" Roxas pulled her back, her breath panting out and eyes wet and grieved. Caught Xion pulled her hand away and pulled off her hood to reveal her face, sad and conflicted.

"Xion… I knew it! Where have you been? Axel and I have been looking all over for you!" Roxas told her and brought her in for a hug. Taken aback by it Xion lifted her hands and slowly pat her back.

"You have? I'm sorry."

"We've been so worried… Come on, let's go home. If you come with us voluntarily Saix will let all this drop. He has to." She smiled comfortingly and kept her hands on her friend's shoulders. Xion looked down unable to meet Roxas' eyes. Seeing her discomfort and conflict Roxas' grip tightened a little. "I don't care what Saix said to you before. I'll be there for you, Axel and I-"

Roxas gasped a little when Xion yanked away, tears threatening to spill from those wide sad eyes.

"No… I really can't!" She couldn't… not when she felt so conflicted and pained. She knew if she went back, her friendship with Roxas and Axel would never be the same. "I've been hiding things from you Roxas… things you wouldn't like."

"Does this have to do with why you're running around with the Imposter?"

"Partially…He knows things about me that have left me a bit conflicted. It's more than that though. The reason I haven't wanted to return home has to do with you… and with Axel. I… I kissed him."

"Oh.. you…" something twisted inside her and Roxas flexed her hands and let out a quick shaky breath. "Is that all?"

"Is that all?" Xion let out a sarcastic laugh. "You're just gonna brush that off? Aren't you supposed to be in love with him?"

"I do… what you said… it hurts and I am angry you both kept it hidden from me. Still… you're both too important for me to just cut you off because of some misunderstanding." Roxas tried to soothe it over, despite the broiling emotions inside her.

"It's not a misunderstanding!" Xion snapped and whirled on her. She put a hand on her chest. "It's not like when you and I kissed. It wasn't memories or mistaken identity. I knew exactly what I was doing, and why I was doing it. I want to have a relationship with him the way you do. I want that special connection, that closeness. I want everything you have. I want…" She cut off and shook her head. "I want …"

 _I want to be you…_ she finished silently in her mind.

"Xion I don't care about any of that. You're my friend, Axel's your friend, we'll work through this so long as we're all together." Roxas tried to insist but as she stepped closer Xion jerked back and ran. Roxas made a grab for her but stopped short when Xion brought her keyblade up and pointed it up at her face. "Xion…"

Xion's face was set, eyes hard and body stiff. She sensed the attack coming and brought up her blade to block the Chakram that whipped through the air blazing. As the attack died Axel strolled up casually as you pleased.

"Well hello there, Xion."

"Axel what are you-" Roxas glared at him and gasped when Xion leapt at him, the two fighting. "Wha… stop it… what are you guys doing? You're supposed to be-" Roxas looked between the two people she cared for most. Seeing the animosity, and passion between them made something twist inside her. "STOP IT!"

Xion hesitated for just a moment at Roxas' plea, and it caused her to lose. Axel brought his hand over the back of her neck, knocking her out cold.

"Xion! Axel how could you… AXEL!"

Axel lifted Xion's limp body up under his arm and brought up the dark warp. Giving one sympathetic look to Roxas he sighed heavily and let the dark warp surround him and Xion. Before Roxas could reach him they were both gone and she was left alone in the alley.

"What the hell?!" Roxas turned and ran back to the RTC portal. Returning to the castle she spotted Axel right away and ran over shoving him.

"Whoa! Oh Hey Roxy."

"Don't "Hey Roxy" me! Where is she?" Roxas glared at him.

"By she, you mean Xion? She's resting, no worries." Axel tried to smile and brush it off, but felt the storm coming. "Listen, Roxas."

"How could you do that? How could you hurt her like that? You didn't have to use force!" She accused shoving at him again and making his own temper flare up.

"Didn't I!? She raised her keyblade against you, Roxas! Can you honestly tell me she was gonna come willingly after that little exchange?"

"Damn it, Axel we're supposed to be her best friends. We're supposed to-"

"This isn't about friendship!" He snapped back at her, Roxas' eyes looking both shocked and appalled by his raised voice. He let out a small growl and turned his back to her. "If that's all I gotta go." He walked off leaving Roxas to stew.

"I… if that's all?" Roxas clenched her fists at her side. What the hell happened to him? Why was Axel acting this way? Since when did he keep secrets from her? In fact why hadn't he told her that Xion has kissed him? She could understand Xion hiding it and not wanting to upset her, but Axel should have told her. She'd told him when Xion had kissed her. So why keep it a secret?

"Ugh… forget it! If he's gonna act this way then fine. I'll just find Xion on my own."

In a huff Roxas wandered around asking the various organization members where she was. When she got the run around she became fed up and decided to go straight to the top. She called for an audience with the superior… and immediately felt her position on the lowered pedestal in comparison to the risen one of Xemnas'

"I… I need to know." She started off, gathering her courage to look him straight in the eye. "What's going to happen to Xion?"

Xemnas stared down at her, a small pitying smile on his lips.

"Xion is a valued member of this organization… but she needs her rest." Xemnas explained calmly. "So worry not…"

Roxas narrowed her eyes then gasped when a flashback rushed through her. A conversation she'd had with him shortly after she'd joined the organization.

" _You've been with us for six days now. The time has come…" Xemnas rose from the rock he sat on and walked by her. Laying a hand on her shoulder he whispered. "Sora." then stepped through the portal._

"Sora…" Roxas shook her head waking from the daze. Why did that name keep popping up? "Who is Sora?"

"The connection…" Xemnas said simply, his eyes lit with an odd triumph. "She is what makes you and Xion apart of each other's lives." He sat up straight a little. "She is also the reason I placed Xion within our ranks. If you wish for her to stay that way I must insist you get your mind off these needless distractions."

"Distractions? What distractions?"

"These so called emotions. Whether through dreams, memories, or design you cannot let the question of them cloud your judgement. Your attachment to Axel for instance."

Roxas frowned and lowered her head. So… they knew about her and Axel's relationship.

"I see…"

""Good, I will have Xion return to her duties tomorrow. For today you must focus on your task to collect hearts so that Kingdom Hearts can be completed. Keep your focus and I can assure you all will return to rights, and you will not have to worry about such trivial matters again."

In other words… Roxas thought with some disdain… go back to being a zombie and doing what you're told, or risk losing what you've come to cherish.

"Understood."

 **~Ask Briry~**

 **Briry: I had more to say but because of my forgetfulness I'll just say... Happy Belated AkuRoku Day!**

 **Next Chapter: The Puppet Master**


	14. The Puppet Master

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Author's Note: Sorry about the long delay in this chapter. It was originally supposed to be longer, but the pace was throwing me off so I had break the chapter up. Hopefully this will allow a better flow into the next chapter and give you a more entertaining read. Thanks for your patience! Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 14: The Puppet Master**

Namine stare with horror as she looked upon the sleeping girl behind the oval glass. Through her magic she'd tried desperately to tie together the links and memories within Sora's heart, but she couldn't complete them without the missing pieces. Her conscience heavy with regret, Namine wished she'd never had a part in this. She wished she'd never taken apart Sora's memories. Unless Riku could find Xion and get the memories back, Sora would be lost forever.

"What has happened?" Diz strolled up behind her and she turned to face him, eyes wet and filled with worry.

"Sora's memory has stopped."

"What does that mean?" He nodded his head beckoning her to continue the explanation.

"Unless something is done, she'll never wake from her slumber." She folded her hands. "Without her memories of Riku and Kairi, Sora will remain asleep forever, or be forced to awaken incomplete and unable to recall who she was, or the friends she'd always cherished."

"The kid gloves must come off then." Diz told her coldly.

"...but Diz-" Namine started to protest.

"A nobody was never meant to exist, as I'm sure you'll very well aware Namine."

She couldn't argue, couldn't deny that her own "non-existence" had caused so many problems. She lowered her head in shame.

"Yes."

 **~World that Never Was~**

Roxas didn't like it, but it was back to routine. Even with Xion back things were tense between the three of them. They still met for ice cream… sometimes. They sat and watched the sunset together… sometimes. No one spoke about the fight, or the reason Xion left. No one asked argued or made accusations… they just accepted the situation as it was.

...frankly, it was lonely.

"Things are never gonna go back to how they were. At least if we argued maybe we could have some of that connection back. Now it just feels… forced." Roxas deduced sitting on her bed alone.

"How pathetic am I?" She laughed sourly. "I only have myself to talk to about these problems." She sighed and lay down staring at the ceiling. For days now she'd spent the nights alone tossing and turning. She missed having Axel nearby, missed holding onto him… and wished she could just rewind the clock and make things right.

"I miss you guys." She covered her eyes with the back of her hand… and felt the first tear fall.

 **~Day 321~**

Roxas often woke up from dreams with tears dried on her cheeks. Her chest felt so heavy, her body sluggish. Day after day, mission after mission she felt herself becoming drained and wished she knew what to do to give herself energy again.

"Maybe… I need a vacation. Axel always rests during-" she paused and shook her head cursing. She wished she could stop thinking about him. It was getting irritating that her thoughts always circled back to him.

Maybe… she should go see that gang in Twilight Town. That Hayner guy was really nice and offered to show her around and hang out. She would like to make more friends… and was it really against the rules to have friends outside of the organization?

She stepped into the mission room and immediately Xion took notice of her.

"Roxas are you okay?"

"Huh?" Roxas looked up at Xion surprised by the concern in her voice. "What?"

"You look really pale. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She forced a smile. "Just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Bad Dream."

"I've had those days." Xion returned the smile. "I'll do what I can to support you. Seems we're being put on a mission together today."

"Alright, I'll try not to slow you down then." The smile turned more genuine and the two stepped up to Saix to get their assignment.

They had to track down heartless in Agrabah. Normally these were the easy missions but today Roxas just couldn't find the energy to put up much of a fight. Xion wound up doing most of the work, and it was a situation neither of them were used to.

"Damn this thing is annoying." Roxas grit her teeth blocking another oncoming attack from the heartless shaped like a spinning ball with spikes. She skidded back, raised up the keyblade to strike and felt as if she were raising a fifty ton boulder over her head. She went to her knees panting.

"Roxas look out!" Xion rushed the heartless jumping and cutting through the heartless with a force that surprised stare at her own keyblade blinking. "Whoa… how did I… oh Roxas!" She hurried over and knelt down beside her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just tired." She let her keyblade fade and she held her head. "I need a minute to catch my breath. I don't know what's with me lately, everytime I try to use the keyblade I run out of steam so quickly."

"You look really sick, Roxas. We completed the mission, we should RTC before you collapse or something."

"Yeah… I've been pulling a lot of missions so maybe I'm just overworked." She let Xion help her up. "Thanks. I'm sorry you had to do most of the work today."

"Don't worry about it… come on let's get out of here." Xion walked beside her, making sure to keep a close eye on her. When they returned to the warp she watched Roxas walk into the fog and paused to collect her thoughts.

"Hey you coming?" Roxas poked her head back through the warp.

"Huh? Oh yeah, coming!" She jogged in behind her. The two of them reported in before going to Twilight Town for ice cream. As they sat and ate Xion watched Roxas… the fatigue ebbed some and the smile back on her face. "You sure you're alright?"

Roxas paused and had to let out a little laugh. She rubbed the back of her head smiling warmly.

"This is getting a little weird."

"Huh?"

"Since when do you ever worry about me?" Roxas held her empty ice cream stick staring down at the blank.

"Hey, what do you mean weird?"

"Well, usually I'm the one worrying over you. I don't think it's ever been the other way around before." She looked back over at Xion. "It just feels strange… that's all."

"Roxas…" Xion slowly turned her gaze back to the sunset. She wasn't sure how to respond, wasn't sure what to say… so she said the first thing that came to mind. "Of course I worry about you."

It made her relieved, Roxas realized and had to hold in the the tears of relief. She felt a puzzle piece slowly clicking into place.

"I'm happy you're back, Xion. Even if it was rough on you… I've missed you."

"Mmmm I missed you too." Xion glanced back in wonder and then pouted a little. "Is Axel coming today?"

Roxas' face fell and she turned her head away.

"Hmmph, who cares?"

"Roxas?" Xion frowned at that. "You didn't fight, did you?"

"Tch, I'm still angry with him for what he did. I mean how could he do it?" She whirled back her blue eyes blazing with anger. "How could that jerk attack you like that?"

"That jerk? You mean Axel?" Xion turned her eyes downward. A part of her kinda hoped she and Axel would drift apart so she could have a chance with him… but the thought of the three of them breaking apart over her selfish actions outweighed it. "I wouldn't be sitting here with you if he hadn't done that you know."

Roxas cast her eyes downward.

"So?"

"So?" Xion laughed a little patting her shoulder. "Roxas, Axel's your best friend… no he's more than that to you. You said you love him didn't you?"

"I'm a nobody…" Roxas said with some spite and sadness. "How do I know what real love is?"

"Roxas…" Xion said with a scolding tone. "Come on… you know as well as I do that it's just not the same without the three of us."

Roxas sighed heavily, her eyes going sad and pained.

"No…" She pulled her legs to her chest and buried her face in her knees. Xion lay a hand on her back stroking it comfortingly. "It's really not."

 **~Later~**

Xion had managed to track Axel down. He was casually strolling down the slope of the castle and she jogged up to meet him.

"Wait! Axel!"

Axel paused his walk. He'd been in a foul mood for days, and didn't feel much like socializing… but managed to put a wry smile on his face.

"Something on your mind, Xion?"

"It's… it's about Roxas." She panted catching her breath. She'd wandered all over looking for him and was glad she caught him when she did. "There's something wrong with her. You don't know what, do you?" She watched Axel's eyes harden. "Roxas says the keyblade is tiring her out… and today I've felt stronger than I ever have, I beat a powerful heartless all by myself without breaking a sweat."

Axel was at his limit. He didn't want to play the nice guy anymore. He hadn't spoken to Roxas in days, but he'd seen the fatigue and drain on her face everyday before missions. Anger boiled inside and he clenched his fists at his side.

"You would know more about Roxas than I do by now."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Xion said with confusion on her face.

"Well what do you think, Xion?" He said with an exasperated sigh. Hadn't she caught on yet? She'd done all that digging, looked into her own background… and yet she couldn't put two and two together. "Could it be because you're a puppet?"

Xion's face went pale and shock flickered in her eyes. She looked up at Axel frightened. How had he found out? Or had he always known who she was?

"You're a replica… one created to copy Roxas' powers. So if you see Roxas' powers getting weaker while yours are getting stronger… it could be you're robbing more of her power than yo ought to be." He said with obvious disdain in his voice.

"I… oh…" she covered her mouth. "What can I… no what SHOULD I do?" She looked up at him her eyes pleading.

"You gotta think for yourself. If you continue just taking orders then all you'll ever be is a puppet." At her look of despair the anger in him subsided and he sighed heavily. Stepping closer ge took her shoulders in his hands. "You and I both know you're more than that. We're best friends... you, Roxas, and I."

Xion looked up at him, emotions swirling in her eyes. Axel gave her his usual cocky smile and had that fluttering returning to her chest.

"Got it memorized?"

"Sure." She smiled.

The moment was a tender one, and one that seemed to save their friendship. Unbeknownst to them Roxas watched from the platform above, saw the intimacy and care and had to hold her chest as pain just erupted there. She ran back to her room the tears back and flooding down. What the hell was this feeling she had? What was going on inside her? Why did it bother her so much that Xion and Axel were becoming close…

She slammed the door shut to her room and collapsed on the floor. With no apparent rhyme or reason big heavy sobs escaped her lips and she curled into a ball on the floor just letting out everything that was going on inside her, hoping it would somehow ease the pain.

"What is…" she sobbed out clutching her chest. "What is this?"

 **~Day 352~**

Roxas buried herself in work. She met up with Axel and Xion for ice cream but kept quiet most of the time. She listened to Axel and Xion talk back and forth around her… and wondered if it would be better if she just stopped coming and let the two of them bond.

She glanced at Axel briefly as she came into the mission room. While he and Xion conversed, her eyes watched his face go through a variety of expressions as he told her about his latest frustrating mission. He'd once looked at her like that… had once openly talked with her like that.

The pain started to resurface and she quickly averted her gaze letting out a shaky sigh. No… she couldn't think of that right now. She had a job to do.

"Work, work, work…" she murmured to herself and stepped up to Saix.

"Roxas…" Saix narrowed his eyes on hers. "I have a very important mission for you and your keyblade today."

Axel's ears perked up at that and he narrowed his gaze on Saix. He knew exactly what kind of special mission had been in the works, and wasn't about to let Roxas fall into the trap.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you sure about that?" Axel stepped up suddenly breaking the conversation.

"Axel?" Roxas looked up at him shocked. They barely had spoken a word to each other after the incident with Xion, so to have him suddenly speak up for her made her both curious and happy.

"You sure you want to go on this mission?" He turned concerned eyes to her and reached stroking her cheek. "You've been looking really tired lately. Maybe you should take a day off."

"You don't get to decide that." Saix countered narrowing his eyes. "Besides, shouldn't you be concentrating on your own mission."

"Hey listen-" Axel started to retort but Roxas' soft touch to his shoulder, and sweet smile had him halting.

"I appreciate your concern Axel," She let out a relaxed sigh and lifted on her toes to kiss his cheek, much to the disgust of Saix. "I'll be fine." She stepped away and turned towards the warp.

"...but Roxas-" he took her hand started to pull her back but Saix stepped between them.

"Get back to work, Axel. This is not a social hour." He glared, silently warning him to not interfere. Axel's eyes look pained as he stared at Roxas' disappearing form. He glanced back saw Xion was gone, having already left for her own mission.

He jerked away from Saix and opened up a portal stepping through it. He was supposed to go to Neverland for recon… but instead stepped into the shadowy world of Halloween Town.

"What am I doing?" He asked himself holding his head. "I keep interfering like this… I'm the one that's gonna get turned into a dusk."

In the distance he could hear the sounds of a fight and his chest tightened. He shut his eyes turning his back preparing to leave and let things play out… but the sound of Roxas' scream had him cursing and racing through the town.

He darted through the townsfolk, and burst through the gates leading into the cemetery and lost his breath. Xion sent Roxas flying with a blast of magic from her blade. She rolled on the ground quickly putting out the fire and panted heavily. Despite having more battle experience and knowledge Roxas was losing… her lack of strength keeping her from performing well.

He noticed the purple haze in hers and Xion's eyes… the effects of the illusion. They had no idea they were fighting each other… and at the rate things were going Roxas was bound to lose.

"He's too strong…" he heard her whisper. "I have to finish it off before I lose anymore strength. It's all or nothing!"

He had to stop this! Axel realized and he clenched his fists around his chakrams. He couldn't lose Roxas, he just couldn't!

"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!" He jumped between the two of them, his chakrams raised up blocking the finishing blows from both of the fighters. The illusion broke and both Xion and Roxas stared at each other dumbfounded.

"R-Roxas?" Xion blinked and backed away. "What are you doing here? What happened to the heartless I was fighting?"

"The.. .what?" Roxas panting, her face pale and she took a knee using the last dregs of her magic to cast cure on herself.

"It was an illusion." Axel explained. "This whole mission was a set up to make you two fight each other."

Roxas looked up at Axel her eyes wide. So that's why he had tried to stop her from going. He knew that Saix had set her up.

"Axel…"

"Come on…" he held out his hand to her. When she took it, their palms fitting in a way that made him feel complete inside. "Let's get you both out of here."

 **~Ask Briry~**

 **Briry: Day 352…. WE'RE GETTING SO CLOSE! The climax is nearing and soon the end will fall upon our anti-heroes. Be sure to keep an eye out for the last few chapters and the epilogue conclusion to this tragic tale.**

 **Next Chapter: The Final Breakup**


	15. The Final Breakup

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Chapter 15: The Final Breakup**

"I know we've seen our share of sunsets… but today's puts them all to shame." Xion said with a soft smile. "If only things could stay like this forever."

After the showdown in Halloween town all three members were left pondering over why the organization saw fit to eliminate one of the keyblade wielders. It left an uncomfortable tension, one they all desperately tried to ignore by just being together, and enjoying the time they had.

"What if we just all just took off?" Roxas said suddenly unable to take the heavy atmosphere anymore. Both Xion and Axel paused eating their ice cream to stare owlishly at her. "If we ran away… then the three of us could always be together."

Axel sighed heavily and Xion lowered her gaze.

"...but we have nowhere to run."

Roxas sighed as well and folded her hands tightly over her ice cream stick.

"Yeah… I guess you're right."

"What's important…" Axel spoke up suddenly, his eyes looking far off into the sunset giving him a thoughtful, almost wise expression. "... isn't that we hang out with each other everyday."

"As long as we keep each other in our thoughts we'll never be apart right?" Xion smiled. "We've got it memorized Axel."

"Good." Axel grinned. Xion smiled back and looked down at her ice cream, she held it protectively as if to cherish it.

"I'll have these moments memorized for a long time… forever."

Roxas looked between the two of them, the soft and affectionate look shared between them bringing her an uncomfortable twist in her gut. She took another quick bite of her ice cream letting the brain freeze cover the pain in her stomach.

She felt Axel's fingers reach up and stroke her hair. Her eyes widened a moment then nearly teared. She closed them, just letting the sensation of his stroking fingers soothe away any pain.

"Me too...forever."

 **~Day 353~**

"What an unlikely trio… me, Xion, and Xigbar?" Axel glanced at his group for the mission, and felt the warning bells go off in his head. "Not everyday we get to go on a mission with Number 2 himself."

"Yeah," Xion agreed and glanced back as Roxas walked into the room. Roxas stiffened when she saw the line up and she clenched a fist in her chest at the way she felt cut off from it all.

"Huh?" Roxas slowly approached them. "You three are paired together?"

"You've your own mission, Roxas." Saix told her with a hint of annoyance. He would not allow Axel interfere in his plans again. He'd gone through the trouble of having Xigbar keep an eye on those two so that he could arrange for Roxas' demise.

"I can't trade with Xigbar or something?" She said with a slight pout.

"Do you really need Axel to hold your hand through every mission." He told her with a hauty jerk of his nose.

Her eyes narrowed on Saix knowing full well what he had planned. She'd have to stay on her toes and do her best to complete this mission. For whatever reason the organization didn't want her around anymore… or at least Saix didn't. She clenched her fists.

"I never said that… and if this is the way you want it then fine." I'll show you my worth, Saix. Her eyes spoke volumes and her back went up as she stepped through the dark. Just you watch.

 **~With Xion, Axel, and Xigbar~**

"I'm worried, Axel." Xion admitted as they made their way through Wonderland. "Saix has it out for Roxas. This mission she's going on by herself could be really dangerous."

"I know… and Xigbar is here to personally see we don't interfere." Axel clenched his fists at his side.

"I don't understand… we're both needed to collect hearts. Why do they want to get rid of one of us?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Xigbar spoke up having caught the last snippet of the conversation. "Roxas is getting weaker day by day. Sooner or later she'll completely lose the ability to even wield a keyblade."

Xion froze and her back went rigid as she whirled around on Xigbar.

"What?"

"Don't pretend as if you didn't know." Xigbar said with a sadistic laugh. "You know you're a puppet meant to copy her powers… and now little by little you're draining Roxas of everything she is or was. The reason Saix is getting Roxas out of the picture, is so you can absorb what little is left of her and become the official thirteenth member of our organization."

So it really was true, Xion thought with panic bubbling in her throat. It was because of her that Roxas was growing weaker.

"Why though? You already had Roxas as a thirteenth member! Why do you need me? What purpose do I serve?"

"Xion…" Axel held up his hand his eyes narrowing on Xigbar.

"You're a puppet, what do you think puppets do? They obey their master's orders without question… bobbing along on their strings." He wiggled his fingers in the air. "We need someone who can obey orders without qualm… and the best part is, because you're both connected to Sora you're putting that girl out of commission. Soon the chosen one will be no more."

"What!?" Xion gasped and her eyes widened thinking of Riku, the sad expression on his face when he spoke of his best friend, and of the girl he loved.

 _Because you're holding onto her memories, Sora can't wake up. Namine is doing her best to untangle them from yours… but the tighter you hold onto your bonds here… the tighter you hold onto the memories you've stolen from her._

"Sora… this isn't right. I can't let this happen." She turned her back to the two boys to run, but gasped as Xigbar attacked and blocked her path.

"Just where do you think you're going, poppet?"

Xion's eyes went hard, and with apologetic look to Axel she brought up her blade and prepared to fight.

"I'm going back where I belong!"

 **~With Roxas~**

Roxas panted and fell to her knees. She'd finished off the last heartless with barely an ounce of energy left to spare. Sweat trickled down her temples and her eyes glazed over as she fought against the fatigue.

"Take that… Saix." She laughed bitterly and slowly got to her feet rocking a little on her heels before steadying. "Time to RTC."

She took her time getting back, resting and building up her strength as she walked back and stepped through the shadow door. She wondered if Xion and the others were back yet. It seemed kinda pointless to leave Twilight Town if they were just gonna come back for ice cream… but she had to check in and give a report… and beside she wanted to see the look on Saix's face when she came back victorious.

Feeling smug she walked through the portal. She raised a brow when it brought her to the staircase rather than the mission room. Ah well, Saix expected her to fail so he didn't pay attention to the drop off zone. With a shrug she walked up the steps and to the room… and stepped into a lecture zone.

"Explain yourself, Axel!" Saix demanded with a sneer.

"The old man needs to get his eye checked. She just got away." Axel explained with a casual shrug.

Roxas looked around for Xion and wondered what happened.

"I'll give him that, can't toss the blame around." Xigbar said just as casual.

Saix grunted and eyed Roxas. Damn it, why did nothing ever go as planned.

"Now we're left with the one we can't use."

"Excuse me?" Roxas' brow rose. "Did something happen?"

Saix didn't answer, instead he walked away miffed. Xigbar had to chuckle and he looked to Roxas who still had the questioning brow quirked.

"Xion flew the coop again." Xigbar said with a chuckle. "Flamsilocks here couldn't trouble himself to clip her wings." He jerked a thumb at Axel who crossed his arms.

"Didn't we just go over this?" He said with mild irritation.

"Huh?" Her eyes widened and she looked at Axel. "What does he mean, Axel?"

"Your friend here just stood there sucking his thumb while Xion walked right off." Xigbar shrugged. "I'm going back to my room… have fun with your little lover's spat."

He walked away practically whistling at the drama about to be unleashed.

"Axel… tell me what happened."

"There's nothing to tell. It's just like he said, I just sat there sucking my thumb." Axel sighed heavily and looked down at his hand, eyes conflicted.

"I'm asking you why you did that and you know it!" She came around him wanting to see his face. When he jerked his head to prevent himself from looking directly at her she seethed. "Axel!"

"Just drop it!" He shouted at her, his eyes saddening. "Please, Roxas. Just… drop it." He walked away from her and Roxas held her chest the pain and jealousy returning. Why did he look like that? Why had he let Xion go? What was going on between the two of them?

"Axel…" She grit her teeth and ran up to him yanking him back. "Stop running and answer me!"

Axel was about to walk away from her… was ready to flat out ignore her but he saw the pain and confliction on her face, and he sighed giving in.

"Xion… is a mirror that reflects you."

"What? You're not making any sense."

"Xion, is a puppet created to duplicate your powers." He told her crossing his arms over his chest.

"Your'e starting to sound like Saix, Xion's a person not a puppet!"

"She's a mirror made to reflect you… but when I looked into that mirror," Axel recalled Xion's hood falling, and the face that he'd seen wasn't the image he'd seen before… but of one he'd recognized completely. "It wasn't you I saw."

 **~Beast's Castle~**

Xion stepped through the black and out onto the pathway. She immediately spotted Riku, and should have figured he'd find her.

"Riku…"

"Did you find the answer?" He asked calmly, his heart rolling in his chest as he stared into her face. He saw the mesh of himself, Kairi, and Sora blended there and knew she was running out of time before the merge was complete.

"Yes… I'm on the verge of losing everything I ever cared about." Xion confessed holding her chest. "I'm hurting Axel, I'm weakening Roxas… and Sora is-"

"I know… so what do you want to do?" He stepped up to her. "I can't play nice anymore Xion. I want to help you… but-"

"I know…" she returned with a sad smile. "Tell me what I should do, Riku."

"Go to the mansion in Twilight Town. There's a girl there named Namine. Talk to her, she'll set things straight."

"Mmm okay… thanks, Riku."

 **~Day 355: World that never Was~**

An emergency meeting of the organization had brought everything to light. What Axel had tried to explain to her the day before now all came together in Roxas' mind.

Replica Program… Xion was a replica meant to copy her powers. Axel knew about this, had probably known about it for a long time and had hidden it from her. Why?

Xemnas said she and Xion were connected through someone named Sora… but who is Sora? If Xion was only a puppet, then what about her? Was she a puppet too?

"Who am I?" She rolled out of bed, and almost like a zombie she wandered the halls and towards the mission room. She immediately spotted Axel, and everything else around them disappeared.

"Axel…" She confronted him swallowing the large lump in her throat. Pain… god it hurt so much now that things were finally piecing together. Still there were too many questions left unanswered. If he was hiding things about Xion… what was he hiding about her? What did he know? She needed answers, she needed an explanation. "Did you find Xion yet?"

"No… you know it isn't going to be that easy." Axel said

"I suppose not…" she looked to the side, it was too painful to look at him.

"Roxas…" His chest ached seeing the broken look on her face and he stepped towards her to comfort but she backed away shaking her head.

"Have you known about Xion this whole time?" Take it slow, Roxas. She told herself trying to keep calm. One question at a time.

"No… not the whole time." Axel confessed wishing he didn't feel this wall that was separating them.

"Since when then?" She asked, glad she managed to keep her voice calm despite the storm waiting to erupt inside.

"I can't exactly remember when."

"Didn't get it memorized huh?" She said with bitter humor and lowered her head. She felt the threads of her control beginning to snap and she clenched her fists at her side. "Axel… who am I really?"

Taken aback by the question Axel turned to face her fully. He didn't quite have the answer so he remained silent, watching Roxas run through what she knew and work out the questions she needed to know.

"I'm special like Xion, I know that." She lifted her clenched fists and opened her palms. "...but the organization wanted me out of the picture. Am I right?"

"Yeah… they did." Axel said proud he was able to keep his own voice calm.

"I guess…" she felt the hitch in her breath as the relization hit her and increased the pain in her chest. "It's because Xion copied my and the keyblade's powers, and the organization didn't need me anymore." Xion was her replacement. She would be the keyblade's chosen now… she would be the thirteenth member. No one in the organization would care if she had to disappear in order for that to happen.

Her eyes lifted up to Axel's face. What about Axel? Would he go to care for her now that her powers were fading? The angry twist in her gut and chest leaving her broken inside.

"I guess you feel the same way."

"You're wrong about that," Axel said angry that she would even think it. "Xion's a friend, but you're the one whose special to me Roxas."

"Special?" She laughed bitterly. "Special? You still can't say it can you? You still think I made it up, or am confusing my memories or something? I love you, Axel! Or I did… now I just." she clenched a hand over her chest wanting desperately to hit something. "I don't want to feel anything anymore."

"Roxas…" he grabbed her hand when she turned to leave but she smacked it away whirling around on him.

"Let go of me! I'm tired of your half truths, I'm tired of your secrets! I know you know who I am but you refuse to tell me just like you didn't tell me about Xion! What is so wrong with wanting some answers?"

"Knowing the truth isn't going to make things better, trust me!" Axel tried to argue.

"I can't!" She screamed at him the tears streaming down now. "I can't trust you anymore! I can't trust anyone!" She turned on her heel. "If you won't give me answers, then I'll find them out on my own!"

Axel watched her go pain in his chest. He should go… he should just let her go. He had his own mission to complete… he needed to find Xion, he needed to bring her back and follow orders. If he didn't they'd eradicate him next…

"Roxas…" He cursed and banged his fist on the window staring out into the dark. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

Roxas stormed into her room a fire lit under her. She ripped off her cloak and pulled the bag of clothes she'd bought in Twilight Town out. They were the only things she owned aside from the items the organization gave her for missions. She slipped them on and debated on tossing the cloak in the trash… but she'd need it to walk through the darkness. So instead she slipped it over her clothes and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

Lifting the bag she grabbed the accessories and paused when something else slipped out. She picked up the ice cream stick, the word "Winner" etched across it. Her eyes tear as Axel's words came to mind.

" _Hey I almost forgot. You should be checking your stick to see if it says winner."_

" _What's that about?"_

" _What do you get if you win?"_

" _I tell yah… that's a good question… but it's gotta be something nifty if you're a winner right?"_

"Axel…" She clutched the stick to her chest. Eyes hard she put the stick in an envelope and left it for Axel to find. She wanted nothing more to do with him. He would have Xion now, and the two of them would be fine without her. The organization wanted nothing more to do with her… she she'll leave, and take all her memories and feelings with her.

As she approached the castle exit she lifted her eyes and glared at Saix who blocked the exit.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

"I'm doing you all a favor and erasing myself from the picture." She told him boldly stepping forward. "Step aside, Saix."

"You're crossing a line, you foolish girl. Either return to your room… or be eradicated."

"Humph…" She extended her hand her keyblade appearing. "Are those really my only two choices? Because I see a third option for the taking."

She launched, their weapons meeting, sparks flying and the two of them duked it out. Roxas' eyes flared with fury and frustration and all the pent up aggression she'd build up ove rthe course of time was finally released in this bout.

Despite his experience, despite his berserker strength, Roxas' resolve was stronger. She cracked her blade over the back of his head knocking him down and making her huff out a laugh.

"God! I've been dying to do that for weeks!" She let her blade evaporate and she strut out of the castle feeling invigorated. A weight was lifting, and she could feel it the farther away she got from the castle. This was a new start for her… a new life.

"Your mind is made up?"

Axel's voice halted her and she glanced over at him. The weight returned the moment she looked in his eyes.

"Why did the keyblade choose me? I have to know."

"You can't turn on the organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" Axel shouted at her with desperation. His eyes bore into hers, begging her not to leave.

Roxas saw his expression… and just wondered if it was all another lie.

"No one would miss me." Roxas said convinced that there wasn't a person in the organization who cared for her. She walked away from him tears dripping down her face as she felt the final break in their relationship and the wall coming up to separate them for good.

"That's not true!" He reached out for her, watching the darkness tunnell around her and her form vanish. His hand fell and he went to his knees knowing he'd lost her. "...I would."

 _ **~ASk Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: Been a long time coming. Was it worth the wait? I've only got two chapters left in this story so I hope you're all looking forward to it!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Xion's Sacrifice**_


	16. Xion's Sacrifice

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Chapter 16: Xion's Sacrifice**

 _ **~Day 356: Twilight Town Mansion~**_

Namine smiled as the figure in front of her. Though it was her first time seeing this person, she knew exactly who they were.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Xion."

Xion removed her hood and lifted her head with solemn eyes.

"Namine… can you see my face?"

"Yes…" Namine motioned for her to sit.

"Then…" Xion sat and folded her hands in her lap. "What do you think I should do?" She needed guidance, needed someone to tell her what road to take, what actions to make. It was the first time Xion truly felt like a puppet. She felt as if she'd her strings and didn't know how to move or function.

"What do you want to do?"

Want? Xion looked down at her hands then up at the wall that held Namine's pictures. There was a depiction of her Roxas and Axel hanging, and it made Xion sigh heavily.

"At first I just wanted to be with Axel and Roxas forever…" She touched her temple. "Then I started to realize that these memories aren't even really mine."

"You're not Sora, and you're not Roxas." Namine said definitively. "You're the memory of Riku and Kairi, Two people whom Sora holds closest to her heart. Because of this, your identity has always been in fluctuation with Roxas who holds a special connection with her."

"I understand now… it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that I need to go back where I came from." Xion nodded her head decisively. "I belong with Sora… but I'm not sure what I should do in order to go back to her."

"Alright, but Xion… you know if you give your memories back to Sora you will disappear. Instead of having memories of your own you will be connected through others memories. No one will remember you, because there will be no you to remember. With all the powers I possess I can't keep even one piece of the memory called "you."

The first stab of fear hit Xion in the gut and she had to let out a shaky breath to calm herself. With eyes full of determination she lifted her chin and gave a nod.

"I know I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure. I belong with Sora… and I know Roxas does as well… but I don't think she'd understand just yet."

"Mmmm Roxas will need to reach that conclusion on her own, as of right now she can't feel Sora just yet." Namine nodded her head fully understanding.

"Can you look after her for me? You won't be alone, I've asked someone else to as well." She closed her eyes picturing Riku who she knew was just outside guarding the area.

"Mmm of course… well if you're ready. Let's go see Sora."

Xion nodded and started to stand. She let out a little gasp as Diz suddenly appeared his shrouded face grim.

"Namine, the organization has found us and they're almost here." DIz sneered at Xion now. "This blasted puppet has led them right to our doorstep. See what you get for trusting it?"

"Leave this to me!" Xion said and hurried out the door. "I'll make them leave!"

"Wait, Xion!" Namine stood about to go after her but Diz held up a hand.

"It's too late, we can't afford for them to find you again. Go back down to Sora and seal yourself in." Ansem looked up at Riku who phased in. "It's almost time, you know what to do."

"Right…" Riku nodded and looked to Namine.

"Riku… if Xion gets captured she and Roxas will be forced to clash. They might destroy each other." Namine said with worry.

"We can't play it safe anymore, Namine. That battle was always inevitable, and we were fools thinking we could stop it." Ansem told her assuring her out the door and towards the lab. The three of them stepped into the white room watching Sora float. Namine let out a whimpering sound holding her chest.

"Don't worry, Namine." Riku assured her and stepped towards the capsule. "There will be a winner, and whichever one survives will take on Sora's memories." He lay his hand on the glass, his heart reaching out for Sora's wishing he could feel just a hint of her light. "If Roxas is anything like Sora then she'll be the one to come out on top."

He stroked over the glass, over Sora's sleeping face. He would do anything to see her open those eyes, to watch the life come back to her face and light his way through the darkness.

"...and I'll be there waiting for her."

 _ **~Outside~**_

Xion looked around for signs of the organization and gasped when Axel was the one that stepped through the darkness. Of all the organization members, it was this encounter she feared most.

"Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?" Already in a foul mood for losing Roxas, Axel closed the portal and stare at the other half of his circle of friends. "You've really made a mess of things, Xion."

"Axel…" She clenched a fist over her chest. Just seeing his face again brought her all kinds of ache. Were these her feelings… or the feelings she'd absorbed from Roxas whom she knew loved Axel more than anyone? She shut her eyes tightly. She couldn't go on guessing anymore. She needed all of this to end, whether her way, or theirs.

"Xion, what are you planning to do?"

"I've decided to go back where I belong."

"Well to be honest I always felt that was for the best…" Axel crossed his arms scowling at her. The girl in front of him had caused nothing but problems for him and the organization… but he'd befriended her, had come to care for her because of the connection she had with Roxas. "...still it really bugs me. Something about this just stinks!"

"It's for the good of everyone." Xion told him, her voice thick with tears and had Axel's belly clutching.

"How the hell do you know that? Tch, everyone thinks they're right." The superior thought he was right collecting hearts to make Kingdom Hearts… Saix thought he was right for obeying the superior's orders without question… Roxas felt she was right when she told him that she loved him and shoe bitter anger when he'd had conflictions and doubts of whether what he was feeling was true or not. How did anyone know what was right and what was wrong?

"This IS right."

"THEY'RE GOING TO DESTROY YOU!" Axel snapped and gasped when he saw Xion raise her blade in defense. In that moment Xion's face faded away and all he saw was Roxas.

" _Xion copied my and the keyblade's powers, and the organization didn't need me anymore… I guess you felt the same way."_

" _Special? You still can't say it can you? You still think I made it up, or am confusing my memories or something? I love you, Axel!"_

" _I can't trust you anymore! I can't trust anyone! If you won't give me answers, then I'll find them out on my own!"_

" _No one would miss me…"_

Axel couldn't take it anymore. The pain and rage built up and he glared into the piercing blue eyes that were a copy of his girlfriend's.

"What's your problem!? You two think you can just do whatever you want? Well I'm sick of it."

Axel didn't want to lose the last piece of Roxas he had. He didn't want to let Xion go now that Roxas had taken herself out of the picture. He needed something, anything to hold onto that feeling… even if it was just a puppet.

"Go on you keep running, but I'll always be there to bring you back!" Axel let his fire rage and his chakrams appear.

As he and Xion fought the illusion of Roxas faded, but the determination remained. He'd bring her back… He'd find Roxas and bring her back! No way was he going to lose the only person who made him truly believe he had a heart.

 _ **~Day 357~**_

For nearly a full day Roxas wandered around in her street clothes just watching the town come to life around her. She said she'd find answers but didn't even know where to begin looking. She debated on approaching Hayner, Pence and Olette… but always seemed to shy away at the last minute. The three of them were having so much fun together… she didn't want to be a downer.

"I guess not all friendships fall apart." she held her chest sighing and looked up at the clock tower. She felt the pull of it beckon her, as if asking her to come. Tugging her cloak back on she wandered back up the street to the tower… and took her place at the top looking out at the sunset.

"A full day away from the organization… and I'm right back here again." She laughed bitterly and pulled her legs up her her chest burying her face in her knees. "Tch, where did I think I could go? Man what a joke!"

Xion watched Roxas for a moment, her face hidden behind the cloak. Axel had beaten her, had dragged her unconscious body back to the castle… and by the time Xion awoke nearly all of Sora's memories lay inside her. All that was left was for her to absorb Roxas, and her transformation would be complete.

Knowing what she had to do Xion stepped up and took a seat next to Roxas. It took the young girl a moment to realize she was no longer alone and she sat up gasping.

"Xion!" Surprised, nad strangely happy Roxas smiled at her friend. "I thought you-" she drifted off when Xion handed her an ice cream. Her lips spread into a soft smile and she laughed cutely. "Thank You…"

The town was quiet underneath them. For once she didn't hear the sounds of laughter, but merely the rapid breeze that brushed her long hair.

"Roxas… I'm out of time." Xion spoke, tears apparent in her voice. Roxas lifted her head up from eating her ice cream. Her eyes widen as Xion stood and lifted the hood.

"What?"

"Even if I'm not ready… I have to make this choice." Xion held her chest. "You've poured so many memories into me, given me so much… that I feel I'm about to overflow." She turned towards her, and for the first time Roxas looked into the face of her somebody.

"Look at me Roxas, who do you see?"

"I see… me…" Roxas said breathlessly and stood to face her. "Only… you're not me are you?"

"No… This is what I was always meant to become. I'm almost ready now, Roxas. This puppet will have to play her part." Xion turned back towards the setting sun, her brown hair braided neatly over her shoulder, and attached on the bottom tying it together were two dangling yellow stars. Roxas held out a hand taking the stars and eying them frightfully. This shape… how did she know this shape.

"Don't you see, Roxas?" Xion said with a little tear. "This is her… this is Sora."

"Sora?" So Xion wasn't HER replacement… she was Sora's. Who was this Sora? Why was she so important to the organization? How was she connected to this girl?

Xion smiled softly then much to Roxas' surprise stepped out onto open air as if it were a stone path. She slowly turned to Roxas, and lifted her hood to hide the sad expression on her face. It was time, she thought, it was time to walk her destined path no matter where it took her. Whether she would survive and go on to play the puppet… or be destroyed and return to Sora… her destiny now lay out in front of her.

"You're next Roxas… I need to make you a part of me too." She stretched her hand out, dark power filling her making Sora's blue eyes go sadistic and blood thirsty. "Don't you see? This is why I was created!"

"No… I don't see…" Roxas' eyes hardened. "I don't see why you're going along with their plans for you. You're not me, you're not Sora… you're your own person Xion!"

"That may be… but the Xion you know and are friends with was never meant to exist! She and all your memories of her will be destroyed after today. Now fight me, Roxas… or succumb to me!" Xion screamed and the dark power took over her.

Sora's form became encased in shadow and over it was a shelled armor that made Roxas think of the dusks. So this was Xion's true form?

"I don't know what they've done to you Xion… but if it's a fight you want, then fine. I'll show you who you really are!" Roxas released her keyblade… and let Xion's dark power teleport them through the worlds.

Their battle raged on through the worlds… each path awakening a new form inside Xion, and a new power. Roxas was always the better fighter, the better strategist… but her power had become waned and only one thing was fueling her, and keeping her going.

Through the cracks and parrys and blows Roxas could hear Xion's voice cry out, as if asking to be saved.

"You're in pain, Xion… you don't know who you are and it's hurting you. Why can't you see what I see? Why can't you see the person who I've always been able to talk to, to laugh with… to have ice cream with? Where's my best friend!?" Roxas screamed in agony, and lost her balance as Xion's dark power ricocheted them through space once again. She felt familiar surroundings of Twilight Town and lifted her head up to see Xion's final ultimate form… a towering no body with snake like limbs and hardened shell. Xion's breath panted through the mask… she was nearing her limit just as Roxas was.

"Wake up, Xion…" Roxas pleaded and lifted her blade racing at her. "Wake up and see who you truly are!" With one final blow Roxas struck Xion through the chest. The armor cracking and Xion's warped voice crying out as the last dregs of her power faded away into the darkness.

Roxas felt something snap free in her mind. She saw memories flashing through her mind in a high speed movie and then suddenly vanished as if having never been there. She stumbled and held her head.

"What happened? What am I…" she looked to the darkness and saw Xion stumble through and collapse forward to her knees. "Who… who are you?"

"You'll be… better off now, Roxas." Xion said weakly, her power gone and all that was left was the fluttering sensation of fading away. She collapsed and Roxas instinctively reached out to catch her.

"Did… Did I do this to you?" Roxas, still feeling a gray fog over her memories stare at this girl who lay limp in her arms.

"No… this was my choice." Xion told her and stared up at her best friend with a smile. "I chose to go away, now." She lifted a hand to touch Roxas' on her shoulder. Crystalized memories sprang forth, releasing from her body and going to their rightful place. "Better that.. Then let Xemnas have his way."

Xemnas… Roxas knew this name. What way? What did Xemnas do? What did he…

"I don't understand…"

"That's okay, Roxas." Xion smiled warmly. "I belong with Sora. I'm going back to be with her… but before I go, can I ask you for a favor?" She closed her eyes sighing softly. "All those hearts we collected… Kingdom Hearts… set them free."

"Kingdom Hearts? Free Them?" More and more Roxas was confused. Everything this girl was saying sounded familiar and yet she couldn't place from where. Roxas' thoughts drifted off and she gasped seeing Xion's body beginning to crystalize and crumble.

"What? You're…"

"It's too late for me to undo my mistakes… but you can't let Xemnas have Kingdom Hearts… you can't." Xion lifted a hand and stroked her face. "Goodbye, Roxas. I'm glad I got to meet you… and of course Axel too. Please tell him, I'm sorry, and never forget that you're both my very best friends. That's the truth."

"Axel…" Tears suddenly slipped down Roxas' face. "Xion, you're Xion. No!" She gasped as Xion's hand fell from her face. "Xion!" The name was so clear now she wondered why she'd let it fade so easily. Friends… Xion was her friend! They laughed together, watched sunsets together, and ate ice cream together."No!" Roxas begged shaking her head with disbelief. She lost Axel already, she couldn't lose another best friend! "No please don't go, Xion! Who will I have ice cream with?"

Xion let out a little laugh despite herself. She lifted her eyes to the sky sighing as the sunset turned the sky vivid with orange, blues, and purples. She could no longer hear Roxas' voice, could no longer feel the warmth of her hug… but instead let herself drift into the light and her consciousness fade away.

Roxas shook her head in disbelief as the form crumbled from her hands in a beautiful and hearbreaking display of light. She looked at her hands, and the single seashell clutched there.

"Xion…" Roxas grit her teeth and the tears just fell.

 _ **~In the Light~**_

Xion awoke to the warm light… her eyes slowly opening and she saw the circular platform below. She saw the familiar faces of Sora, Kairi and Riku there… and her lips curved as she knew now exactly where she was. She let herself touch down on it.

"Sora… so this is your heart."

"A part of it, anyway." A voice called from above and Xion's brow rose as she looked up. The glowing circular orb pulsed with light and then landed as a full bodied person. Xion's eyes went wide when she saw a familiar face.

"Roxas?"

Venus shook her head smiling.

"No… but I, just like you, am a part of her.." She walked around arms behind her back. "I'm a heart that had seeked refuge from the dark until I can find my way back. Sora, so kind and giving, has given me shelter here."

"I see… Sora's heart… it really is warm and bright." She held her chest smiling. "I'm glad I decided to be a part of it. It feels very much like home." Xion smiled.

"Sora's heart is filled with light… but unlike those of pure of heart, she too can succumb to darkness. It's because her heart is so open, and bright, that it attracts the shadows that always seem to linger around her." Venus' eyes went hard a moment and she turned to Xion. "You've seen there are those who want to take advantage of that, and use her talents for the dark."

"Xemnas… and the organization." Xion said frowning and she clenched her fists at her side. "We can't let that happen."

"You're right…" Venus smiled and lifted her head up proudly. "We can't. One day Roxas will join us here… it may take some time for her to accept it… but when she does the three of us must do what we can to protect Sora's heart… because without her, those that I've lost and those that have made sacrifices will remain lost forever. Sora's heart is the key to getting back everything we hold dear. We have to protect it no matter the cost." Venus held out her hand her smile wide and welcoming. "Are you with me, Xion?"

Xion stared at the hand unsure at first, but Venus' smile and warmth had her nodding in agreement. She held out her hand taking it in hers and giving it a shake.

"I'm with you."

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: Okay so I took some liberties… but hey this is fanfiction and I think this would have been an awesome addition to the storyline. Anyway next chapter is the final one, so thanks to all my readers for your support and look forward to the next Installment**_

" _ **If This is The End"**_

 _ **Coming soon…**_

 _ **Next Chapter: My Summer Vacation.**_


	17. My Summer Vacation Pt1

**If We Had Hearts**

 **Chapter 17: My Summer Vacation PT. 1**

Riku felt the rain patter against his cloak and could feel the cloudy mood that thickened the air. He watched Roxas from atop the highest tower in the square, watched her move and cut through her opponents with minimal effort. Xion's death had lit a fire under her and he had to stop her here, and retrieve Sora's memories… or he'd never get Sora back.

Roxas felt powerful, invincible. It was as if someone had flipped a switch in her mind and she was unlocking all manner of abilities with every cut of her dual blades. The heartless didn't stand a chance, she sliced through one after another letting the grief and anger build inside. She only paused when she sensed eyes on her. Lifting her head up she spotted the silver haired figure and grit her teeth thinking immediately of Xemnas.

"Come to stop me, have you? Well I'm not having it." She leapt atop the pillars and then ran up the side of the building as if she were running down a street.

Riku saw her coming and let himself fall over the edge. She tossed the blade at him hoping to cut him down straight off, but he caught it. Surprise lit her eyes and her stride hitched only a moment when she saw that the figure was not Xemnas.

Riku hissed out a breath, pain rupturing in his temple as memories flashed through his mind of Xion and quickly fizzled. He landed on the ground delirious a moment. For a moment he forgot where he was or what he was doing… but as he looked around, saw the heartless and the keyblade in his hand it quickly came back. Roxas, he was here for Roxas and for Sora's memories. As the heartless leapt at him instinct took over and he cut them down one by one.

Roxas made it to the top of the tower and turned to watch the stranger now take on the heartless. He used the keyblade as if he'd been born with it in his hand. Frowning she leapt from the building and joined him in eliminating the heartless. As the last of them faded to darkness the two of them squared off.

"Who are you?"

"What does it matter," calmer now he faced her. She wore her hood up and was thankful for it. He was sure he'd hesitate if he looked into her blue eyes… Sora's eyes. "I'm here for you."

"Why are you trying to stop me?" She didn't even know this guy? What the hell did he want with her?

"I want back the rest of Sora's memories."

Sora… there was that name again. There was the name that was taking everything away from her. She grit her teeth as anger boiled up in her. Sora took Xion away from her… took Axel away from her. This Sora caused all kinds of hurt, and confusion inside and she was sick of it.

"Enough about Sora!"

She looked up at the heart-shaped moon. Her plan was clear, her goal within reach.

"I'm going to set Kingdom Hearts free, and then everything will be the way that it was." They'd have hearts, they'd finally become their own people and the three of them could be together again.

"You mean Xion… it's a struggle just to remember her name anymore." He tapped his temple and frowned at her. "Either way… I can't let you go do anything crazy."

"Like you can stop me. I'm going to free kingdom hearts, and then I'm going to find Sora." She twirled the blade in hand and pointed at him. "I want Xion back… I WANT MY LIFE BACK!" She screamed at him.

"If you try to touch Kingdom hearts, the last the you'll get is your life back." Riku tried to persuade. "The organization will destroy you."

"Enough! Get out of my way!" She rushed him. Riku brought up the blade just in time to block and match against her but the force of it sent him skidding back. He hissed and quickly brought up a barrier to block the next string of cuts she launched his way.

She was so powerful… how had she gotten so strong? Even Sora wasn't this powerful when she faced against Ansem in the realm of darkness. He dodged and parried, their blades matching blow for blow now. He didn't want to harm her, didn't want to destroy the body… but if he didn't give it everything he was gonna lose.

He needed to think of something fast, needed to make her lose her cool so he could catch her off guard. When the next blade caught him and sent him falling back he sneered up at her.

"Why? Why do you have the keyblade?"

Roxas hesitated, she stare at the blade as those familiar questions plagued her… but then she grit her teeth.

"Shut up!" She move to make the final blow but Riku's blade was already up and she let out a short scream as the hit sent her flying backward.

She lay still a moment closing her eyes and whimpering some as the memory of xion, faint but still strong in her heart, pulsed inside her. She thought of Axel, of his smile and warmth. She remembered sitting atop the tower with both of them, laughing and sharing stories of the day's adventures. She couldn't let it go, she couldn't let something so precious and vital to her life just fade away. She wouldn't let this stranger stop her. She was stronger than him, she was more determined than him… she would not let him beat her!

She heard him stab the keyblade beside her head and her eyes snapped open. She swung her blade out narrowly missing him and took the other in hand. Eyes fierce she squared off.

"Why don't you quit!?"

Damn she was stubborn… but then again…

"Come on, Sora." He smiled a bit recalling how he'd often taunted her, teased her. The memory of it was both a comfort and an ache. "I thought you were stronger than that."

"Huh?" For a moment Roxas looked confused but then her face changed, and her mouth and body moved all on its own. "Get real, Riku! Look which one of us is winning."

The moment the words left her lips Roxas held her mouth and shook a little. Where the hell had that come from? Riku? Was that this guy's name? Her eyes met his and she saw him smiling at her. There was an uncomfortable fluttering sensation in her chest… one she'd only ever felt with Axel… who the hell WAS this guy?

"So it's true… you really are her nobody." Riku smirked and crossed his arms. He watched irrittation come across her face, and felt the twist in his chest from how much she looked like Sora just now.

"What are you talking about? I am me! NO BODY ELSE!" She rushed him again and Riku barely had time to put up a guard before she attacked. He let out a shout and went to his knees. Damn it… she was too strong.

" _Please Riku, you have to stop her!"_

Riku heard Namine's voice in his mind and knew she was right. If he lost here, there was no way he'd ever get the real Sora back.

"How many times do I have to beat you?!" Roxas snarled at him.

"Alright…" resigned, Riku knew this was the only course he could take. He had to save Sora… he had to do whatever he could to bring her back. It didn't matter if he'd never be able to see her, hold her, or touch her again. It didn't matter so long as she was safe. "You leave me with no other choice."

"What?"

"I have to release the power in my heart… the dark power that I've been holding back." Riku removed the blindfold from his eyes. Roxas could remember those eyes… they were the eyes that haunted her dreams, the eyes she'd seen when Xion had kissed her.

"What… What are you doing?" Roxas stepped backward truly afraid now. "Who are you?!"

"I have to do this, for her… even if it changes me forever…" the dark power rose and Roxas could hear a voice scream in her head.

 _NO RIKU PLEASE! DON'T DO IT!_

"WAIT STOP!" Roxas held out her hand, and couldn't explain why tears suddenly streamed down her cheeks. "STOP IT RIKU!"

As the dark power emerged Riku opened his eyes, and Roxas watched in horror as those beautiful teal orbs went gold and his body transformed. She couldn't move, couldn't breathe… she just stare at the figure known as Ansem… and was helpless to do anything against him. Even if she could fight, she couldn't bring herself to do so.

The shadow beast connected to him wrapped its large powerful arms around her. Roxas felt her breath escape, felt the bones and muscles in her body slowly being squeezed until she felt the dark come around her.

"No… mnng Xion... Axel." She pictured her friends, the two people she cared about most in her mind. The memory of them fading to grey, and then the world went black.

 _ **~Meanwhile~**_

Axel stare at the winner stick in his hands his eyes sad and body slumped with exhaustion. He just couldn't find the energy to do anything. He wanted to curl up and sleep for a millenium.

"Roxas…" He clutched the stick in hand and then pocketed it. He needed fresh air, needed to clear his head. He'd heard about Xion's demise… knew it had come by Roxas' hand… but where was she now?

Walking out of the castle and down to the city below he took his time and just let the cloudy atmosphere depict his mood… if nobodies had moods.

Ah hell, this whole thing was just confusing and frustrating. He'd never had a hard time believing that no bodies had no hearts before. It didn't bother him before… until Roxas came along.

When Roxas was around he could really believe he still had a heart. He could be himself again, let himself just express and vent and relish in every happy moment, and brood at every frustrating event. Who cares if it was just memories playing tricks on him, who cares if they weren't meant to exist. The fact was they DO exist whether people liked it or not they were here, they were alive, and they were their own people.

" _I love you, Axel."_

"I love her…" Axel's head suddenly shot up. "I DO love her… I gotta find her!"

He suddenly started to run, his long legs eating up ground fast. She had to be in Twilight Town… where else would she go?

"If she had met Sora, maybe things would have been different." He heard a voice speak and his senses went on high alert. He saw two figures in the square, one wearing the organization's robes and the other shrouded in thick red garments. At their feet lay a third figure… and one he recognized immediately. "ROXAS!"

Both heads jerked up. Diz tsked and opened a dark path. Axel sneered and his Chakrams came out with a fiery blaze. He sent one flying which Riku deflected with his shadow.

"Hurry!" Riku quickly grabbed up Roxas' slumped form and stepped through the portal and Diz right behind him.

"NO! ROXAS!" Axel made a leap for the black but his hand slid through the cloak of black and he cursed. "DAMN IT! BRING HER BACK! GIVE HER BACK TO ME!"

How had this happened? How had he let them get away? Who were those people? Allies of Sora's? Were they trying to awaken her?

"The memories… they're gonna use Roxas to wake her up. They're gonna make her disappear." Panic bubbled up in his throat and he whirled around heading back to the castle. He had to tell Xemnas… they had to find out where these strangers were hiding Sora and prevent them from destroying Roxas.

 **~Twilight Mansion~**

Diz sent Roxas into his digital Twilight Town and let out a small sigh of relief.

"There… that should buy us some time." He stood up. "I've used the data I've collected on her and altered her memories to make her more docile. While she goes about her days in peace, we can extract Sora's memories without interference."

"How long will that take?" He looked to Namine who held her chest.

"I'm not entirely sure… but I can already feel Sora's heart beginning to take shape again. I think a week at most." She folded her hands and watched the monitor with soft sad eyes. "The closer she is to completion… the harder it will be to keep Roxas under your control. She'll start to remember more and more, and it'll be harder for her to accept her fate."

"She won't have a choice in the matter. Either she joins Sora of her own will, or we'll have to force her to submit. Either way Sora will be whole again, and that's all that matters."

Namine sighed and put her folded hands over her heart. Her eyes looked up ta the screen once again. "Right…"

 **~Digital Twilight Town: 7 days left of Summer Vacation~**

The soft morning light crept into the window of Roxas' room. She could hear the train roll across the tracks, and the croons of doves that perched on the roof and window sills of the town. Roxas slowly opened her eyes… the visions and dreams of the person known as Sora still fuzzy in her mind. She slowly pulled her legs to her chest and stared dazed at the posters.

"Another dream about her…" She ran fingers through her hair groaning. Man why did it feel as if she'd been hit by a truck? "What happened yesterday? Did I get into a fight?"

Names and faces flashed in her mind and she frowned.

"Oh, that's right. I had that scuffle with Seifer and his gang." She pouted remembering how she'd challenged Seifer to a Struggle match and had lost. "Damn it… how embarrassing."

Oh well, she thought, no point sitting in your room sulking about it. There was only seven more days left of Summer Vacation, and she wouldn't waste it sulking. She stood up, stretched, and got dressed. She tied her hair up into a high tail, and paused eyeing herself in the mirror. The outfit for some reason made her smile and she held out her arms spinning around and giggling.

She ran out the door, calling out to her mother and father that sad at the kitchen table as per the usual, before jogging towards the usual spot. Her and her friends Hayner, Pence, and Olette always hung out there, and had turned the little hide away into a private club room with little personal touches such as posters, a dart board, tables and chairs.

"Morning!" She called out to her three friends and they all looked at her with a frown. She raised a brow. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Don't tell me you haven't noticed." Hayner accused and sat down grunting. "Seifer's ruining our good name!"

"So? What else is new?" She sat down and crossed her legs at the ankles. "Are you angry because he won yesterday?"

"No, though thanks for reminding me! You should be more pissed off by that by the way." He pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Oh believe me I am… but the struggle tournament is coming up. So long as we win on the grand stage then I don't care if he wins in a street match." She smiled and clenched her fist up in a sign of victory. "Right?"

Hayner smiled at her and nodded.

"Right… but like I said that's not what's bugging me. Things have been going missing all over town, and I don't care if Seifer thinks we're the thieves, but what REALLY bugs me is he's going around telling everybody we're the thieves. Now everyone and their mother are treating us like the klepto club."

Roxas frowned at that and she crossed her arms. Items going missing? She hadn't heard about anything like that. Then again no one had really approached her today, no one talked or hailed her as per the usual… and that was strange.

"Now then, what to do?" Hayner beat his fist into his palm. Olette got a fretful look in her eyes hoping Hayner wouldn't pick a fight with Seifer. She looked to Roxas who caught the fret and she sighed knowing it was her job to calm Hayner's anger.

"How about we find the real thieves?" She suggested and stood up. "That should set the record straight."

"Hey, yeah, that sounds like fun!" Pence agreed.

"What about Seifer?" Hayner grumbled.

"First we gotta clear our names. Seifer can wait." She pat his shoulder smiling. "Come on, let's go find some clues."

 **~In the Real World~**

"Those Organization miscreants have found us. Namine must make haste." Diz fretted thankful he'd copied the proper data for Roxas to use her keyblade. It was a temporary fix for a temporary problem… but he foresaw things only escalating from here.

"Why would the dusks steal pictures though?" Riku, or Ansem as he now called himself, asked.

"It's all just data to them… the fools can't tell the difference." Diz explained and slumped back into his chair with a heavy sigh. "Sora's heart is already returning… doubtless she'll awaken soon."

Good, Riku thought looking down at his hands. It was better that way.

"Still, I worry that my program will not be enough to keep the organization at bay. Riku, I want you to keep an eye on Roxas… I shall monitor you both from here, and give you direction on how to handle the situation."

"Alright…"

 **~On the ClockTower~**

Axel scowled at the one picture his minions had managed to retrieve. Roxas and Hayner both smiling at the camera holding out peace signs.

"So… you are in Twilight Town…" He glanced down at the ruckus below and saw the three friends. "Strange… I've been watching these three since you left but I never see you with them. Which means…" he tapped the photo on his palm. "HE has to be involved. The man in red… and here I thought the boss had gotten rid of him for good."

Axel stood and sighed.

"Well now that I know where you're hiding Roxas… I just need to find a way around your guard dogs."

 **~Digital Twilight Town: 4 days left of Summer Vacation~**

What the hell was going on?

Roxas stare up at the ceiling her lips scorned in a deep frown. Too many weird things were happening. First there was the picture thief, and the husks in white, then a strange looking weapon that just appeared in her hand out of nowhere. On top of all that she kept having the strangest dreams about a girl named Sora and all these people that she met.

She stretched her hand up imagining the blade there. It had felt so real, and so right in her hand.

"A keyblade…" she lay her arm over her eyes sighing heavily. Forget it Roxas… just forget all these strange occurrences. It was because she'd been caught up in all these events that she'd lost the money for the beach she and her friends had worked so hard for. It was also because of that she'd bumped into Seifer and caused a miscommunication between her and Hayner. She had to find a way to apologize.

" _You and I have to make the finals… that way no matter who wins we all split the prize."_

" _Okay, you're on."_

" _It's a promise!"_

Roxas lifted her arm her eyes going hard and strong.

"Promise…" She smiled and sighed heavily. "Right."

 **~meanwhile~**

Axel let the warp form around him and he looked around whistling low.

"Wow… looks just like the real thing." He put his hands on his hips. "Not bad, old man… hmm now then where are you hiding her?" He walked down the pathway and eyed the struggle poster on the street. The date matched today's and he could hear the crowd in the distance. "Guess that answers my question."

He made his way to the crowd and eyed the stage as the struggle combatants were announced. His brow rose when he saw Roxas amongst them in regular clothes looking strangely normal amongst them.

"Well she seems to be fitting in a little too well here." He scowled and crossed his arms. Saix had mentioned that Roxas more than likely had her memories tampered with. If she was unresponsive he may have to get physical with her, and that didn't sit well with him. "Let's see if we can jog her memory a little. He waved his hand and jerked his head at the dusks that appear.

"See that tiny one there?" Axel motioned to Vivi who practiced on his own in the corner. "Use him for your objective. Don't let anyone stand in your way."

 **~In the Real World~**

Diz let out a small sound of surprise when he saw the glitches in his system go off.

"Damn, he's breached the system." He glanced over his shoulder cursing. What a time for his little helpers to be preoccupied. "Guess I'll need to handle this myself."

It would take some time for his data to be processed and integrated into the system… but he had to make sure this organization member didn't say too much.

"Diz what's happening?" Namine spoke up as she stepped into the room.

"An organization member has breached the system. I'm going in to make sure he doesn't pull Roxas out. You stay here and keep an eye on Sora, concentrate on returning her memories, that's your only job, do you understand?" He said with a brisk tone and phased into the system.

Namine sighed and watched the monitor with sad eyes.

"Roxas… I promised Xion I would look out for you… but I'm not doing a very good job am I?" She hung her head and returned to the pod room.

 **~With Roxas~**

The struggle with Vivi left her abit winded, the kid had stamina and moved irregularly from his norm. No wonder Seifer couldn't beat him. Still after everything she'd been through the past couple days this was nothing. She blocked and sent her struggle bat through his gut and collected the balls quickly.

She paused and glanced up when Vivi stopped moving to just stare at her. He was normally such a sweet kid… but yeesh he was creepy just staring at her like that. It was then she noticed everything had stilled around them. There was no sound, no movement but her own. Her eyes go back to Vivi and she frowned.

"You're not really Vivi, are you?"

Vivi shook his head, and in a flash of white the white nobody husk reformed and four more popped up to surround her.

"What? Again!?" She lifted up her struggle weapon and gasped as it turned into the keyblade. "Again…" She stared at it, the feel of the weapon, the stir in her gut, and the memories of a girl in her dreams wielding it with such fervor and heart. Narrowing her eyes she lifted the blade up and attacked.

The feel of battle was all too familiar. The way they moved was very slithery and serpent like and she moved with them to keep out of their peripheral vision. She dodged and gilded, catching their weak points and hitting them with three solid hits before jerking back and around them again.

I've felt this before… she thought as her blade cut through the first of them making them vanish. I've fought things like this before. The second one leapt up and she whirled around just in time to cleave it in two. Who are they? What are they? The third jumped and leapt and she with it smashing the tip of her blade down on its head and watching it vanish as if it had never existed. Why… She questioned her eyes wild as the last of them came at her... why do I know them?

She screamed and jabbed her blade straight through it, and she watched as the body just faded. She panted and huffed a fresh beat of sweat going down her temple. With her eyes still wild, they darted side to side looking for more. The townspeople were still frozen as if a still from a photo.

The sound of clapping had her tensed up and she whirled around blade at the ready.

"Alright, Roxas, fight, fight, fight!"

The hooded figure stepped out of the crowd and onto the platform. She turned to him fully blade still up and eyes puzzled and fierce.

"You really don't remember me… it's me, you know…" he removed his hood, the flaming red hair spiking out. "Axel."

He smiled as he watched those confused eyes narrow on him. There was still confusion, but he sensed a recognition in her eyes… which meant she knew him.. .but she didn't know why he knew her.

"Talk about blank with a capital B… even the dusks aren't going to crack this one." Axel let his chakrams appear and Roxas went back on alert.

"Wait a second!" She held out a hand, her senses on high alert. She couldn't get rid of this nagging gut feeling. There was something deeper here… something that would explain the mysteries that had been happening over the past few days. "Tell me what's going on!"

"This town is his creation right? Which means we don't have time for a Q & A… I don't want to hurt you, but you're coming with me, conscious or not." He told her and raised his chakrams spinning them in hand.

Damn it… Roxas thought gritting her teeth. What the hell was happening? Why were things so off and out of whack? One thing she knew for sure was that this redhead meant business. She looked into his eyes… and could just feel something tugging on her insides. She gripped the keyblade tightly in hand and without warning rushed him.

"Alright you asked for it!"

"That's more like it!" He rushed forward and blocked the blade with one Chakram. She let out a little gasp when he freed up his other arm and used it to grab her by the back of the neck and pull her to him. His mouth crushed down on hers and Roxas' eyes went wide with disbelief. She released one hand off her blade to push up on his chest but Axel just gripped her tighter, his lips sliding across hers and nipping playfully at the bottom lip.

"Number 13, Roxas… the keyblade's chosen one…" he smiled down at her his eyes affectionate on her face. The hand that gripped her shirt loosened and cupped her cheek while the other released his weapon to trail over her hand and clasp it. "I've finally found you."

His mouth found hers again, gentler this time and full of pent up emotions he'd all but shoved aside.

"Mmmmph…" her head felt fuzzy while her insides lit on fire. Roxas felt her blade drop, her body completely surrendering to his mouth and touch. She felt herself fit into his tall form as if she belonged there. "Axel…" she murmured his name on his lips as the kiss broke. "Who are you? I don't understand what's happening inside me. How do I know you?"

"I told you," he brushed hair behind her ear and he took her hand in his. "We don't have time for a Q &A… now come on, let's get out of here before-"

"Roxas!" Diz appeared suddenly and Roxas tensed up looking at yet another stranger. Axel let out a sound of annoyance.

"So it was you…" Axel let go of her hand to call forth his chakrams again and he sent them flying at the figure. They hit against a solid block wall the man unharmed and unflinching.

"Roxas, this man speaks nonsense."

"Roxas don't let him deceive you." Axel pleaded turning towards her again.

"Roxas…" The stranger called out for her attention, but Axel wouldn't let it go. Both of them called out her name over and over and she looked between the two confused and sick. What was going on? What was happening? Who were these people? Where were her friends?

"Hayner… Pence… Olette…"

She could visualize them… she and her friends eating ice cream atop the clock tower smiling and watching the sunset. This was what was familiar to her… having fun with her friends, eating sea salt ice cream, watching the sunset over the town. The image was so perfect and so complete she clung to it and refused to let go.

"HAYNER! PENCE! OLETTE!"

She gasped as sound and movement returned and she looked around. The strangers were gone, the people were shouting and cheering for her after her victory against Vivi. She turned around, saw her friends smiling and calling her name. Tears of relief stung her eyes and she smiled.

Yes… this was normal, this was what she wanted. All she needed was her friends…

...and yet as the day settled and she returned home she could still feel the burning taste of Axel's lips on hers… and feel the ache in her chest from looking into his familiar eyes.

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: I had to split this chapter into 2 because it got waaaaaay too long! I'm refining the last bits of this next chapter but I'll have it posted within 24 hours of this one. PROMISE!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: My Summer Vacation PT. 2**_


	18. My Summer Vacation pt2

If We Had Hearts

Chapter 18: My Summer Vacation PT. 2

 **~A World That Never Was~**

"You can't seriously be considering getting rid of her!" Axel protested to the superior. In the great room of thirteen seats only three members were attending the council as others were busy with mission work. Aside from Axel and The Superior, the organization's #3 Xaldin sat tall in his chair glowering at the lower member.

"Why are you showing favoritism? You who have been so merciless to others who betrayed and abandoned the organization?"

"I'm telling you it's not like that. She hasn't betrayed or abandoned anything, they're keeping her hostage, messing with her mind. She can't come back!" Axel pleaded his fist banging on the side of his chair. "We need to rescue her, not destroy her."

"Rescue? Please, she's not some princess in a tower and you're not a white knight. You are a nobody, a member of this organization and she is a traitor. If she cannot come back, then you know what you must do." Xaldin spoke with a firm tone, his lance lifting up and shooting across the room and right next to Axel's head. "Or it'll be you who'll face the consequences."

Axel sniffed and he looked up at the superior who said no words… but his actions spoke for themselves.

"So you'll turn me into a dusk?" His fingers dug into his arms. "Alright, ALRIGHT! I'll do it if that's what you want!"

Damn it, Axel thought with a curse. Now he really had to convince Roxas to come back with him… or they'd both be destroyed.

 **~Digital Twilight Town: 2 days left of Summer Vacation~**

"You know…" Pence called out to Roxas who stood out in front of the mansion. They'd all agreed to check out the 7 mysterious wonders of Twilight Town as part of their independent study homework… but after investigating a few Roxas had suddenly started acting odd… seeing things that weren't there, hearing voices, and nearly walking right off the train platform. Seeing her like that had upset Hayner and completely cut the fun mood. "We were gonna check out the mansion tomorrow."

Roxas slowly turned to face Pence her eyes narrowed and hands fisted at her sides. After all the oddities they'd experienced today the train was the last straw. She KNEW she'd seen the ghost train… had been ready to step right onto it. Now Roxas wondered if she was going crazy… and if the events of yesterday even happened.

"It is the most suspicious place, even Seifer's gang was gonna help."

"Seifer?"

"Yeah, Hayner asked him to." Pence explained and eyed the top window. "They say that a girl appears in the second floor window, even though no one has lived here for years."

"A girl… huh?" Roxas' eyes looked straight up at the white curtained window… and she saw Namine there. She'd only met the girl briefly on the street, a harmless hello that had triggered bigger events such as the encounter with the Seifer's gang and the miscreants, and her strange dream of facing a large monstrous husk.

Namine had to be connected with everything that was going on. Which means she had to have answers.

"Roxas…" she heard Namine's voice call to her and Roxas felt as if she were floating. She could see the room, the large white room with pages of pictures scattered all around. These pictures were all images of things that were familiar… things she'd seen in dreams.

"Namine?" Her eyes scanned the room for her, but saw no one. So she eyed the pictures instead and reached out stroking a finger over the figures. "This is me?" She pointed to the blonde in black and looked to the figure next to her. "Axel's here too?"

"He is your boyfriend after all…"

"Very funny…" Roxas laughed a little. She thought Namine meant that as a tease since Axel had kissed her suddenly, but didn't see the frown on Namine's lips.

"Don't you want to know the truth about who you really are?"

"I do, but I'm not sure I'll like the answers. No one knows me better than me, right?"

"Of course…" Namine agreed, but with a bit of reluctance in her voice. Instead of questioning it Roxas moved on, eying more pictures and pausing on one of a familiar trio.

"You know these three don't you?" Namine asked.

"Yeah… Sora, Donald and Goofy. They're from the dreams." She gave a small smile at the happy expression depicted. She'd gotten that same happy go lucky feel when watching them in her dreams.

"About a year ago… some things happened and I had to take apart the pieces of Sora's memories. Now i'm putting them back where they belong again. It's taken me a long time, but soon Sora will be her old self again. The process has been affecting you too Roxas."

"You mean the dreams?" She wandered a little further and saw another picture, one of her and Sora side by side holding hands as if they were friends.

"Yes… you see, you and Sora are connected Roxas. You hold half of what she is… and in order for her to be completely whole again, she needs you."

Roxas slowly turned and finally faced Namine who sat at the table her expression calm and sweet.

"Namine… who are you?"

"I'm a witch, I have powers over Sora's memories and those around her." She explained calmly. "At least that's what Diz calls me."

Roxas didn't need to be told who Diz was. She recalled the fearful man in red and his foreboding presence. She sighed heavily and looked back at the picture of her and Axel again.

"It's funny… I say no one knows me better than me… but suddenly I feel like I don't know myself at all." She slumped back in her chair sighing. "Everything that's been happening… it's so confusing and upsetting. I want to know why. Just who am I? Tell me Namine, what do you know about me that I don't?"

"You…" Namine swallowed hard not liking what was about to come out of her mouth. "You were never supposed to exist, Roxas."

Roxas' eyes went wide and then saddened.

"How can you say that? Even if it were true?"

"I'm sorry…" She apologized and bowed her head. "I guess some things really are better left unsaid."

As the haze cleared and Roxas felt herself getting shaken by Pence she shook her head looking at him.

"Hey you okay? Did you see her?"

"Yeah, look up at the window, closely."

Pence glanced up, narrowed his eyes then let out a aggravated sigh.

"Aww lame, it's just the curtain moving." Pence shrugged. "Ah well… let's head back to the usual spot and let Olette and Hayner know."

"Right…" Roxas followed him but looked over her shoulder at the mansion with a soft scowl.

 _ **~Digital Twilight Town: 1 Day Left of Summer Vacation~**_

" _You were never meant to exist, Roxas."_

It took Roxas hours to find sleep after the day's events. She'd joined Hayner, Pence, and Olette atop the tower for ice cream as usual, but she just couldn't enjoy it. She had too many things on her mind, too many worries and wonders about her life.

When she did finally sleep she dreamed of Sora…

 _ **~Dream Sequence~**_

 _Though the visions were hazy and the voices scattered Roxas could vaguely make out the tall white door, and inside were crowds of heartless, a mouse like figure with a glowing keyblade, and a pair of teal eyes staring at her._

" _Don't give up!" Riku shouted suddenly his face on the other side of the door._

" _Riku!"_

" _No wait, what are you doing, if you stay inside you'll get locked in!" She tried to pull him through the cracks._

" _Don't worry about me," He stroked her hand gripping it tightly in his. "I'll be fine."_

" _I don't want to say goodbye."_

" _So we won't… I'll see you again."_

" _Prom… wait…" thinking quickly she dug into her pocket and shoved the pendant at him. Riku's eyes went wide as he took hold and lifted it up._

" _What's this."_

" _It's a charm… so long as you have it I'll always be with you. So promise me, Riku, Promise me we'll see each other again, prom-" Riku leaned through the door and finally closed that gap between them. His lips met Sora's in a warm kiss that was the promise of his return._

" _I love you, Sora."_

" _You're the one that's special to me, Roxas…"_

" _Special? You still can't say it can you?"_

 _ **~End of Dream Sequence~**_

Roxas woke with a start her face pale and sweaty. It was the first time she'd seen and heard herself in the dreams. Slowly she sat up and held her head, her body feeling so heavy and clouded. Was that Axel's voice she'd heard before her own?

"Are we really… a couple?" She touched her lips remembering the feel of his there and she shook her head trying to clear the haze. "Man what a night… I hope we find out what's really going on today, or I might go crazy."

She stood up and glanced out the window of her room and the morning sky. Tomorrow was the last day of Summer Vacation… There would be a fair and no matter what happened today she was determined to spend it with her friends and enjoy it. She'd brought down their fun long enough.

She showered and changed, pausing only briefly when she didn't see her parents at the table.

"Huh.. that's strange…" she looked around for them but shrugged it off and continued to run out. The townspeople ignored her, but she gave them no mind. Her smile brightened some when she saw her three friends clutched in a tight circle and laughing. Good it seemed they were all in a cheery mood.

"Hey guys! Man I could not sleep last night…" when they ignored her continuing with their conversation, Roxas frowned. "Guys?" She reached a hand out to touch Hayner's shoulder and gasped when her hand went straight through. "What?"

The group turned and ran straight through her and Roxas' eyes went wide in disbelief as Namine's words rang in her mind.

 _You were never meant to exist, Roxas._

Panic bubbled in her throat and she whirled around to run after them. As she breached the opening her friends were nowhere in sight… no one was. The town was silent as a tomb and it just added to her panic.

She let out a small startled sound as the white husks appeared blocking both of her paths… and from behind a dark portal opened and Axel stepped through.

"Look what it's come to…" Axel sighed heavily. "I have these icky orders to destroy you, if you refuse to come back with me."

Roxas slowly turned towards him, her eyes sad and hands shaking. Destroy her? What the hell?

"We're… together though… aren't we?"

"Well yeah but I'm not getting turned into a dusk for-" his voice cut off as realization hit. He looked into her face, saw the sad look in her eyes. "Wait, do you remember, now?"

"Y-Yeah…" she looked down guiltily. He was so excited, so eager… it had to be true, didn't it? He atmosphere didn't bode well… if he attacked she needed a weapon. Her eyes glanced around and she saw a thick stick laying at her feet.

"That's great, Roxie!" He approached her and she took a cautious step back. The hitch in her step made his eyes narrow. "I… I better make sure though so… what's our bosses name?"

Damn… Roxas looked down ashamed and crouched to pick up the stick. Axel saw her getting ready to defend herself and his hope shattered.

"You don't remember… man I can't believe this." He strung fingers through his hair in frustration. "How have things gotten so messed up?"

"I'm sorry, Axel… I wish like hell I know what was going on." The keyblade appeared in her hand and her eyes narrowed. "All I know… is that something's telling me not to trust you."

Axel's eyes flinched as he recalled her words the day they broke up.

" _I can't! I can't trust you anymore! I can't trust anyone."_

Her words left him frozen, even as she took on the nobodies that launched at her and tried to block her path. He couldn't bring himself to move or go against her. Had he really damaged their relationship that badly? Was it really his fault that they were in this position?

He clenched his teeth and let out a loud aggravated shout before raising his chakrams ready to attack her. Roxas lifted her blade prepared to block, but noticed he'd become frozen.

"What?" She waved a hand in front of Axel's eyes.

 _ROXAS! TO THE MANSION!_

Diz's voice called out and she looked around for his form. When she found no one she just decided to listen and make a run for the mansion. As she made her way through the abandoned town more nobodies appeared to get in her way. She cut them down running with all her might towards the mansion.

As time unfroze Axel watched her run, watched Roxas leave him once again. He held his chest gritting his teeth. It was painfully clear to him now.

"The Roxas I know is long gone…" He couldn't make up for his mistakes anymore. If she wouldn't come back, if she wouldn't accept him… then he had no choice but to do his job. "Fine… I see how it is."

 **~Twilight Mansion~**

Her memories were coming back… piece by piece she could see the picture forming in her head. Axel had been the trigger, and now little by little she could see why she hadn't really fit into this world, could see why Namine had told her she wasn't meant to exist. This world she was in wasn't real, at least not this version of it.

She went to the room with all the pictures, looking at the objects and people that were all too familiar to her. She saw herself in a city of darkness and had to hold her temple as more memories rushed in.

 _Your mind's made up?_

 _Why did the keyblade choose me? I have to know._

 _You can't turn on the organization!_

Organization 13… she'd once been a part of this group, along with Axel.

"Organization 13," she slowly turned to Namine who had been watching her this whole time. "Aren't they a bad group?"

"Bad, or good, I don't know. They're a group of incomplete people who are desperately searching for something." Namine explained sitting calmly in her seat as she had before.

"Searching for what?"

"Kingdom Hearts."

Kingdom Hearts… that rang bells and left an uncomfortable weight on her chest. She had to laugh at herself… man she was pathetic.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just, I think I'm running away from the question I really want to ask." Roxas' eyes took on a deep saddened look. "The pieces of my memory are coming back… and I'm slowly filling in the gaps. It's just… I don't know what's going to happen from here. I don't belong in this world, and I don't belong with the Organization. So I guess what I really want to know is... what's gonna happen to me now?"

She looked down at her hands sighing heavily and shutting her eyes. She felt so helpless, so incomplete. Everything she cared about was being stripped away from her, and she was left in limbo with direction to go in.

"Nothing else really matters anymore."

"Roxas…" filled with sympathy Namine smile warmly. "You are-" the image was disrupted, Namine's form disappearing and fading into code before Diz appeared and faced her.

"There's no knowledge that has the power to change your fate!" Diz said with malice in his voice. Roxas narrowed her eyes on this figure and she stepped forward.

"Maybe not, but I want to know. I have the RIGHT to know."

"A nobody doesn't have a right to know, nor does it have a right to BE."

Her spine tingled at that and her eyes went fierce and temperamental.

"WHAT IS A NOBODY?!"

"Diz!" Ansem/Riku appeared suddenly fully cloaked. "We've run out of time, too many nobodies."

Another black portal appeared and Namine stepped through.

"Roxas, nobodies like us are only half a person. You won't disappear, you'll be whole!" Namine tried to explain but Diz grabbed her trying to silence her.

"No more outbursts!" He told her and tried to pull her back into the darkness.

"LET HER GO! NAMINE!" Roxas reached out to stop but they disappeared. Overwhelmed by information and emotion Roxas held her head her eyes shutting tightly. What the hell? What the fucking hell?

A Nobody? A half a person?She glanced back at the portrait of her and Sora. As she stared at it something started to press on her mind. She wandered the mansion trying to find more clues to the answers she sought… and when she found Diz's lab, saw the readouts for both her and Sora the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. She was Sora's nobody… she was the half of Sora that was missing in order to wake her and complete her memories.0

"No…" She looked down at her hands and shut her eyes tightly. "I don't want to disappear… I don't want to be just another part of someone else. I want a life of my own, friends to spend time with, worlds I want to see… don't I at least deserve a chance to be my own person!?"

She screamed and let loose her keyblade. She smashed it into the computer over and over releasing the anger and sadness that had built up inside. Why!? Why did it have to be Sora!? What was wrong with her? Why was she the one that had to disappear?!

"It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!" She took one last swing panting and sobbing her head aching from the memories pressing in and the pull of something from further inside the mansion. She was here… Sora was here.

She turned to the open doorway eyes hard and she stepped into the next room. She hissed in irritation as nobodies popped up and Roxas cut through them almost effortlessly. She was sick of being stopped, sick of people getting in her way. She wanted to end this, wanted to end all of it!

"Simply amazing Roxas!" Axel's voice called out and had her tensed up. She turned to face him, and her heart ached. She saw the hurt and fury there, could hear the irritation in his voice and knew that a fight was inevitble.

"Axel…" regret stirred in her voice. "I'm sorry."

"You really do remember me this time…" he clenched his teeth and turned to her fully. HIs anger erupted in a chasm of flames. "I'm so FLATTERED!"

Roxas brought up her hands hissing out a breath as the flames burned around her and brightening the room. Through the haze of fire and smoke Roxas could see Axel's face, so filled with hurt and yet a twisted determination. He had an objective to complete, and was bound determined to fulfill it.

Alright then… no holding back.

Digging deep into her power Roxas stretched out her hands, two keyblades appearing and she twirled them together and stepped into a defensive stance.

"Two!?" Axel looked at her surprised and then had to laugh. "Learned some new tricks I see."

"Yeah, let's do this, Axel! Don't hold back!" She tossed her hair back and out of her face, sweat already forming from the increased heat.

"Ha, feeling a bit hasty are we? Then come here, I'll make it all stop!" He waved his Chakrams around teasingly and then launched up. "BURN BABY!"

Roxas leapt up as the floor became encased in flames as well. She had to keep a light footing or her shoes would melt on contact. Her keyblades matched blows with Axel's blocking and parrying. She had to quickly back up to avoid being cut across the chest and she grit her teeth realizing he'd taken her seriously when she'd told him not to hold back.

How had it come to this? She wondered. He'd once meant everything to her, but now she hardly recognized the man in front of her. Then again she'd changed too… she'd gotten a taste of true friendship, had gotten a taste of what it was like to just be happy. Now that she'd gotten that taste she wanted more. She wanted a life, wanted true friendship, true happiness… she wanted a heart!

"It's unfair isn't it?!" She beat her blades into a chest and sent him skidding on the ground. The flames died some, but the tornado of fire remained keeping the area heated and cut off from the outside.

"What is?!" Axel asked with a growl his temper rising more and he threw his chakrams at her which she blocked. He leapt at her and they braced against each other, both of their eyes looking fierce and competitive… but Roxas' held something more. They showed a deep seeded grief.

"It's not fair that you have to have hearts to really belong."

Axel's movements hitched at her words. She shoved him back and cross slashed both blades into his chest. Axel let out a cry of pain and stumbled back holding his chest. He shakily lifted on hand ready to attack again… but then he saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

"We needs heart to truly exist. That's why the organization was created… it was to make it so those of us without hearts could finally belong. The organization worked so hard to build Kingdom Hearts, and why they needed me to collect those hearts. I finally understand the real mission."

"Roxas…" he moved to stand but winced and held his side and fell back down to a knee.

"I'm sorry, Axel… I was a fool for not trusting you. You said that finding out the truth wouldn't make things better… and you were right." She shut her eyes and cried. "They just made things worse."

The flames died down as Axel watched Roxas cry. Realization hit him like a freight train. What was he doing? Had he really just been ready to kill the one person who meant the world to him? Damn it, what kind of fucked up drama was this?

"What's done is done… you already made your choice. We both have." Axel lowered his head in shame.

"Axel… does it really have to be this way? Do we really have to say goodbye as enemies rather than friends?" She asked him looking in his eyes pleadingly. She had fought against him with all of her strength, it would have done neither of them justice if she had held back because of her feelings… but now she was sick of fighting, sick of the animosity they shared. "I don't want that. I don't want to keep pretending that I hate you when I don't!"

Her words awoken him and he smiled a bit sighing heavily as the fight in him died. Damn it… he lost.

"Neither do I..." He laughed a little, struggled to his feet and walked to her. "Geez I'd nearly forgotten… the real reason I came to find you was so I could tell you something." He couldn't quite catch his breath. His eyes were filled with pain both physical and emotional. The moment she was within reach he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. "I was wrong, Roxas. You were right. It doesn't matter if we don't have hearts."

"What are you talking about? I just said-" Roxas lifted her hands gripping his cloak but he took her hands cupping them in his.

"It doesn't matter we don't have hearts. I believe you when you say that you love me…" he watched her eyes go wide with disbelief and he had to smile. "I believe you... because I love you too."

"Axel…" She stared at him tears fresh in her eyes as everything came flooding in at once. His mouth came down on hers again and he held her to him, holding on for dear life wishing he could just keep her there. He felt her wrap around him, felt her fingers tighten in his cloak and felt whole again. If things were different, he could be content just being with her, and staying incomplete… but things wouldn't change… not for them.

"I failed…" He stepped back from her, the black surrounding him. Roxas made a helpless sound and stepped towards him but he held out his hand "You and I both know what will happen if you came back with me. I won't let them use or destroy you, anymore Roxas… but I'm not gonna give you up either. I'll find a way for us to be together. So let's meet again, in the next life."

She let a little sob escape but her smile bloomed and she nodded at him. For some reason that teary smile meant the world to him.

"Yeah, I'll be waiting."

As Roxas watched him fade into the dark she lowered her head and just cried. A few moments later she stood in front of the capsule looking up at Sora's sleeping form. So this was it, huh? This was her fate? She couldn't help but feel animosity towards this girl. Sora had everything she wanted… it wasn't fair...it just wasn't fair.

"Sora, you're lucky." Her expression was bitter and teary. She wanted to be someplace else… anywhere else… but knew she couldn't run from this anymore. If only… she thought with bitterness… if only she had a heart too.

"Looks like my summer vacation is… over."

 **THE END,**

 _ **~Ask Briry~**_

 _ **Briry: *tears* sniff sniff… damn you KH… pull on my heartstrings why don'tcha!? Final chapter is complete! I hope you all enjoyed it! Please look forward to the next segment**_

" _ **If This Is The End."**_


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